I need someone to explain to me: Why do Mormon women have this bizarre obsession with dating and marrying a returned missionary? It is not just a preference, it seems like a requirement. I get the impression they would seriously reject a guy who is perfect for them in every other way, simply for not having gone on a mission. Do Mormon women think they will go to hell if they marry a Mormon guy who has not served a mission? Or what is behind this supernatural desire to date and marry "RMs"?
They have been taught that their future and value as an individual is in jeopardy if they settle for anyone less than a RM. A young man who has served a mission is more likely to stay active and follow the Mormon church's determined path of marrying in the temple, having a dozen kids and paying tithing to the church's bank account.
Yes, not bagging a RM was ALMOST as bad as a girl going on a mission. It would always follow her and people would wonder what was wrong with her. Because of course, there had to be something...
Mormon women are taught by the church to hold out for an RM. Youth in the church are taught to marry within their religion. The only way for a young Mormon guy to get laid is to get married.
So the way the system (essentially a sex cartel) is set up, there is tremendous pressure on young men to go on a mission.
Some Mormon women may be hot, but they are also heavily brainwashed. Are you sure you want that in a wife? Because she will brainwash your kids into her culty ways. You can prevent such intergenerational brain damage by withholding your seed. Better yet, forget about Mormon women altogether.
If you were raised Christian, you should stick with that. Mormon women are a small subset of Christian women. Religions are like microbrews. Pick one that tastes good and doesn't give you a terrible hangover.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/16/2024 07:52AM by bradley.
All of the above is true, but I think it goes deeper as it is part of a broader issue in society in general.
It's not about the church when you pull the corner of the rug up. They want the "Big Catch". Like marrying a doctor which has always put others in jealous awe. Makes the parents proud and others see you as getting into a prestigious club. It's the church version of social climbing.
After a while the RM isn't enough. You need a bishop. And then an SP if you want to maintain your status. An not just the spouse. The parents need the social standing of having RM sons as well.
He is her ticket for prestige in the church and brownie points in heaven. An RM means he has been to the temple. The church hammers into girls to marry in the temple. An RM shows commitment to the church and presumably more likely a ticket to the CK. If you are going to have babies in the CK forever, you're going to want a nice mansion in the CK!
While the church doesn't discourage women from seeking higher education, the young girls are mindlessly drilled into their skulls that their primary "sacred duty" on planet Earth is to be a mommy over and over. Families send their daughters to BYU to obtain their MRS degree and if they do finish a college degree, that's okay too.
messygoop Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > While the church doesn't discourage women from > seeking higher education, the young girls are > mindlessly drilled into their skulls that their > primary "sacred duty" on planet Earth is to be a > mommy over and over. Families send their daughters > to BYU to obtain their MRS degree and if they do > finish a college degree, that's okay too.
So you're saying that the church effectively discourages women from seeking higher education?
But when you look at it overall, its a cruel thing to do to the young people of the church.
You marry because of a title and\or image of righteousness pounded into your head. In many cases its a road that leads to no where but servitude, poverty, and being trapped.
To quote a line from a movie "Somthing Wicked this way comes."
It's a brilliant system. The church teaches girls not to settle for anything but a RM. In order for boys to date and marry Mormon girls, they must serve a mission. The church uses girls to keep the boys in line.
The funny thing is that the RM title is essentially meaningless even though a lot of young mormon men and women are conditioned to believe that it matters a lot. The are a lot of implied promises that are made to a young man when he goes off to "serve" a mission - but like all of the cult's promises, it's completely empty.
It's been over 30 years now but it still pains me to think of the rude awakening I got when I returned home. Girl of my dreams was most definitely not there waiting for me. Blessings did not just suddenly rain down on me. Nobody really gave a shit that I had served a mission - which was not at all what I had expected. I could speak pretty decent Spanish and had some interesting stories to tell, but was I still socially awkward (mission only made that worse) and did not have any career prospects nor much support to go to school. I came from a family that was on the lower rungs of the Mormon social ladder... and I never realized until much later that these are the things that actually matter when it comes to raising your stock in the dating world. Being good looking, having money, having a bit of charisma and talent, and having some social connections are what really matters - and the Mormon dating world is no different despite anything they say to the contrary.
I think back and realize that there wasn't a Mormon girl on the planet that wouldn't have put out for Steve Young back in the 90s despite his never having gone on a mission. A large number of GAs and local leaders from well connected families never went on missions. It's not about the mission. And I didn't realize until it was much too late that the elite do not play by the same set of rules that that the peons do.
A possible damper on a Mormon girl's enthusiasm to hold out for and insist on an RM mate might be the fact that 40% of missionaries eventually leave the church.
By this, I mean everyone thinks his or her path will be straight, true, and stress-free. If we weren't all optimists at crucial times in our lives, statistics would crush us!
It’s the social engineering of the church. Deprive the men of women for two years and then say go get em! Women are the prize for serving a mission. Go get sealed and make more church members.
and getting married in the temple. It was up to we women to talk them into going on missions and so I did. I sent a missionary out to Boston and then broke up with him about 10 months in. I had my reasons. I was just going to say I dodged a bullet, but wait!!!! Most of you know I married someone gay. But he is a return missionary!!!!!
The last several bishops were/are not RMs. They got married just out of high school. I live in a lower middle class ward so maybe that's why.
It was what we were taught and I passed up a few nonmembers because I was a good little mormon girl. I wasn't supposed to date nonmormons, but a few good mormons I knew said it was okay to do so, but that isn't what we were taught.
My life could have been a whole lot different had I married one of those nonmormons. They all asked me.
Was it Kimball who decreed that "every worthy young man should serve a mission"? He probably was using the young women as the enforcers of that. You were far from being the only young woman to send a young man on a mission and then break up with him, cl2. I have to wonder how many women who were "waiting on a missionary" actually stuck it out.
I showed up at Ricks in September 66 about as naive to Mormon culture as an 18 year old could be. I knew I wasn't going on a mission and learned early on that virtually every girl on campus that wasn't already in a relationship was under orders to find and get engaged to a returned missionary (they arrived in early Oct). And that's pretty much how it played out.
For some young women, it's all they have going for them.
The church really doesn't encourage...
-post hs education -any career which interferes with home duties -life skills that a person would need if your spouse were to run off, divorce or suddenly die -ideas beyond making bread, darning socks and making tik tok videos about supporting your priesthood holder