Trying to figure out how best to explain in words what I mean...like seeing someone doing something completely against what a Mormon would do...and having a flash of Mormon judgment? Does that make any sense?

Yes it does! It's ingrained in BICs, and hard to shake off. I sometimes have to take a second and remind myself I'm not that stupid anymore.

And then I slap my forehead.

It's a little better now, but I am an extremely judgemental and harsh person sometimes. The main difference is my outward reaction now; I take the "It's your life and as long as it doesn't affect me" approach.

But if someone is just being a blatant hypocrite, I pour the judgement on, including myself.

But you people afflicted with SSA can be so touchy. Maybe you should pray about it more. :-)

I had something happen last night that was what I thought you were talking about, but after I read the OP, it's the opposite.

Somebody acted like a mormon toward me and it woke up all kinds of hella rage I thought I was over. :>)

I went to my pole class, as I do. I like to pour a shot of something in my water bottle, fill the rest with juice or whatever mixer, and take that to class. I find just a little bit of alcohol helps with the stretch and it also gives me enough liquid courage to try some of the trickier tricksy tricks I'm working on. I'm getting into advanced levels and some tricks are painful and difficult to learn; a little shot of vodka helps. Keep in mind that it's ONE shot; I am still legal to drive home. I do not get hammered in that class because that would be dangerous. It's juuuust enough for me to relax and not overthink the fear part. It takes me the entire hour of sipping to down this drink. (We're talking a weak drink: one shot to about 14 ounces of something else, soda or juice.)

After class, as I was walking out, the owner stopped me and asked me to keep the drinking in class on the down-low. She told me somebody had run to her complaining and being concerned about her liability if I fell. I told her I was sorry she'd been put in the position to have to say something to me, so I'd be more discreet about my in-class drinking in the future. She was cool with that and seemed embarrassed to have said anything, but when her clients complain, she promises she'll handle it. I'm not mad at her; she's just running her business. She doesn't care if I drink in class and neither does the instructor.

There were so many things wrong with that, I couldn't stand it.

1) I signed a release waiving my rights to sue her if I hurt myself poling. Those aren't terribly enforceable in court but if it could be shown that I was drinking, then she'd really not be liable because that would be my negligence on me. Especially if she doesn't know what's in my water bottle.

2) I'm an adult. I know my limitations, both in terms of skill on the pole as well as how much alcohol I can consume before my skills start to fall apart. I can assess risk for myself, thankyouverymuch.

3) I have been poling much much longer than anyone else in my class. I have NEVER fallen and will not fall. Especially not being drunk. One drink ≠ drunk (even for me and I'm tiny). Most of the other women in the class have been there a week or two and have no idea how strong I am or what I can do. They have no way of knowing exactly what's in my water bottle and how much is in there. Nobody else in there has enough information to accurately assess the degree of risk I am taking on myself.

3) Somebody in my pole class thinks it's appropriate to judge and decide for me if I'm taking a risk I shouldn't be taking and she also thinks it's appropriate to go tattletell on me. She thinks she has a right to second-guess the judgment and decision of another adult. It was like a RS president tattling to the bishop because she saw you drinking coffee at Starbucks... and I reacted exactly as if some RS president saw me drinking coffee at Starbucks.

I am still steaming about it. My actions had no effect on anyone else. If I was putting someone else at risk (say, we were doing partner tricks or were supposed to spot each other), then I could see voicing a concern... directly. To my face.

I think I might take juice boxes and string cheese to the next class and tell the other women, "Since it's clear that someone here has elected herself hall monitor and has to go tattle if anyone has a beverage she doesn't approve of, I thought, 'well, if we're going to treat each other like children, let's have refreshments like pre-school,' so I brought you all some juice boxes and string cheese. Now you know what I'm drinking. And I know what you're drinking. And nobody has to tattle on anyone else."

God, my ass is still steaming over this. :>)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/22/2011 02:27PM by dogzilla.

