I'm wondering....

I want to resign, but have a status of disfellowshipped. Does anyone have a compelling reason to resign on full (sic fool)-fellowship?

I hate there would be a record probably more easily accessed by the busybodies of the church if I don't resign without the disfellowshipped flag on my record. This feels like Scientology with the info they have on me from the "court of love".

Is resigning with one status better than the other? (Tithing would be a consideration, but that would just be a tell them what they want to hear and I'm paying SLC directly so locals can mind their business there.)

This is a game you cannot win. As long as you care what Mormons think of you they have a big lead.

Take a note from the lyrics . . . "I am what I am and what I am has no excuses. I deal my own hand, sometimes it's aces sometimes it's deuces . . ." And that's okay.

When you leave and don't care what anyone thinks, then, you win.

Look for respect elsewhere. Plenty of real people out there that will be impressed by how much you don't need to impress anyone but yourself.

They did us. All our neighbors are mormon. I don't have much to do with people I knew in high school.

Actually, I wear my status with pride. I am an apostate, adulteress. When I went to a cousin picnic during COVID, Four of the guy cousins just couldn't stop talking to me as I was a sweet little mormon girl. They were shocked when they found out I was still married, but in a long-term relationship with an old boyfriend. Three of them had been wild, etc., and two still are. The other one, after six marriages, got sealed in the temple at age 62. Had to get married the first time in high school so very long ago. He is only 10 years younger than my dad and my dad would be 90 this year.

I am so glad to be out of mormonism. I love shocking the neighbors. In fact, my daughter TBM does the same thing. She starts her talks with "my dad has a boyfriend and my mom has a boyfriend." I'm the one who is free.

But I understand why many feel the need to resign from such a terrible organization.

20 years ago the church sent missionary elders to rescue me, the cowards who told me to count my blessings didn't dare come to my burned out home. So funny that I told them that I could worship how my conscience dictated~ funny where did I hear/learn that?

And here comes along Nelson with his cornerstone program of worshipping from home and COVID related shut downs.

I don't care what they think or do. It took me 30 years to realize that none of my actions were ever going to be good enough for the rotten church. When you no longer give a damn about what the church thinks about you, you won the game!

Resigning ends your membership. It does not get rid of past records. Your records will not be available in your local ward after you resign, but they will be in the church’s central record repository for as long as LDS Inc exists, and they will always reflect that you were once disfellowshipped.

The only way I can see that resigning while disfellowshipped could make any possible difference is if you decided to rejoin the church. Even then, they’d probably be so tickled to get somebody back that it would make no difference.

If you are worried people will think you resigned because of some sin, hell, they’re going to think that anyway, even if you are in full fellowship. In their world, there is no acceptable reason for resigning. It is always because you are under the control of Satan in one form or another.

I wouldn’t worry about it.

If the record is not available to any local ward or stake ID10T in charge then that might be good enough to not worry about it. My concern is perhaps some future family yahoo getting in a leadership gig and looking up what old Cheezus' issues were that clearly caused his faith loss and wanting to come talk to me about my past mistakes. SOme leaders just cannot mind their own business. I somewhat care what the fools think. Insomuch as it is none of their business. That is probably some of the scientology dilemma - at least in my mind.

I agree with BoJ. Your resignation goes into an electronic file somewhere at church HQ, likely to never be accessed again. I wouldn't worry about it.

I would go ahead and resign. Resigning from the Mormon church is all about taking your power back. It's telling a boss, "I quit" as opposed to being fired. It's picking up your ball when you are being bullied, saying that you are finished, and going home. It's refusing to participate when others are being cruel to you. It's choosing your own path as opposed to a path that has been determined for you. Nothing wrong with it, nothing at all.

These people who pretend to speak for God will tell you that all of your blessings and ordinances will be cancelled -- as if they have any say in that. They are just mere human beings who are bloviating. They don't know anything more than you do. In fact, they probably know a whole lot less than you do. Why give them any power over you?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/13/2023 04:49PM by summer.

>> best status with which to resign? <<

Non-believer.

    It's my opinion that church leadership never heard from ghawd regarding what to do about a member's attempt to resign.  From what they consider to be ghawd's perspective, there is no such thing as 'resignation' once you're a member.  Their ghawd has never mentioned 'resignation' so it doesn't exist; you're in until ghawd's servants tell you that you've sinned sufficiently, lacked repentence, and so you must be expelled.  From ghawd's supposed perspective, that's the only way out.

    The fact that a state supreme court affirmed a personal injury lawsuit regarding a religion's requirement to not "do" anything to a member once that member announces his/her resignation is seen by mormonism as a way to take money from them, and since they don't like that, they 'obey' the court's decision.

    I think it's pretty obvious that in mormonism's eyes, you're a member until THEY say you're not, and a letter of resignation only changes how they treat you outwardly; they still count you, because ghawd has never told them not to.

    Then there's the practicality of taking action against them if they 'trespass' the limits set by that court decision, which limits consist of not causing undue damage to the person or the person's reputation in the community.

    A classic example, in exmo lore, is getting notice of a Court of Love, showing up at the meeting, telling them off, and then pulling out your signed Resignation so that you get the last word, then walking out, supposedly leaving them powerless to try to hurt you, lest you smite them with a lawsuit...

    People, it's mormonism; they will still smite you with their gossip, it just won't be 'official'...

    And even if after you hand over your Resignation letter, what are your damages if, after you walk out, they go ahead and quietly excommunicate you?  What's the 'injury' that requires the church to pay you money for doing that?

    It's pretty much always the case in two-party disputes that each side wants the last word, and if your friends or relatives come to you with tales regarding the gossip at ward council and in the foyer about you, and it's TRUE, what are your chances of making a monetary recovery via a lawsuit?

    Yes, I grant you that a set of circumstances can be constructed whereby a former member can be 'damaged' by church-sponsored retribution such that a jury can be convinced that "but for" official church action, the plaintiff's business reputation would not have been damaged and his income slashed, but that would take a brave jury if it was in certain parts of the morridor.

    How we each handle our disengagement with the church can be as public or as private as we each decide...at least until the Second Coming, when we might have to fill out forms and check the appropriate boxes for the Neighborhood Watch angels.

    Personally, I'm a mormon who doesn't believe in ghawd, nor in many of the religious practices of mormonism that, in my opinion, go against common sense and good taste.  My brand of mormonism would play coed volleyball in the cultural hall twice a week, fishing trips once a month, and golf outings once a week...  All in favor signify by raising the right arm.  No, Gladys, your other right arm, dear!

I was going to say the best status from which to resign is that of "member." But then I realized that at least one of us resigned long ago and yet is still a member and probably always will be.

There is no escape, I guess. . .