Done & Done
Date: January 31, 2023 01:19PM
The Mormon church provides introverts with the opposite of what we need as they require all things superficial regarding thought and relationships.
I basically am an equal opportunity bigot. I don't like anybody on the planet until they make me like them. Quite a few have but it's not an easy thing for them to accomplish. But, man, I have a few treasures for friends now. And not one of them is like the other.
I remember the sixties the "Up With People" tour came to our high school a singin' and a dancin' and stage smiles galore with their I Love Everybody message and even then I thought it was so lame. Played well to the all Mormon school though.
Love thy neighbor? Make me. People who need people can stay away from me.
Just before I lost my testimony I walked out of a Sacrament meeting as the bishop used the word "remiss" because I just could not take the dull, repetitious, mind-numbing, insincere, inanity for another second. Pushing through the doors back out into the sunshine was heaven. I drove around by myself for a whole Sunday shouting all the cliche sayings Mormons are always using. I was just sick of it. Testimony was still basically intact, but I had reached a point where I didn't give a damn even it was true. If I had to have a god I wanted to find an upgrade.
Silence is Golden
Date: January 31, 2023 01:31PM
You triggered a memory for me.
I was sitting in Sacrament meeting, and of course it was moving along just like any other in its boring repetition.
Then the speaker said something that was completely not church doctrine, but his own. What it was I cannot remember, but I sat up straight and began to look about. There were about 300 people in the chapel, and they all sat there with blank faces or were asleep. I looked at the stand, not one member of the bishopric gave any indication that they heard the same thing I did.
I realized at that moment, nobody was involved, nobody was listening, and they were just robots following programming. I brought the subject up to several people after the meeting, and they all had that glazed look and said they had no idea what I was talking about. Even though I pointed out the error of what was said, they just brushed it off, and said they were sure the speaker did not mean it that way.
That was one of many events that made me rethink everything I thought I knew about the church. And it was a clear indicator of just how it crushed individuality.
Date: January 31, 2023 04:42PM
D&D, I may have told this story before but it seems germane.
A long time ago I attended a small invitation-only conference. Most of the participants were liberal American graduate students or young professionals working in international affairs. The topic in one session was whether there were things that could be done to improve relationships between countries generally, and the consensus was that the answer was increasing interaction between different peoples through exchange programs, etc.
At that point a friend and fellow cynic leaned over to me and whispered that all US college students should be required to spend at least a year in a developing country. I giggled, implicitly agreeing that American youth are naively optimistic about these things and don't know how power works in the broader world.
Then an old man with an unparalleled reputation in modern history and international relations took the floor and asked, "what makes you so sure that if people interacted more they'd like each other?" The audience laughed at the quaint old man, who was obviously past his prime, and his antiquated Cold War views.
Much time has passed since that conference, and in the last few years two of the optimistic people have confided to me that they have learned the old man was right. People from different cultures and with different interests and priorities do not naturally like each other. Often increased contact results in increased conflict. Rather than assuming mutual amity, therefore, it's better to start with low expectations and build from there.
That sounds like the international version of what you describe on a personal level.
Date: January 31, 2023 03:29PM
I feel the same way as all you guys.
Hubby and I have as many friends as you can count on one hand, and we like it that way. The only ones that I really enjoy being with are our kids and grand kids.
Once in a while, we run into a former” ward friend” and they always say: “We really miss you”. Well, if that is true, you know where we live, we know where you live and the more time and space between us, the better.
I love animals; and I’m kinda like a bison; I have a personal space of about 500 miles in diameter