Posted by:
Elder Berry
(
)
Date: May 11, 2020 02:55PM
I called my mother yesterday. She talked and then in walked my brother's family and she had to go. She told me she would call me back. Then she called back and talked for over an hour. But then my sister called and she had to go. I have a lot of siblings.
Part of me thinks it was a good talking to (me) because I don't care much anymore about her opinions. She ceases to anger me like she usually does. So instead of disagreeing I just listened like some of my siblings learned to do. I've lost the war of attrition. It upset my wife because she thought I should have defended people more. My mother would have just ditched me if I started to disagree with her or question her opinions.
In my defense, I was truly interested in how she was doing and how bad it was for my father. She hasn't changed much but I have this hope that she will change. I know it is totally in vane. But children of abuse never stop hoping their neglectful and abusive parents will change.
I think we had a goodish sort of chat. She waxed ponderizing in wondering how my father would eventually die and how she didn't want to go first for fear we would put him in a home. Yep it would have to happen. If he gets even a little worse we might be into elder abuse from neglect territory. But my Utah sibs are visiting every day - one kid per day - to check up on him. Ironically, she is now trapped with family instead of socializing in the temple and volunteer jobs. She has to deal with family. It reminds her of when she was trapped at home as a stay at home mother.
Which is a lie. When I rolled into this world at number 6, my elder sisters were old hat at babysitting so she could do PTA, church and anything else she could find to get out of our house. And interestingly when we talked about them dying I asked her if she wanted to die with an active social life or one more insulated with family. She didn't reply but changed the subject.
My mother, (shaking my head) she is nothing if not consistent. Apparently, she takes my father on a drive every day as well. She told me "he drives" because he is a back seat (front seat) driver. He tells her what turns to take and navigates for her. At least he hasn't lost that. He has trouble forming sentences and taking off his shoes before his pants but he knows where he is.
Anyway, you all didn't want all this information so I will get to the point.
My mother loves to gossip. She is a piece of work that would take too long to tell you about but one thing is she is a gossip monger. And apparently, word on Mormon street is the Mormon powers don't want anyone in their 80s working in the temple. She said that she was released from being a temple worker and only younger people will be able to be temple workers. They don't want the ancients clogging up their dead people processing plants anymore.
I told her that was super ironic given her church is led by a man in his 90s.