I turn 30 this fall and I'm extremely depressed about it. My youth is gone. I haven't been in good mental or physical health during my 20s. I'm middle aged with no career, no partner, nothing.

But today someone told me that she would've guessed I was 23 or so. I was shocked. Does this mean other people don't see me as old?

I guess I feel a bit better.

The 30 yr mark is where the need to go gluten and sugar free (completely) arises in a select few.

Your nutrition is lacking.

A great doctor can use feeding tube and prepared nutrition but that is radical.

Just take canned baby formula concentrate for a day for the "proof of concept" to try and gain more clues.

Best of luck.

Or, have some cake and enjoy life! It's worked for me for 70 years!

I noticed birthdays that mark a new decade made me feel old. At 30, I started to feel just like you expressed. At 40 the same thing happened. At 50, I was working and too busy to complain about my new aches and pains. At 60, I mostly felt frustrated at how quickly time has flow by. At 70, I'm coming to terms with coming to the end of the road. I've been lucky so far. I feel lucky I got to live as long as I have.

Don't be discouraged. There is nothing you are supposed to accomplish really. You will not be the same person at 50 you are at 30. Enjoy the ride. There is really no other alternative.

Happy birthday this fall!

... I got nothin' ... 

Things aren't that bad, Jesus. You'll always have your accordion.

Give EOD a cup and a monkey and he's set for a third career. Although his second career as a smartass is going extremely well, not super lucrative.


HH =)

Just so, HH! We need to get EOD a job, ideally something that is more remunerative than banging out license plates.

And yes, I think capitalizing on his musical skills and simian sensibilities is a great idea. It's always been clear that he was meant for a career in show business, and you've identified a promising niche!

Now what are we going to do about agency fees?

You should get in shape and prepare for a decathlon.

SNL Parody

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxCUHjx7U7Y&ab_channel=SaturdayNightLive

Watch General Conference if you want to see what 'old' looks like.

30 isn't exactly "middle age." That's generally 40 - 60. You're young. Sounds like you need to make some lifestyle changes.

Start eating healthier and exercising if you don't already.

Get some education/ skills that will get you a good job/ career.

You're going to feel depressed about aging if you have no plan and aren't doing anything to prepare for it.

Being perceived as old is the least thing to worry about. Not having worked toward being able to have resources when you are old is.

>> Being perceived as old is the least thing to worry about. Not having worked toward being able to have resources when you are old is.

That is the truth. In my mid-60s, I'm grateful that I will be able to retire when I want to. I will have my pension, a decent Social Security check, some savings, and a paid-off home. My body is starting to tell me that I'm reaching the end of the road with regard to my job. My mind is telling me that, too. I felt twinges of that during the last school year, but the feeling is growing stronger this year. At a certain point, that little voice in my head will grow very insistent.

I have friends who will not be able to retire. They didn't have a plan, or their plan went awry. I feel for them.

@Summer,

Good post, I have a saying that I repeat to all young people.

"Getting old sucks, being poor and old, really sucks"

Age has nothing to do with having a good life.
Accomplishment has everything to do with it.


Your friends are fun because of who they are--interesting, fun, supportive-- not because of how old they are. You are fun to be around not because of how old you are but because of your personality. I know a ton of young looking people who bore me to tears. Ever be stuck with people talking about weight loss, botox, and fillers?

What I like in friends of any age is a little George Carlin.

And . . .If you want a smoking hot body---try cremation. Old joke but still a good one.


I had a great life every single decade. My seventies are the best yet. There is more wrinkles on my body but there is more good stuff in my head.

People are like good wine. You can age well, or, not. Your choice.

30 is a great age. You are in control, not your environment. Start a long term plan and stick to the path.

Never give up!!

I have set aside the things I can no longer do at the age of 65 and do not dwell on what was, and adjust to what is and what can be done. At the age of 55 I spent 2 years building my final home (literally) just the way I wanted it done. So you are only old if you convince yourself that you are old. There-in lies the difference, you will only achieve that which you choose to achieve. Effort takes years in some instances and days in others, so back to the same theme. Stick to the plan, success will follow through determination and effort.

The 20s are over-rated, and are a time of angst for many. If you want to develop a career, now is a great time to do that. I went back to school at age 34 to begin my career in education. You have the time to do that, but I would get on it.

As for no partner, try the dating apps. I know lots of people of all ages who use them.

Life is too short to drink sour wine. Focus on the positive and have fun. Being negative accomplishes nothing. Focus on the positive and you will feel much better.

I found myself on RfM in my 40s. Some of the best years of my life happened in my 40s, 50s, and 60s. I'm not in perfect shape, but I still work part time because I choose to as I have enjoyed my job for how many years now? I was 29 when I started doing what I do and I changed jobs several times.

