I didnt think I'd have any after effects as a result of leaving, mainly because I never felt right about being all in and had issue with the creepy general authorities (cough, cough Oaks). Well, guess what ?

Here I am feeling super embarrassed! I told my husband to never tell anyone I was a member!

I guess it's kind of like..WHAT was wrong with me psychologically that I even felt the need to join?

Did anyone else go through this?

That's natural. Once you can see it for what it is from the outside, it seems really silly.

You are an explorer? Someone who is open to something new? Trying new things? Nothing wrong with that at all. You got the important part right in not losing your objectivity and not throwing good money after bad which is what a lot of Mormons do who know the truth.

I's say you are impressive.

Years from now, what you went through, if phrased right, can make fascinating cocktail conversation if you've got good timing.

Wbat I'm wondering is--exactly how relieved is your husband?

Done & Done Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You are an explorer? Someone who is open to
> something new? Trying new things? Nothing wrong
> with that at all. You got the important part right
> in not losing your objectivity and not throwing
> good money after bad which is what a lot of
> Mormons do who know the truth.
>
> I's say you are impressive.
>
> Years from now, what you went through, if phrased
> right, can make fascinating cocktail conversation
> if you've got good timing.
>
> Wbat I'm wondering is--exactly how relieved is
> your husband?


I am most definitely an explorer, and this includes spiritually. I guess I'd hoped it would be this perfect community for us..that's why I feel so silly.

My husband, who would attend events with me but was never baptized, is very relieved. He thinks the church is incredibly stupid.

I was always embarrassed by mormonism, especially when I was young and forced to go.

When it does come up in conversation, I mention that I was raised as a mormon....but don't believe any of it and left it many years ago.

That way I can convey that I am no longer foolish. Non-mormons and ex-mormons always relate. It's the mormons I tell that get that look of foolishness.

Me too. I like to say I was raised Mormon with a big eye-roll and laughingly say, "Been there, done that, and Sayonara."

I have started telling people I was reared in a cult. It makes me feel awkward to put it that way, but it's true and it puts everything in the proper perspective.

As you note, Out and About has nothing to be ashamed of. We've all been in her position.

On those rare occasions when religion comes up, I own my past and move on. I sometimes say “I spent most of my life as a very devout Mormon. These days, I’m a born again agnostic.”

It's kind of like the feeling a mark gets when he/she realizes they have not bought the Brooklyn Bridge.

It sounds like you are going to be OK. Advice I give to newly minted ex-Mormons is not to jump into another religion of any kind. It appears you will not going from one cult to another. I certainly have felt foolish for believing Mormonism for so many years. What you have learned and experienced may now help you avoid scams that are not religion based. So there is some benefit in my opinion. Good luck to you.

I liked socializing with the Mennonites but I didn't formally join.

The only reason I was a Mormon was because my mother was a Mormon. If she'd been Catholic, I would have been Catholic.

I, too, have felt foolish for ever joining up with the cult. Being a naive teenager, and not being able to tell a good friend no, got me suckered in. Could never believe in it wholeheartedly, never felt comfortable trying to recruit others, couldn't truly discuss it in a coherent manner if anyone questioned me about it. What a waste of some good years.

Now, I'm so glad to have left it behind. Thankfully it never comes up in conversation. Even if it did, I'd never let on I was ever a member. It was an awfully expensive live and learn lesson for sure.

They don't tell you the whole story when you sign up. You get the bright, shiny, cleaned-up version. And the missionaries often target people who are/were vulnerable for one reason or another. Please don't feel badly. Plenty of people are taken in by it.

Did you ever buy the book who moved my cheese?

We all want it but sometimes it smells so bad when we get it that we are embarrassed for ever wanting it.

Mormonism is really really stinking cheese and they move it all the time.

Bahaha. Omg the cheese comment made me laugh.

Thx for the responses.

Yeah I felt foolish coming out of Mo-ism. However, what is more foolish, pretending it's all good and following/promoting the church or accepting valid facts and correcting my position or views of life/religion/beliefs?

I feel that making my changes shows my humility and longing to repair the damaged that I may have caused. Sorta like true repentance.

I didn't live in Utah when I was leaving, and had never told neighbors that I was a Mormon. Then moved out of the country, where I'd never run into any. I told my wife when we got married that I had been one, but that she couldn't tell anyone. I don't want people thinking that I'm a gullible idiot.

I wouldn't have such strong feelings if I didn't hear co-workers etc. talking about Mormons in such disparaging ways. If they don't think that there is anyone linked to Mormons within earshot, they unload. And contrary to what was claimed in conference talks, people aren't impressed with Mormons. They think that they are all wacky idiots. They might act respectful if they know there is one in their midst. But when they think it is safe, they really say what they think.

So I just keep it a secret that I had ever been one.

Ha. I know so many Mormons who think the rest of the world is sooooo impressed with them. They think people sense something special about them that they can't put their finger on and are in awe of.

Oh brother!

I have felt foolish and taken advantage of by the cult but not embarrassed to talk about it. In fact, I make a point to mention my spiritual beliefs to others(I'm an atheist now) and give a brief history lesson, slipping in that I was in the Mormon cult.

Not every religion is a cult but I want to make sure that nobody mainstream mistakes the LDS for anything less. I often make comparisons calling it JW and Scientology -lite. Because it is very similar in corporate flavour and those two are more openly recognized as cults.

What happened to me was not simple Christian indoctrination. My faith crisis wasn't a simple revocation of god or spirituality. I was brainwashed from a very young age and lived a repressive adult life. My shelf breaking was a traumatic event and I had to go through my healing alone and silent or risk being ostracized by those still around me. It's a cult. And I want everyone to know them for what they are and not downplay it. Those "nice Mormons" are victims and predators just like I was. I have nothing to be embarrassed about when talking to other people about it.