So my wife’s parents are absolutely convinced that there will be a complete global meltdown before the close of this year (watch for earthquakes right after general conference folks – they have it on good authority). They’re so convinced of this 'fact' that they’re walking away from their home in Colorado (as in stopping payments and letting the bank repo the home and trashing their credit rating in the process), finding a rental in Utah county, trading one of their sedans for a pickup truck and trailer to haul their food storage and guns and prepping to run to the safety of San Pete county when Super Mormon Zombie Jesus comes to melt the world with his super laser eyes. These folks are approaching their 70’s and it’s more than a little disheartening to see them latch onto such fear mongering this way. They’re listening to local crackpot visionaries and conspiracy theorists and coupling these ‘revelations’ with actual market data to paint a gruesome picture: Total global financial collapse, martial law, roving gangs, local populations rounded up in labor camps at the point of a gun, etc… it’s like a really bad Michael Bay movie is playing in a continuous loop in their heads.

But there’s an upside to this. They (and my folks as well) have offered to help us procure an emergency preparedness arsenal including food storage and provisions for roughing it. That’s a total win for me and the missus. While I’m not jumping on the super scary apocalypse train, I always feel it’s prudent to have provisions in case something happens like a natural disaster or a shortage of goods or prolonged unemployment, etc. So… when Robot Zombie Laser Jesus melts the world we’ve got people willing to saddle us with goods and give us a place to stay when it all goes down. Hooray! In the meantime, I’ll enjoy having that emergency supply for ‘real’ emergencies if they come up. What did the polygamists call it? Oh yeah… bleeding the beast. Works for me!

After the apocalypse doesn't happen, there will still be plenty of Mombies and, like Fundagelicals, they will reset the Doomsday Clock to yet another future date.

Cool! Maybe you should by their house when it goes into foreclosure for a good price and then resell it at the next RealEstate bubble.

Are you prepared for an imminent zombie invasion? That was the query posed by the CDC, and it was entitled "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse". It is common at this time of the year to take into account a potential zombie apocalypse. You have to ask yourself -- am I economically ready, should the deceased begin to rise, walk the earth and feast on the living? Here are some tips and hints for being better ready. And these suggestions aren't just for the zombie apocalypse. Here it is: Are you financially prepared for the zombie apocalypse?. You may laugh now, but when this happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

I'm not surprised. In the mountains of Colorado, there has been an ongoing, underground movement regarding government conspiracies, apocalyptic prophesies, and weapons hoarding. My parents lived in the area until a few years ago, and reported several odd events such as members (including my father) being asked to carry concealed weapons at church because leaders felt there was some kind of outside threat, repeated paranoid reports that black helicopters had been spotted lurking over the area (which I don't think were ever confirmed), members that had huge caches of weapons stored underground, and the fact that my parents were asked to join someone's "pod"--a group of people hoarding weapons and supplies waiting for the foretold "end" to arrive...

Serious craziness. They were told almost 15 years ago that it was the end. Didn't happen then, not gonna happen now. Talk about being blinded by false prophets...

Gotta add, it was so great (insert sarcasm) to grow up ingrained with the fear of the end of the world just around the corner in my head. Is that how mormons are still raising their children? Sad.

I so agree with the "joy" of being a small child raised on apocalyptical stories!

Every morning as we waved goodbye to daddy as he left for work, when the time of year was just right, the sun would rise in the same window. At the moment it cleared the horizon, it was fat and misshapen. Sometimes thin clouds would cross it, making it red and ominous.
My mom would take that view as an opportunity to teach us about nuclear weapons and how an atom bomb would probably look like the sun did... Right before the radiation hit us and melted us alive.

And how glad she was to live near a major city like Seattle, so that she (us, mom, not just you!) would be killed on the first exchange of bombs, and not have to survive the nuclear winter that was sure to follow.

I'm curious too.

