My sister died at the age of 58 nearly 4 years ago (esophageal and stomach cancer). She was born and raised ‘in the church’ but had permanently parted ways with it when she was about 18 years old. She had married twice, the second time to a man identified here as K** C. This man was divorced and had two young sons. They were married for 5 years, and I was not privy to details of their estrangement, other than she said that K** had decided to get back together with his first wife.

Last year, my son got the following note though an ancestry/family tree website. He shared it with me:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Hello P****,

I have been getting promptings to help complete J***’s temple ordinances and have reached out to two of her siblings without any response. Would you be willing to grant permission to complete her ordinances.

Former husband.

In this life I could not seem to help her but would certainly like to make sure that she has the opportunity to now except or decline the gospel of Jesus Christ. We were married for 5 years and I new J*** quite well. I am certain she is ready.

Sincerely,

K** C “

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This letter bothers me for several reasons (besides the fact that he cannot spell). First, he may be referring to me as one of his “reaching outs”. A year prior to this note, this former husband sent me a “Friend” invite on Facebook – no note or message. It took me a while to figure out who he was, and when I did, I turned down the invite; I had nothing to say to him.

The second issue is the use of the word “promptings.” Members of LDS Corp. use this terminology to claim direct communication/contact with and guidance from the supernatural, when in reality they are self-generated delusions and pretended hallucinations – nothing more and nothing less.

Third, the air of superiority bothers me. It’s a case of “We know what’s best for you and what’s best for J***”. My sister was doing quite well without dealing with LDS Corp interference in her life (I have no idea if/how involvement in the LDS Corp factored into their marriage; my sister never went into great detail regarding any of their problems).

I advised my son to ignore this request. I told him that – if he conveyed any ‘permission’ to this ex- to perform these ordinances – he should be prepared to experience hauntings, nightmares, and wholesale negative interference in his life from his departed aunt until the day he died. Regardless of what this ex- said, K** certainly did NOT “know” my sister nearly as well as he claimed.

My sister made her life choice and followed her own track regarding the LDS Corp for at least 40+ years. Why can’t they just leave her alone? She’s not bothering or hurting any of them.

At least they are making him ask for permission. I doubt he is asking permission just be kind because just the fact he is doing it makes him sound like a jerk. I hope you can keep him from being able to "do her work."

I am sorry for the loss of your sister. It can be very frustrating when people interfere with your family. Contacting your son was also inappropriate.

Perhaps this thought may give you comfort-

These people have no power over you, your son, or your sister. They can believe all they want, but nothing that they do in their silly temples matters.

It sounds like your sister made her choices in life and good for her. No one can take that away.

I am sorry that you had to experience this. Unfortunately, it will probably happen again. Depending on the age of your son you may want to tell K** to back off.

Good luck.

I would probably use saltier language than "back off".

I think your advice to your son to ignore your sister's ex-husband's request is good.

I too was instantly turned off by the word "prompted." It's a manipulative word Mormons use to show that God is guiding them. How can you argue with someone who is prompted?

Maybe the ex-husband wants to be sure that more than one woman will be waiting for him in the next life.

The last, recent letter I had from my sister had the exact same spelling errors. Is there something that happens to mental acuity when religious magical thinking dominates one's thoughts?

Ignore the ex. There is a good reason he's an ex.

Ragnar, so sorry for the loss of your sister.
Her short term husband is very insensitive and inappropriate. I would take matters into my own hands and response directly to him with something along the lines....

Dear KC, my son has notified me that you have reached out to him regarding my beloved sister. We have not been made aware that you have reached out to anyone regarding Mormon ordinances. It appears you are unaware that my sister cut ties with Church Inc and was content with her decision.

The family does not give you permission to pursue this matter as it is not your concern as you are a former spouse for a short term. We insist that you do not contact us further for any reasons.

Sincerely,
J's family.

I would be so tempted to ask him WHO prompted him, but those kind of questions are just opening up a can of worms. Also, HE would not being doing any ordinances another woman would be representing your sister. Sounds like he might want to pursue a sealing? My ex TBM spouse has told me that when he gets married again I can dissolve my sealing. As if I needed permission. I believe he is truly afraid that if he doesn't get married again in this life that I am his best bet and he will drag me kicking and screaming as his plan B.

RMM

I like this approach. I would add two nuances, though, including a clear statement that you will sue both the ex-husband and the church if they proceed with his plans; and carbon copies sent certified to the bishop, the stake president, and church headquarters.

I like this response. I was thinking, "She's your EX for a reason. Leave her *alone*."

So creepy and inappropriate. I hope you tell him to leave you alone.

You guys are all so much nicer than I would be :) And I so agree with Pooped, an ex is an ex for a reason.

I thought they just did it. Or does that apply only to dead dunking?

I realize categories of people (Holocaust victims, notably) are off limits,* but aren't they doing work for everybody else?

*I acknowledge reports that they do Holocaust victims' work on the sly.

In the case of the recently deceased, they generally ask permission from the living relatives. That's presumably what is happening here.

I don't know why but when I read your post I was "prompted" to have the thought, "Mormon Bounty Hunter."



What a creep. You were certainly prompted to have the correct concerns regarding this arrogant inappropriate contact.

And. He's just getting a head start on this CK polygamy thing. Anyone think part of the temple work he's instigating won't be having her sealed to him? Win/win for him cause now she can't get away and will finally have to obey for all eternity. (From your post my guess is she wasn't too obedient--yay for her."

Next email from him will be, "Know any other pretty women who have died recently and need their temple work done?"

Anyone who wants to can kiss off 10% of their money, dress up in ghost drag, waste their day, tie knots, shake hands, and chant “oogedie-boogedie-boo” to induct me into their Mickey Mouse of The Dead fan club.

It will make absolutely no difference to me.

I am only surprised you are not more enraged by his message or that you even thought you needed to explain to us why it made you angry when it is self-evident.

Hey K.C.

Pound Sand, Eat Shit, COAC... your preference.