I do all the yard work and the housework. I walked my dogs everyday until they passed away in the past 6 months, but I got a new dog and he is much more difficult to walk, but I'm trying. He's bigger and much naughtier.

There is so much to look forward to. I can't say I'd love to be 30 again as there are a lot of things I don't want to repeat, but you are SO YOUNG. You have no idea.

Good for you! What kind of naughty dog do you have now?

  
  

I stepped right into that one. I didn't even bring a dog poop bag to this thread.

Check with Gladys; how she follows me around gives me peace of mind...

<Cue the sad accordion music>

Edog---- you nailed it again.

I was almost starting to reply to Locke(), saying that his problems sound very much like jasonsnakelover.

Jasonsnakelover is a painful commentator on the Ripley's Believe It or Not comic strip. He's a real card, most that respond to his comments are almost all negative.

Glad we have you Edog, you're heaven sent.

I adopted him a month ago and it has been crazy ever since. He was on a list to be euthanized on 9/26. I'm not sure how things will go. He is still crazy as he can be. He likes to herd and he likes to jump on all of us. I've dealt with a dog who jumps on you before. My boyfriend's German Shepherd read me really well and it took a while to get her to stop jumping on me.

It's been a wild and crazy month. He's good in the car and at night. He's only a year old. He is difficult on a leash, but I'll get there.

I always have smaller dogs. I wasn't really ready for a new dog or dogs as my second one died July 27. But I saw that list of 15 dogs who needed adoption and I went for it. (It only took me 2-1/2 hours in Ogden to find the shelter as it is tucked away.)

He's wandering around me as I type this. He likes to wander around me when I'm working and likes to go under my desk.

This has been crazy.

Wow, you are going to have a busy little buddy. You're a good person for adopting him. I hear that kind of dog is very smart and loyal. I'm sure he will learn fast and be a good watchdog and friend. Now you just need lots of energy to run around with him!

I'm terrible at training dogs because I'm such a softie. I only get smaller dogs that I can physically pick up if they get too crazy.

setting limits or training, so this will be an experience I have no doubt. It already is. All my dogs have been small. Largest was a Cocker Spaniel and he was a sweetie, so no problem there.

This one can get food off the counter almost from one side to the other. We have to watch carefully. He has been trained as he knows commands, but he doesn't always follow those commands. He chews on a lot of things and tears them apart. I hate to admit I'm going to have to find a way to keep him out of some parts of the back yard as he has been working on damaging it. It is going to be "fun." If I walk him more, maybe it will wear him out. He is kennel trained I can tell and I got a bigger kennel than I had.

I thought he'd be smaller as he only weighs 32 pounds per them--but he is LONG and he can stand on the back of his legs and reach my shoulders with his arms--and I'm 5 feet 11 inches.

He gets worse when my ex and my son and I are all in the room.

But I'll just keep working at it. He'll run all over me, but oh well. He has hid all the balls I've gotten him. I thinks he thinks I'm going to give him more. When the winter snow melts, I'll probably them in the ground cover.

After pi**ing away my teens and twenties, I figured my life sucked and I drank too much, and the one caused the other and vice-versa. So I went into recovery.

Nothing changed right away, but over the next decade I started the first of two careers, found a wife, started a family (4 responsible adults now,27-35), and found God. Or God found me. Whatever.(Tip of the hat to Dagny on that one, "At 70, I'm coming to terms with coming to the end of the road.")

And for D&D ("My seventies are the best yet"), amen, brother! I bought a bad-ass truck at 75 and have had a blast with it, from New England rock trails to Moab and western Utah. I'm thinking of getting a custom cover for my spare tire, "Don't ask me to act my age--I've never been this old before!"

Hope these posts are an encouragement, Locke: You got a lot of living ahead!

I worried about getting old when I was your age. I turned 75 this summer and all that worry was sure a waste of time. Enjoy life. Every day is a gift.

I love the bonuses of growing old that the oldsters don't tell you about because they worry about how envy and petty jealousy might ruin their relationships with the younger generations.

I'm not going to list these bonuses so as not to suffer the slings and arrows of outraged unfortunate young people ...

I think people might already know about your senior discount at Dennys, EOD.

Oh, we have a winner!

and then he takes his 26 year old boyfriend out to dinner and they split the dinner. He's very cheap.

Lethbridge, that is ridiculous that you have to pay for the passengers.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2023 11:28PM by cl2.

My Parks Canada seniors pass only applies to me...pisses me off I have to pay extra for my passenger(s)!

I understand your pain. As Canadian taxpayers, you'd think that would be our park pass, but nope. Goobermints are created to only screw the hell out of us and shake us by our ankles to get every penny they can.

Wait until you hear what corporations and religions are doing too.

Between the three of them, they seem to be in a competition to see who can get money from you the fastest. ;-)

And then there are the scammers! They have doubled down in their efforts to part honest people from their money.