Also I am wondering how much time you have spent around them, and is this the only signs of dementia they are showing? If they have always been religious nut jobs(more than the average MORmON) and this is the norm for them, then fine, but If this is new behavior and they are willing to walk away from their home, and finacial well being, how else can they be scammed by ner do wells? Will you be ready to take them in when they have no more money and credit? Is it time for a visit from Adult Protective Services, and an evaluation of their mental well being?

Sorry if I am overconcerned but my nevermo MIL is having some struggles with her aging mind, and we are trying to protect her, and it is on my mind.

BKPs talk was all a coded message to those who really know what's going on. Only those who have heeded the countless warnings from previous prophets will be truly prepared. That last talk was just to confuse the lazy "deathbed repenters". Those slackers are going to starve in short order.

Just you wait and see.....

I always thought Boyd's talk about "this young girl will live to see her grandchildren before Jesus returns" was given to kindle more interest in the City Creek condos, which you couldn't buy, just lease for 99 years.

Resurrecting an 11-year-old thread?

Slow decade for you?

Hey, sometimes it's good to look back, particularly when the present is excremental ;-)

It's also nice to remember former posters. I was delighted to see Nebularry (always loved that name), with his coining of "Mombies":

"After the apocalypse doesn't happen, there will still be plenty of Mombies and, like Fundagelicals, they will reset the Doomsday Clock to yet another future date."

Eternally, Nebularry, eternally :-D

"Excremental"

Word of the day, boys and girls. It will be on the test.

"Sometimes Gladys could be excretionally slow in determining a course of action!"

"Alimentary, my dear Watson."

--Dorothy Sayers to a young fan, just before a topple from an exceptional tipple

I have been lurking on this board for a while now and I had to chime in on this one. I am not LDS and don't come from an LDS family but I became curious about how Glenn Beck's scary apocalyptic predictions might be tied in to his mormonism and so I started doing a shit ton of googling. I have some relatives who are Beck fanatics (though they aren't mormons) and have been doing the food storage/gold hoarding/liberty safe buying/weapons stockup thing for a few years now while they prepare for 'the coming insurrection.'

I started listening to Beck sometimes on the radio to see what the hell was going on here and it seems like a weird combination of pre-existing mormon religious beliefs (such as end-times weirdness and the ability to receive secret information from god about things) and conveniently scary headlines that are really getting people whipped up into a frenzy thinking that doomsday is around the corner and that Beck's prophesies are going to save them all. Its almost like people WANT some kind of stand off with the 'evil doers' so they can act out a bizarre Revolutionary War fantasy.

That being said, I told these relatives that if they happen to be right I expect to be admitted into their secret bunker immediately. haha.

If they lived through the 70's surely they remember all the talk about the world going to pieces any day, and the saints moving (probably WALKING) back to Missouri. My stake even had physical fitness classes to help us get in shape for the big trek. That prediction seems to have been forgotten. I personally helped throw out my parents' food storage after it had been rotting in the basement for decades. Funny how no TBM siblings brought up what a silly waste that was.

Then there was the Y2K scare: everyone getting their food storage stocked up, and some getting generators, etc. I knew some people who were going to go off into the wilderness somewhere to survive. The husband's whole business was based on the world falling apart at Y2K. I wonder if they ended up moving after the date come and went just to avoid the shame. (I had moved out of the ward about 4 months before the big day was supposed to come about, so I'll never know).

It's gotta be anti-climactic to be all prepared for the apocalypse and then nothing happens.

But somehow it doesn't seem to phase the apocalypse chasers.

Maybe 2012 will come through for them.

I remember the "walking to Zion" program.
We were all supposed to walk on our own and add up the miles.

i've seen people do this head for the hills the end is coming thing several times in my lifetime.

I always wonder, If things are that bad why would you WANT to live through that? My hope is that i will be one of the first to die in that scenario.

