Posted by:
westernwillows
(
)
Date: June 08, 2020 04:38PM
You remind me so much of myself, 25 years ago (except that I'm female and didn't have to worry about the pressure to serve a mission, but the pressure to marry in the temple was certainly there).
I left the church the day I left my parents house. I went out of state to college and simply stopped attending. Sure, I racked up $55,000 in student loan debt, but I look at that as the cost of my freedom. Well worth it. I resigned seven years later. I would have resigned sooner, but I simply didn't know that was an option. I didn't even know I could Google such a thing. I thought I was stuck on the rolls forever.
What I wanted more than anything in high school was to be free to be me. I HATED being Mormon and I was embarrassed by it. Under my parents roof, I had to follow their rules. I love my parents, but they are authoritarian and very, very brainwashed by the church after generations of being members. One of their minor children leaving the church was not going to happen, no way, no how. To make my life easier, I played the game. I was as involved as I needed to be to keep them happy, and no more.
I started babysitting at age 12 and squirrling away all my money. I was a huge saver. I got my first "real" job at a Kmart when I was 16 and saved all that money too. I worked 30 hours a week from my sophomore year until I graduated and saved most of it. No, working at Kmart wasn't glamorous, but it bought me my freedom. Money in the bank gave me options many of my friends didn't have.
Today, I'm a freelance writer, a land investor, and I own a brick-and-mortar business that is thriving. It's hard work. Long hours. I didn't get here right out of college though. I worked for some amazing employers, and they all taught me something that has molded me into the successful entrepreneur I am today. I've worked for some crappy employers too. I quit those jobs. There's no shame in that. Life is short and there's some fantastic employers out there.
THIS IS IMPORTANT!!! If you read nothing else in my post, read this: KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND YOUR EARS OPEN. Free knowledge is out there. Be willing to learn it and put in the hard work to apply it. That is where success comes from. Sure, I learned things in college, but I've learned the skills that make me money in the real world. Be willing to learn and you will find a willing teacher.
When you finally do have your freedom, be careful. Start drinking slowly and find your limits. Stay safe. Stay with trusted friends. Don't drink and drive. Use protection and avoid STDs. Don't do stupid illegal things and get arrested. Too many young people who leave the mormon church go too far the other way. Find a balance. Out of the church you will find that not everyone is drinking (I don't -- I'm a diabetic and alcohol disagrees with my blood sugar), not everyone drinks coffee (my husband was raised Catholic and hates coffee), not everyone is getting laid. Try things because you want to, not because you feel societal pressure to.
Good luck! It's not easy being trapped in the church when all you want is out. You will make it to the other side, and come out far less damaged than many on this board who discovered the truth well into adult hood.