Local ward was determined to activate me. Each Sunday, men and young men stopped by to offer to do something for me. I thought to myself "I'm going to call them and see what actually happens." Sure enough, not one would actually come. "I don't really want to." I'd hear something similar to that. They assigned a woman as my visiting angel person. She lied about it. Said she was my "friend." Yet, around came the last day of the month. She begs to come by around midnight. I thought something was wrong. Then, I realized "Oh, it's the last day of the month." She has to report her visiting teaching tomorrow. Or, she'd stop by and say, "I just had inspiration that I should stop and see you. You needed something." She'd add that she was just going to visit teach after seeing myself. lol Funny. When I was really down and lonely, no one stopped by. One man actually started to show up a few times. Turned out he was an assigned home teacher. He told me if I didn't start attending church, he'd have nothing to do with me. Did he think that was charming? Suddenly, there is a new bishop. No one stops by. I get the feeling that I'm supposed to be learning my "lesson" now. What lesson? They won't help me anymore? They weren't helping me. It was just manipulative and abusive to be told they wouldn't have anything to do with me if I didn't come to church. But, that's probably the most honest thing they've said.

That pretty well sums it up.

People in general are an acquaintance, not your friend. There is a difference. But when it comes to love bombing, the term "friend" is used often within LDS Corp., and many are unable to differentiate.

I once had a bishop say, "But we are friends." I told him that we were not. But I have to give credit to the one guy who told you if you did not go to church, he was not going to have anything to do with you. Ya gotta respect that kind of honesty.

I think that's very confusing in the church. They literally teach that to "friendship someone' and bring them back to church, is friendship. And then, they just don't get real friendship isn't like that.

    "You don't have to believe in ghawd, nor attend a single church meeting, to be a good mormon."

                    --Elder Olddog, EQP of RfM (self-called)

A self proclaimed EQP? Who are you to wear the mantle of absolute power? The power to mold,shape,or destroy people's worthless little lives at your pleasure!

    I had the necessary humility to recognize how truly awesome my grandiosity is!  The depth of my humility is unfathomable!!

    I'd gone on and on and on, but I was never one to toot-toot, tooty-toot-toot my own horn.

I wonder what I have to do to be a little devil? Now, that's a ponder. Oh, wait! I'm already that! Tee hee.

After I quit attending, a Mormon neighbor wanted to meet for lunch towards the end of nearly every month. Then the bishop or someone changed his assignments.

No more meet for lunch since I'm no longer an assigned friend.

That sort of thing is so rude. Friends with a motive are just fake friends.

I wasn't allowed to be a member of my own family if I didn't attend.

That's how I felt too. And I'm not. I don't consider them family anymore. I've watched their version of living the gospel for years. And it seemed that they could do horrible things and still be considered a true mormon. While, I have done none of those things, and am just treated like dirt. They give me the the stuff about "you won't be sealed to us." I don't want to be. Do they not see this? People who are cruel, unkind and worse to us, we don't want them. We get past it and hopefully over them.

That happened a few times, but after I went inactive and my husband left, they wanted to change my VTs to someone else and I said, NOPE. I said Jean can come, but nobody else. We went to lunch every month. She protected me as the bishop would ask for my unlisted phone number and if her husband said they talked about cl2 in bishopric meeting this week, she'd tell him that is none of their business.

I have neighbors all over that want me to go back. The newer ones just can't stop themselves. The husband is in the bishopric now and it got worse. I refuse to have any ministers. They tried that, too.

Oh, my HTs years ago (a couple) would always come on the last day of the month, too. I get paid with my job with how lines I type and I always end up working the hardest on the last day of the month and they'd call and I finally just quit answering. The lady was furious. The husband was always nice.

We got offers for blessings for all of us a few times in the past few years. I just loved that one.

I know most of these people really well--I've lived here 37 years. Most of them don't bug me about going back. In fact, the bishop at the time I resigned--we know each other well--said, "i'm not going to try to talk you out of this as I've seen some of what you've been through." I knew I could trust him to handle it well.

