Posted by:
Tyson Dunn
(
)
Date: April 21, 2022 04:29PM
For those you who have mourned parents, I was wondering how you dealt with the day-to-day.
It's been almost three months since I lost my mother. I've been unmotivated and yet stupidly busy at the same time. Concentration at work is very hard. I don't enjoy many of the things I liked before.
I find moments every day where I don't quite hyperventilate, but it feels really similar, when I get lost in thoughts about missing her. And it's not just about her. I also lost my in-laws and my father all since mid-2019.
But mom had been sick for so long, and in the end, I didn't get to say goodbye. All the times before that when I said goodbye and hugged her, knowing that they could be our last, don't feel like they make up for not being able to be with her when she finally died.
I've been looking for a grief counselor locally, but I don't like many of their educational backgrounds. For so many of them, it's a second career, and I feel like it was a roll of the bones that they didn't become yoga instructors or real estate agents instead.
I admit I am an intellectual snob on this front. I once went to a therapist when I was having panic attacks after 9/11. He was a nice caring man, but I hated the fact that he stated that he learned new words from me at each visit. I'm sure he thought it was a compliment, but it made me question his competence.
So I'm having a hard time even finding someone who might be intellectually compatible as a baseline, let alone trusting them or their specific methodologies.
I'm open to advice on how to proceed. I miss my mom, and I know that isn't going to change, but I want to honor her memory and still be productive to the degree that that's possible at the same time.
Tyson