https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/april-2020-general-conference-format-change

There will be no gasps from the audience when the 53rd temple will be announced for Utah. There will be no audible laughs when Rusty and company distills their lame attempts at humor. And, not that it really matters, but how are they going to do a sustaining vote of Rusty and company with no audience at the Conference Center, and no stake center audiences?

...and the TBM drones will say "Isn't amaaazing that the Prophet knew about this when he said this Conference will be different!"

Haha!

I wonder how it's going to affect the egos of the speakers talking in a HUGE assembly hall of empty seats?

Salt Lake City (AP-Aaronic Priesthood)

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints today announced the purchase of 20,000 inflatable dolls.

Church spokesman J. DeAlma Smith-Young stated that the dolls would be used to provide a more realistic experience for conference speakers.

"Ever since President Nelson requested that members not attend General Conference", he said, "several General Authorities have expressed concern about having to speak in an empty building."

"This purchase will allow us to recreate the effect of a capacity crowd" Smith-Young said. "The speakers will be placed more at ease when they can look into a sea of faces"

Elder Ray B. Gay of the Fourteenth Quorum of Seventy said "This inspired decision shows that the church is truly led by a prophet."

Smith-Young released the following statement from President Russell M. Nelson:
"I previously announced that this would be a special General Conference. For a while it appeared that the adversary would interfere in our celebration of Joseph Smith's hallucination - I mean vision - but thanks to this revelation, we will indeed have a very special experience."

Smith-Young stated that all of the deacons in Utah County have been called to perform the task of inflating the dolls prior to the start of conference.

Smith-Young declined to comment about the cost of the purchase, but Elder Gay said "It is only a small part of Ensign Peak's resources, and I can say that no tithing money was used. I would encourage members to continue to pay a full tithe."

When contacted by the AP Wally Willey, general manager of the LuvRite Doll Company, also declined to relate the value of the sale, saying only "This was one of our largest orders ever. I'm sure they will have many hours of enjoyment from our product in the months to come."

The church used to be worried about members refusing to sustain the leaders. The church has had to deal with outbursts in the past.

Perhaps they were worried that members might yell out "Ensign Peak" or maybe a chant about BYU. The church still fails to understand why it loses the youth over its homophobic tirades.

How about a simple priesthood blessing cleansing the venues? Mormons do believe in the priesthood, right? The Oh ye of little faith Boner.

Happened twice before. 1957 and 1919 if I recall.

How can it be that Prophet Rusty didn't see this coming?

Yeah, it’s almost like he doesn’t have prophetic powers.

Oaks is his kryptonite.

I just received a call from my 90 year old mother telling me about this, how awe-inspiring, wise, and concerned the brethren are in cancelling GC.

I said, "But I am shocked, dismayed, and surprised at this...many would be attendees have had their endowments, most wear the sacred temple garments, many priesthood bearers are at GC, the prophet who holds the keys of this dispensation is going to be here, there are 15 prophets, seers, and revelators there, the conference center is surrounded by legions of Nephite (and Lamanite) spirit warriors - why or why would they need to cancel? Did they run this past Jesus? Y'all are protected for gosh sakes...where is the faith"

She quickly dismissed all that and said, "Well just because we all have all that doesn't mean we don't get sick."

Well, god wasn't pleased with the offerings. He said he needed 100 billion or he wasn't going to lift a finger to help. :D

100 beeeeeeelllllion dollars....

It’s all on you for not fasting!

You got a lotta ‘splaining to do, Lucy!!

We could even have heavenly apparitions, what with no one there to see the wires!

to the air breathed out from ordinary people.

They might die before their time, you know.

Nailed it.

I think that they're terrified of this "invisible enemy." They know that they are at high risk and are shaking in their boots.

From the article: "We have counseled with worldwide governmental, ecclesiastical, and medical leaders ..."

ha!

Sure like to make themselves sound important, don't they?
Which worldwide governmental leaders are going to counsel with those jokers?

kathleen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Sure like to make themselves sound important,
> don't they?
> Which worldwide governmental leaders are going to
> counsel with those jokers?

Larry, Curly, & Moe

Groucho Marx

Peter Sellers in 'the mouse that roared'

A rabbi, a doctor, and a lawyer for the government walk into a bar...not Mitt though. The LDS Church has to pay for a lunch with each of them to talk about Corona not over Coronas.

The article also mentions the problems inherent in LDS sacrament service. You can get the officiators to wash their hands thoroughly and not touch anything/anybody before breaking the bread (though good luck with that).

But every person touching the tray handle as they pass it along--that's going to be a problem.

Imagine sm with the blessing of the bread, then members get up and form a line. A priest wearing gloves will pop a special lds made wafer (one side Jesus the other side the temple) into every member's mouth.

Pez dispensers and squirt guns ...

last time I went (Months ago) they drink out of a common cup; I'm betting that doesn't last long; plastic or paper individual cups? bring your own??

Well, church leaders *are* in the most vulnerable group for the virus.

Then again, the living fossils are the most vulnerable group so it's not that surprising. It's self-preservation since if they really cared about the members, they would cancel Sunday services and close the temples for a while.

I Hate the flowerly, uncompassionate Corporate way their announcements are published,99.9 % PR, self- aggrandizing palp.

It's like they have no intention of hearing what the rank-and-file think or say.

And of course “the Lard has blessed us with the technology blah blah blah..”. Ummm, no. That would be engineers and scientists.

If they are so worried about large crowds, why are they still going to have the 300 voice choir there in person? Are they not concerned for their safety? I can tell you I would not want to be part of a group that was singing and possibly emitting anything by mouth upon others in the group. Just sayin.

In regards to the choir, etc...the gov has said that all gatherings of 100 or more should be cancelled. AND, that folks over 60 should avoid groups of 20 or more....so, the whole dang conference should be scrapped or postponed!