Date: November 22, 2020 02:21PM
I was thinking about my time as a Mormon (joined 1992 for TBM finace, was fully active until I resigned and divorced in 2007). Although I never believed all of the oddness, and very rarely felt comfortable with the doctrine, I did my best to fit in, held leadership callings, did all my visiting teaching, meeting attending, etc. I met some lovely people, but once I left, it was lights out, I was truly shunned. Never in the 13 years have I missed it, I just keep wondering why I stayed in that long.
A couple of things stand out as truly creepy and bizarre, please feel free to share your own.
1. TBM husband had been married before, it ended very badly with adultery and drug use on her part. However, because their children were "sealed" to them, he would never marry me in the temple. Literally on our first date, he started carrying on about seeing my face across the altar, but after we were married, he said he couldn't "invalidate" his children. I guess it was OK for our two children to float around unsealed. I was sad at the time, but of course I realize the silliness of it all now.
2. Husband's parents were LDS, but never married in the temple because they saw too much hypocrisy among their temple married friends. They had stopped attending church in the 1970s. When his father died unexpectedly, in 2002 after 55 years of marriage, his mother reactivated. In no time, she scheduled a temple marriage to her deceased husband with her son (my husband) standing in as proxy.
So I had a husband who was temple married to both his ex-wife and his mother (not the intended effect, but that's what happened), but not to me. And, though he was an attorney, he loved to talk about how temple marriage was the only real marriage. I am happily out and very happily remarried, both of my children are happily out of it all with me. I still wonder why I put up with the nonsense and regret that I raised my children in such foolishness.