Just keep distant. You don't want them as friends. Most mormons are not your friends. They have ulterior motives.

I actually just lost a very long-time friend who is mormon.

I think that's wise. Because, if their behaviors aren't hurtful (often are),they are really aggravating.

Most wards have a lot of inactive people on their books and you're just one of them.

Some inactives are pestered to death, and some are left alone. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

I have found its how you are perceived.

I was told by many at church that I had an attitude problem, I was to direct in my answers, I questioned to much, I turned down callings, I would not attend tithing settlement. And finally, if I said No that is exactly what I meant, so I was not submissive.

Mormonism likes to take the path of least resistance. That is how you keep your stats up that are reported to headquarters.

Thus I never get visited or followed up on. On my mission I was the Elder who lacked the spirit.

I think you are right. It's the path of least resistance. If you are kind to them, they won't leave you alone. I've got to just start being less kind and more to the point. So many of them aren't even very nice people when you get to know them. I'm just done with it.

cinnamontoast Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think you are right. It's the path of least
> resistance. If you are kind to them, they won't
> leave you alone. I've got to just start being
> less kind and more to the point. So many of them
> aren't even very nice people when you get to know
> them. I'm just done with it.

And that can be hard to do because it may go against the type of person you are. However, there's a time where anger is justified because Mormons repeatedly violate personal boundaries. Here's one time that I got into it with the elders (missionaries).

My wife and I had just battled ourselves, the grocery store and the last thing we needed were Elder Nosey and Elder Snooper at our front porch. The Goops had stopped attending church after a home fire and we had asked the church leaders for some type of assistance (told to count our blessings and ask our families for help instead). These elders were constantly coming around trying to rescue us.

I like privacy and we have other non members residing with us, like my father-in-law. He was drinking coffee, tea, beer and using snuff. We often bought things for her father and later my wife was reimbursed for his purchases.

Can anyone see where this was going?

The elders spot the WoW contraband in the trunk of our car. We had just returned from grocery shopping. I tell them to step away from my vehicle because I like to carry my own stuff into my house. They refuse and grab the bag with coffee and Lipton tea. I tell them to put the bag back and we begin to have a shouting match.

They are shouting at me for not keeping my covenants and I am yelling back at them to get their F---ing asses off my property. Later I will have a separate incident where I have no choice but to call the sheriff to get their locked bicycles removed from my front fence.

Oh, my land! No boundaries!!!! And their weirdness over coffee and tea. The entire earth have had those for breakfast for thousands of years!!!!!

"He told me if I didn't start attending church, he'd have nothing to do with me."

"They give me the the stuff about 'you won't be sealed to us.'"


Those aren't the power moves mormons imagine them to be. Mormons think they're making threats when they're really offers. The proper response is something along the lines of "Sounds great to me!"

Good response! Sums it up!

Exactly. You can take it a step further;
"I can't stand you assholes now, why would I want to spend eternity with you?"

100% of the time no Mormon ever helped.

I'd get these offers but no action. It was always my fault. From the relatives I'd get "you need to make a bullet point list, you need to be nicer, blah blah blah.

The relief society president asked that I hire a sister to help out which I did. Then I found out she was convicted of elder abuse for withholding food until the house deed was transferred into her name. She was banned for life from all nursing homes.

The church people were always asking me for favors. They especially wanted our wheelchair van for construction projects. I told them that was like asking for his oxygen tank to blow up balloons.

The only bright point was that his visiting teacher often dropped off his wife with dementia for us to look after while the visiting teacher played golf. No warning. We really liked her and she had a lot of adventures hanging out with us. She never wanted to go home with her husband.

Wow! There it is again! The RS president as the HONEST MORMON! She would 'nt happen to be my sister. lol My sister is literally the most evil person that I know. Despite the picture of Jesus in her living room and scripture quotes on facebook. I am just so done with people who wear two faces.