Posted by:
CA girl
(
)
Date: November 08, 2010 09:39AM
TBM DH and I took the kids out yesterday for a family day and we had a blast … until my DH did something thoughtless and infuriating to pick a fight with me. I’m used to that - he picks a fight with me every vacation, holiday, outing, practically any fun, family time we have. He has ADD and apparently, some people with this, when they are out of their usual day to day routine react badly to the lack of structure and pick a fight because the heightened adrenaline helps them focus. This isn’t all people with ADD, by any means, but it describes DH perfectly. Usually I can sort him out before it ruins the day for everyone but then … The Attitude raised it’s ugly head.
You know the attitude - that MORMON attitude that got Our Gang kicked out of city after city because of “persecution”. The attitude of entitlement, superiority - of being God’s chosen people. It goes like this:
“I’ll treat you any way I want to. As long as I feel in my heart that what I am doing is good, that’s all that matters. It feels good to me so it must be the spirit testifying it’s right. If you object to it, there is something wrong with YOU! You are mean. You are anti-Mormon. You have a contentious spirit. You are the problem. I will not listen to your objections. If you say I was hurtful, it‘s because of YOUR pride and your need to be right about everything. You were offended and that means there is flaw in YOU - not that I was incredibly offensive. I don‘t think I did anything wrong so, therefore, I didn‘t do anything wrong. You have no right to be upset because I didn’t do anything - because I feel I didn’t. So there.”
I can handle DH in a disagreement or even a normal marital spat. In general, he’s a decent guy and very open-minded. But when he trots out that attitude of I “picked a fight” with him by objecting to the thoughtless way he treated me and he has every right to take me down for objecting to his actions" - that’s when I see the generations of BIC Mormons behind him, raising their ugly heads and know why Mormons have always been such an unpopular people. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating here: I would not marry another Mormon guy if the only alternative was a cigarette and a firing squad.