She had to go into the hospital on Saturday, when the UTI her doctor was treating at home was not improving.

Although my brother was allowed to stay with her in the emergency room, their protocols in the ICU did not allow him to stay with her, and they whisked her away so fast, he didn't get to say goodbye or that he loved her.

They called us early Monday morning to tell us to get in there, that she was about to die, but we missed the first call. Although we got the second call, she died while we were on the road to the hospital.

We sat with her corpse and held her hands, but her body was already cooled from the hypothermia from the sepsis.

I have been numb all week.

Tyson

I am so sorry.

My condolences to you and your family.

Tyson, how terribly sad. So sorry for you and your brother.

Wow. I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you and your brother and any other family are holding up okay.

So very sorry. It’s hard to lose a parent or loved one!

Sincere condolences, Tyson.

Sorry to hear that Tyson. My condolences.

You have my deepest sympathies. Always tough to lose one's mom and especially now.

I'm very sorry, Tyson. Be extra kind to yourself right now. Give yourself a mental pat on the back for whatever small things you are able to accomplish during the day. The first few weeks are the toughest.

Ouch and so sad about how rough and inhumane the death process was for your mother and her family. Even under ideal circumstance you mother passing would be difficult enough but this is so painful.

Oh Ty. It's been such a hard year for you. I hope you are able to get some peace and quiet soon. There just isn't a way to prepare even when you know things are not going well. I am so glad you two have had each other.

{HUGZ}

I am so sorry, Tyson.

I wish that you and your brother had had the chance to say good-bye.

My condolences go out to both of you.

:( at the news Tyson. Ugmphh ~(0°. How quickly loved ones go sometimes. Sad to hear about your dear mother. I wish you the tranquility and rest you need. Condolences to your family.

Take good care of yourself~
Drink lots of water. Exercise-
Get plenty of good sleep!
Fresh Air. Walks. Long...

Such sad news. Wishing you peace.

I am sorry for your loss Tyson. These seem to be difficult times.

Oh dear. That's got to be excruciating. I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your dear mother. Peace to you and your family.

I'm so very sorry for your loss Tyson.

So sorry to hear about your loss; my condolences to you and your family.

Very sorry to hear of this, Tyson. Condolences from across the Atlantic.

I’m so sorry

When we lose a loved one, especially a parent, it's as if our own body were brutalized.

Lie down a lot, get lots of rest, eat comfort foods and let the shower pound on your back as long as you want.

Please take very, very good care of yourself.

So sorry Tyson. It is very agonizing when a mother dies. The worst kind of sorrow. Over time the pain will lessen...

I'm so sorry too, Tyson. The loss is immense. Not getting to say goodbye adds greatly to the pain.

Take care of yourself and know our thoughts are with you.

You've had so many losses recently.

My parents both died alone. I have 2 disabled brothers and I believe my parents left so there wouldn't be issues for my brothers. My older one found my mom and the younger one found my dad after they had died. My parents died 2 months apart 13 years ago.

This is HUGE, so take care of yourself. Take time to grieve. My therapist told me to set time aside during the day every day to grieve even if it is 15 minutes, just to focus on it. It helped me. For me, the grief has never ended. It is just different.

cl2notloggedin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Take time to grieve. My therapist told me to set time aside during the day every day to grieve even if it is 15 minutes, just to focus on it. It helped me.
> For me, the grief has never ended. It is just different.

This is helpful, cl2. Thank you.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/30/2022 03:24PM by Nightingale.

I'm sorry, Tyson.

I've spent the week trying to grieve while faced being the factotum for my family. No one has proposed any material for the eulogy I have to deliver later this morning. No one helped to put together the video tribute that will run at my mother's viewing.

If anything, I've had nothing but complaints:

- about reaching people through mutual relatives rather than calling them directly
- about requesting that random people whom my mother didn't know not attend
- about not putting pictures of relatives in the video, when good pictures of them with my mother don't exist
- about not streaming the event
- about not having mass cards, programs, etc.
- about not hosting a reception to feed the hordes on my mother's side of the family
- about not choosing a less cold/icy/snowy day than tomorrow

And countless petty others.


I very likely will snap people's heads off tomorrow, if a single one of them complains to my face, because frankly I've just had it with our relatives and my mother's friends.


Back to trying to write a eulogy....

Tyson

I'm sure you'll do a wonderful job on the eulogy, Ty. It's too bad they don't respect what a difficult time this is for you. Even they should realize you can choose the menu but you don't control the weather. Hope the day works out as well for you as possible Tyson.

All of those "About"s you mention above are actually to your credit, Tyson.

You know what Ty? FUCK THEM. Fuck them and the trike they rode in on. It's not about THEM. They should be doing everything and anything possible to help you. Even thinking about a reception is SELFISH plus just plain stupid. Yeah, great idea. Let's celebrate Mom with a super spreader event. Mass cards? Programs? Really? Who ever brought that up needs to go clean your bathroom. And bitching about the pictures? Again, it is not about THEM.

I will be there with you dear. And if anyone gets in your face and complains you tell them - "Hey, you know what? My friend Susan says FUCK YOU."

PS I am very proud of you. {Hedgie Hugz}



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2022 05:18AM by Susan I/S.

He can say it in French and a bunch of other languages too Tom :)

Susan . . . Ya gotta love her! :D

Yeah, I have been seriously going crazy with keeping everything on keel. I mean, this is like low level lessons on petty selfishness, along the lines of "The Little Red Hen" that these people seem to have completely missed.

And I've already decided I would curse them out. I don't give a damn what they think. They weren't there for us. Screw them.

Tyson

It probably is exhausting to give a loved one the tribute they would love. It seems even sadder than not saying goodbye. All my loving kindness your way. Hope the end of this year is brighter than this cruel winter.

I hope all went well (as much as it could) for you today.

Oh… peace and comfort be with you…. What a tough situation you’ve been in.