Yup. Took my girlfriend to Waterton for an anniversary dinner and it cost $9 for her day pass. Friggin pirates!

30 isn't old, it's just starting out. People with MD degrees finish residency in their very late 20's or older, Scientists, people who go back to school after working a few years after college, people building up their careers in trades or anything else, most are still on the first floor at 30. Some people don't even know what direction their going in at 30. Your thirties = time to figure yourself out and get on some kind of career ladder, whatever your passion is.

Find ways to work around your health issues so that whatever muscles or stamina that needs to be strengthened keeps you going in your 40's+

You're not old. As the saying goes, it's never too late to be what you might have been.

I graduated from the Y @ 30 with an undergraduate. Then I did a masters and phd in another university. I finished a postdoc @ 45. My best publications were at 50. Now I'm working on some other publications taking advantage of all the experience I've acquired over the decades. During all that, I always went to the gym and learned something new. I did get depressed about age at some point; however my goals in life dwarfed my worries. I'm happy single and working on my passion and goals. Even if I do not reach them, the journey is the destination.

For example, I got a position teaching at one of the best US universities; it took years to get it. When I got the position, it was boring. I realized that the journey (those years persevering for that position) was the greatest thing; the destination was boring. So I quit. Now I'm unemployed but working on my passion and happy as ever.

My advice: get a passion, work towards a goal like making this world a better place. Your life will be meaningful and opportunities will come up.

Listen to Les Brown, Eric Taylor, Motiversity, Joel Osteen, Malcolm Gladwell.

I turned 90 last month, and I accept my limitations. I accepted each step in my aging process and did things that were appropriate for that age. When I was 35 I went to night school four nights a week and earned an advanced degree that enabled me to try a different profession. Now I am physically very limited and I can no longer do many things that I used to do. So I do the few things that I CAN do: write, read, watch movies on tubitv.com ( I use uBlock to skip the ads) and follow a couple of internet forums. I am housebound but remain in good spirits. I guess I live by the "Serenity Prayer": "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Good for you. Yours sounds like a life well lived!

At 90, another useful activity to keep the brain active is to memorize things - poetry, speeches ("Gettysburg Address," Patrick Henry's "Give me Liberty," Mark Antony's "Lend me your ears") et al., capitals of all 50 US states, the table of elements, whatever...

I’m 68 and you couldn’t pay me enough to go back to my 30’s.
Enjoy the ride…it goes by really fast the older you get.

I know I am fortunate. I turn 72 in November. I founded this site.

Exercise with free weights at least 3x/week.
Have things you enjoy doing in life. Hobbies for example.
Do well at your occupation or business, but don't go crazy with the hours.

This was a busy week+ for me in retirement from engineering:

Sun Afternoon: Played at a market jazz band - tenor sax
Tues Evening: Dress rehearsal for a university performance - bass clarinet
Weds Evening: Concert at university - bass clarinet
Sat afternoon: Played saxophone, clarinet and flute for 2.5 hours at a mountain top market. German music
Sat evening: Filled in with a jazz group for 2.5 hours playing tenor only
Mon morning: Played clarinet duets with a former member of the New York Philharmonic

In between performances and rehearsals was busy installing a new walk in shower.

Life slows down only if you let it assuming your health allows. Again exercise is vital.
I could not be as active if I had not exercised regularly for the past 25+ years.

Getting older is tough. You have to plan so it can be as good as possible.

Somehow I thought that elderolddog would write something about how sex gets better the older you get. From being a virgin at BYU to being retired with countess females to date.

I believe that age is often a state of mind rather than a state of body. Negative age beliefs age the body faster. Think and act like you are young!

I'm past 60, and I enjoy my life. I work around several young people, and they are always complaining about their age, even as the oldest ones are more than 15 years younger than I am.

I don't mind being older. Actually, I like it. No longer am I making as many stupid and embarrassing mistakes like I did when I was younger. I'm thankful that I got to live this long, and if the world blows up in nuclear war tomorrow, I would consider that I got a good deal. Considering how long people have lived in the past, and how long they live elsewhere in the world.

I think the real bliss in life is getting rid of religion. The sooner, the better. But also, don't waste time going too far the other direction and having all these bitter feelings about the religious people who misled you. There are actually a lot of good things about religion, but the people who understand its goodness the least are almost always the ones the claim to practice it. It doesn't surprise me at all that Jesus picked "lost" people to be his disciples.
Also, get rid of drain people.
I'm not sure why I see growing older in the exact opposite way so many others do. Good luck!

> I don't mind being older.
> Actually, I like it.  No
> longer am I making as many
> stupid and embarrassing
> mistakes like I did when I
> was younger.


Admitting truths is tough, sometimes.  But then living with them is easier if you're not busy denying them.