My TBM brother in Utah has the traditional "pantry" stocked with stale food, guns, ammo, gold and a liberty safe! He knows I don't believe, but warned me to stock up like him, "just in case". I told him I don't have to: that there is a nice mormon family just down the street. However, they don't believe in guns because they are afraid the kids will find them. If the shit is really going to hit the fan with this MZA, I told him I will go down the street with MY guns and politely ask this family to share their wares. If not, I'll kill them all and use my acetelyne torch to get into their liberty safe. Problem solved. He doesn't care for my sense of humor.

My ex-FIL was the biggest prepper nut ever. He had hundreds of guns and did all his own reloading of his ammo. He had buckets of ammo for every gun. When he'd run out of room to put that and his 20-year-old Sam Andy dried food, he'd just build another little room on to his house.

He just knew that whent the zombies (or just hungry people) were roaming, they'd find out who the mormons were, knowing the mormons have food, and come try to overrun his house to get the food. So, of course, we'd all be locked in there with guns pointed out every window to shoot anyone trying to break in.

One time I asked him if he really is going to enjoy having tons of crap to eat while hungry people, maybe women and children are out on his lawn starving to death. I said, I'd probably just share my food with the hungry people until we all ran out and then have someone to die with. He actually yelled at me that I'd better send my kids to him to take care of but I wouldn't be welcome if I wouldn't shoot a gun and wanted to give food away.

I always kind of felt bad that he died before he got to shoot anyone or pull a handcart to Missouri. I keep some emergency prepardness supplies around that would get me through a few days of an ice storm or tornado or something, but I just don't worry about anything beyond that. I spent too much of my life in fear of just about everything. I don't do fear anymore.

I'm sure the zombie apocalypse will happen, but first there will be Sharknado.

Very well and all, but how does one prepare for ManBearPig?

my tbm dad has been awaiting zombies since the 70s. He and my bro even made a timeline, according to thier prophesies.

Yup, that's why I'm in Utah, so I can hit up the Mos when the end comes. I'm sure they will generously share with me, being Christ-like types and all.

I bet the zombie-avoidance-preppers aren't even included in the statistics that showed Utah leads the nation in mental illness.

I don't mind people having hobbies, but I do wish they would be less sanctimonious and self-important about them.

My nutty uncle built a bomb shelter on his Colorado ranch during the Cold War. He also read a lot of Von Danikan.

Kudos to your in-laws for going all in. If you believe in the apocalypse happening at the end of the year, you have less than 3 months so why pay bills.

I always hear a version of this when someone says, the economy is tanking and we are going into a recession. I always ask "so you took your money out of your 401k, right?" They always go silent.

They went all-in eleven years ago. They are probably pissed now that they walked away from their house in 2011.

This is a zombie thread.

I live in California so I only have to make it thru the first 4 weeks of the Zombie Apocalypse and then I will be OK. Zombie's eat brains and there aren't enough brains in all of California to keep them alive for more than 4 weeks.

... beware of brains with no nutritional value!

That's why my ward uses cauliflower for sacrament. If you're eating the body of Christ, why not go one better and eat the brain of Christ?

will begin when some anti-vaxer Mormon uses ten year-old olive oil to bless their child for the measles.

I remember talking to another ward member at church (LDS) just prior to Y2K and him telling me how all hell is going to break loose, and, I was telling him nothing was going to happen (I worked for a giant electrical utility doing mainly high voltage repair), and I also told him you know where I work, but, he just kept going will all this crap, I just had to walk away, granted there are things that could happen, just NOT what he was preaching

Somebody else may have already said this (I haven't read the entire thread yet), but it strikes me that any apocalypse on this earth will more likely be caused by greedy humans on this planet than any big sky daddy taking revenge on humanity for their/our "sins".

and it always will be...

That happened in October 1992. Welcome to the United States.

https://hallidayreginald.medium.com/the-japanese-exchange-student-who-got-shot-in-louisiana-fb4fe7725906