<<<<<<I think I might take juice boxes and string cheese to the next class and tell the other women, "Since it's clear that someone here has elected herself hall monitor and has to go tattle if anyone has a beverage she doesn't approve of, I thought, 'well, if we're going to treat each other like children, let's have refreshments like pre-school,' so I brought you all some juice boxes and string cheese. Now you know what I'm drinking. And I know what you're drinking. And nobody has to tattle on anyone else.">>>>>>>>

Return and report!

Happens all the time... See someone drinking, or visiting a friend's house and see the wine rack, initially disapproving then, slapping my head, what business is it of mine, it's their house, besides, I've got a bottle at home myself...

I also had a kind of "reverse" reaction... I was listening to the "Book of Mormon" Broadway musical at work and someone asked me a question at my desk at work and noticed what I was listening too and asked if I was a Mormon... I couldn't say "Nope!" fast enough, probably a little too fast.

Whatever it is, I may have had one at Walmart last night. My wife and I were shopping and ran into some neighbors. I glanced and notice there was a case of O'dules (sp?) in the cart. Rather than condemning thoughts, my reaction was "cool! I need to get to know these guys better".

O'Doul's is nonalcoholic beer. Like caffeine-free soda, I see no point.

Having a non alcoholic beer is actually worse than having a real beer because if young kids saw they'd want some and then they'd develop a taste for the nasty stuff and end up as drunkards in the gutter as soon as they turn 21.

And don't forget, we are commanded to avoid the very appearance of evil and what's more evil than beer!!!!!

I double dog dare you try taking a case of non alcoholic beer to a ward party and see just how far you get.

Stunted

Then definitely have a real beer and avoid being inauthentic or giving a false impression.

Mormon logic is an oxymoron.

This kind of thinking reminds me of the "rather have my kid come home in a pine box rather than lose his chastity"

Culty cult.

Anagrammy

A couple of years ago, a new grocery store opened in my small city here in the upper Midwest. My kids and I went into the wine shop and I got myself a six-pack of O'Doul's (the dark amber stuff is not that bad). Ironically, later as we were shopping, who should we run into but the bishop! O_o (bwaa haa haa)

We chatted for a little bit but I could tell he was surrepitiously trying to see what the six-pack was in my cart. However, he nicely didn't say anything and has never mentioned it nor asked me anythng. Now he's my former bishop and I doubt he even remembers this incident.

Even though I don't follow the religion, some of its teachings have been imprinted in my brain. It takes a cognitive effort to step outside myself and look at things differently.

It took all my self control not to jump into the wounded bird thread yesterday and lecture on the damage done by outside cats.

Interesting... I never thought about how my desire to comment on everything and share my opinion might just be a symptom of "mormon indoctrination" Now that you mention it... It totally is... Maybe I should share another story about... Wait, I'm doing it again...

I did it in this forum once (at least once). Someone said they needed a drink because their in-laws or somebody was coming over or something stressful like that.

I got all huffy that they shouldn't be drinking for emotional reasons.

I drink too, so later I got to thinking, what IS a good reason to drink? Because I like the taste? Yeah, but lots of non-alcoholic stuff tastes good too. Hmmm, maybe I drink for the buzz/relaxation/social lubrication aspects of it too.

So not only am I judgmental, I'm also hypocritical. I should have just stayed mormon, I'd fit right in.

You make it sound as if only the mormons are guilty of kneee-jerk reactions! Gawl darnit!

Hmmm, I seem to have had one just now...

:)

It's pathetic - I still get that reaction sometimes when I see people dressed "immodestly". funny thing is, I dress that way too :P

We have been hiring for my Childcare Center. One of the people we hired has top notch credentials and I have seen her work with kids, she is absolutely amazing.

Then she needs to take a quick break for a cigarette. And my reaction is SHOCK. Such a great person SMOKES...oh the EVIL. Of course I didn't say any of this, but the thought flashed for about half a second.

She smokes...can I trust her not to molest the kids?

I mean it's just crazy Mormon baggage and I KNOW better. UGH.

When I am working late in the office with three female coworkers, my first impulse is that it is wrong and there should be another man there. I am often alone in the office with my female supervisor, and even then, nothing is going to happen, because we are responsible, professional adults, but my Mormon upbringing tells me there must be two men. Stupid, sexist bullshit.