I still make a lot of mistakes, but I plain just don't give a rat's ass anymore.  

I used to wonder how my otherwise very dapper dad could, after retirement, wear stripes with plaids...  Now I know!  F'em if they can't take a joke!

That, too. I guess I don't care as much often because I don't have to care. At my age, I have a pension and a lot of stuff finally paid off (car, house). Had a-hole at work hassling me—I called the boss and threatened to quit if he didn't stop and the boss made him stop. I would not have played chicken with my job if I was younger and really, really needed that check.


I used to charge up credit cards; now I have them paid off and I'm not charging them up again. Stuff like that. Also, more careful about joining cults!!! I learned from my mistakes, and from a few crazy women. Found a good one by using the scientific method to reject bad traits I didn't understand when I was younger. I finally know what works and what doesn't work so marital bliss now.

And feed it every paycheck. More than a few times I've read people's bemoaning the money they put into tithing for decades. Well, take that 10% and invest it. $6500, fed with $541.67 each month (or $125/week/paycheck), growing at a modest 8.5% annually, will yield $2,337,355 after 40 years.

Another thought: Mentally imagine yourself ten years from now. You're "40." At this mid-life point, what do you think your future self will wish he had done? Wish he hadn't done?

Getting old happens. Getting old and poor doesn't have to happen.

https://cms.thebronconation.com/attachments/393454110_861732825309027_1369751686821343601_n-jpg-t.73092/?hash=-hjFhFOL8o_ROQuV6arOs6v72hBktnKB

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

FYI, 30 is not "old."

I am 70, which to someone like you must seen impossibly ancient.

I do not miss my "youth," since when I was "young," I was depressed, anxious and in bad health since I didn't take care of myself.

So don't beat yourself up because you are not young. Start tackling your problems starting with finding a career you can enjoy which will also make you some money.

If you are successful and in good shape, the women will find you. You won't have to go chasing them.

You are not old. Stop thinking of yourself that way.

Start planning on how you can live your best live, and start taking steps to make that happen.

And to be very blunt, stop whining. No one likes a whiner.

Especially a young whiner.

I should have mentioned -- I started my career as a court reporter when I was 45 years old. That's 15 years older than you are right now. 45.

I thought I was too old to start a new career. I was wrong.

I am now 70, still working.

When I was 45 I never in a million years thought I would still be working at age 70.

Wrong again.

30 is not too old for anything. You are still wet behind the ears as it were.

So how old is "old"?

My favorite answer comes from Jack LaLanne, my go-to aging guru.


"Old" is 20 years older than you are right now.

So if you are 10, 30 is old. If you are 30, 50 is old. If you are 70, 90 is old.

Stop worrying about things that don't matter, and that you can't do anything about.

How old would you THINK you were if you didn't know how old you were?

Are you making ever slight increases in progress toward the ten or so years of unwanted depression you would like to escape from?

I was pretty stressed about being 30, I hear you.

Now I’m in my 60s.

I relatively recently learnt human brains don’t even fully develop until we’re 25.

Our 20s are kind of the beginning, where we start to figure life out.

Then it gets better. I’m happier now than ever. I know me, I like me, life is good… and if life ever isn’t good I know I can handle it.

At 30, life is just beginning.

I hope everyone’s comments have helped.

xo

Thirty isn't middle aged. You should be having children at that age, or hooking up with someone else to do so. You have the youth but also the experience to do that.

Do not let yourself rot in despair. You've been mired in a society full of such toxic ideas but you do not need to do that.

Good grief.

Everyone doesn't need to be out there breeding and producing a wad of kids. It's not a requirement for cripes sakes.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2023 02:13PM by Soft Machine.

The horror. I had a baby at 54.

Consider the alternative to growing old…

My daughter is 41 years old and last weekend she swam 19.6 km around Coronado Island (technically it's considered a "tied island" which is connected to the mainland by a sandy isthmus).

You are not old at 30! Take care of your health - mental and physical and get into life with all your heart, might, mind and strength. Enjoy yourself at any age!

I'm reminded of a quote from Auntie Mame: "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

Don't starve yourself of life's enjoyment. Pig Out!

Best advice I can give you is don't buy stuff. You become attached to your stuff and it becomes an albatross. Save your money and get a clear financial plan. Look for a career that will grow with you. The 30s are great, a time to build and settle in to the person you want to be :)

Good advice.

The three stages of life are:

Wanting stuff
Accumulating stuff
Trying to get rid of stuff

I'm in the last stage. I have way too much stuff. I think it is great (old lady) stuff, but my kids don't seem to want it. When I was younger, I never thought about having to get rid of stuff I was attached to. It's not fun. Like they say, "you can't take it with you."

And at some point it is just so overwhelming it is hard to even start. Sigh.