http://combatingpornography.org/cp/eng/individuals/recognize/article/do-i-have-a-pornography-problem

- Do you sense that your sexual thoughts and/or behaviors are causing problems in your life? No.

- Have sexual thoughts interfered with your ability to function at work or at school? No.

- Do you sometimes think that you are the only person who has certain sexual thoughts or engages in certain sexual behaviors? Not since I left the church.

- Do your fail to meet commitments or fail to carry out responsibilities because of your involvement with pornography? No.

- Do you struggle to control or completely stop your thinking about or viewing pornography? Not since I left the church. Now that I’m out, I hardly ever think about it.

- Do you view pornography in order to escape, deny, or numb your feelings? No.

- Do you think about sex more than you would like to? No. Is that even possible?

- Do you spend more money than you can afford to spend on pornography? No.

- Do you have two standards of fidelity- one for yourself and one for your spouse or partner? No. Weird question, BTW.

- Have you ever promised yourself that you would never again view pornography? No, not since I left the church.

- Do you use pornography to deal with, deny, or avoid problems in your life? No.

- Do your sexual thoughts and/or behaviors interfere with your spiritual or religious life? No, not since I left the church.

- Have you lost a job or risked losing a job because of your involvement with pornography? No.

- Do you scan printed material or change channels on the television set just to find something that will stimulate you? No.

Group discussion

Based on my answers to this questionnaire, where do you think my porn “problem” came from? What would be an effective way to overcome this “problem”?

I'll give the quiz some credit - all the questions are geared around life impacts and addiction, so if someone uses it but it doesn't damage their life or get obsessive, the person's score will be zero!

This is a better way to address pornograpy than any screwed-up TSCC talk anytime.

I think I see where you're going with this... the CHurch is the cause of porn problems!! So leaving the church helps you "overcome" the problem. :)

No, but the church definitely does have a porn problem. We treat people like stereotypes, as though that were a virtue.

http://argeiphontes.blogspot.com/2011/03/theory-without-practice-faith-without.html.

...then Mormonism objectifies people and holiness. If porn is unrealistically idealized, fantasized sex, then Mormonism is unrealistically idealized, fantasized happiness, family, eternity, etc. The brethren want us to be addicted to THEIR fantasy.

+1

Brilliant!

Any chance you could shorten it to two words, like

I know you are but what am I

or, better...

No Saints
All Sinners

You see,the reason why you left the church was so that you could look at porn without feeling guilt. If you didn't have a problem with looking at sexy, naked women with come hither looks enticing you with their glossy pages of evil, you would have remained valiant to the covenants you made at baptism.

...between the real meaning of porn addiction vesus the way Mormonism brands as "addiction" even the slightest interest in looking at naked people. Of course, a moralizing organization like the LDS church could NEVER allow that, yes, it's possible to enjoy porn responsibly. No no no no no! Porn = bad! Zero tolerance for porn!

And almost zero tolerance for humans being sexual creatures. Only in the mariage bed, mostly to procreate, but don't get all lusty or enjoy it too much. And have an opening and closing prayer, because it's sacred, not sexy. And put your garments right back on. Better yet, find a way to do it with them on. And for God's sake, turn the lights off!

Let's see if we can use these questions a different way...
>
> - Do you sense that your mormon thoughts and/or
> behaviors are causing problems in your life?
>
> - Have mormon thoughts interfered with your
> ability to function at work or at school?
>
> - Do you sometimes think that you are the only
> person who has certain thoughts or engages
> in certain behaviors?
>
> - Do your fail to meet commitments or fail to
> carry out responsibilities because of your
> involvement with mormonism?
>
> - Do you struggle to control or completely stop
> your thinking about mormonism?
>
> - Do you use mormonism in order to escape,
> deny, or numb your feelings?
>
> - Do you think about mormonism more than you would like
> to?
>
> - Do you spend more money than you can afford to
> spend on mormonism?
>
> - Do you have two standards of self worth - one for
> yourself and one for your spouse or partner?
>
> - Have you ever promised yourself that you would
> never again use mormonism?
>
> - Do you use mormon teachings to deal with, deny, or
> avoid problems in your life?
>
> - Do your mormon thoughts and/or behaviors
> interfere with your life?
>
> - Have you lost a job or risked losing a job
> because of your involvement with mormonism?
>
> - Do you scan printed material or change channels
> on the television set just to find something that
> will avoid stimulating you?


Based on these amended questions, and your answers to them, which is the bigger problem to you in your life - pornography or mormonism?

...the church wants to be your only addiction. It's a very jealous mistress.

Holy Crap Batman! I totally have a mormon problem! I scored very high on that. Definately need counseling.

rt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> - Do you have two standards of fidelity- one for
> yourself and one for your spouse or partner? No.
> Weird question, BTW.
>
It's not exactly a weird question. Some men will play the field while with gf or wife but they will expect and require their significant other to stay faithful (and meaning not even play with toys) - so two standards.

"If you answered yes to any of these statements you may be using pornography as an inappropriate coping strategy. You could benefit from discussing this issue with your church leader or a professional counselor."

Yes to *any* of the questions? That is ridiculous. It assumes all questions are weighted the same, when all of them are not. Looking for something stimulating on t.v. is not the same as missing work or spending too much money on porn (who *pays* for it anyway?).

It also appears to assume *any* problem needs the attention of a counselor and that the problem is porn instead of say, anxiety, depression, a relationship problem . . . . It obviously isn't a scientifically validated questionnaire. Stuff like this really annoys me.

A way to stigmatize married men. They've been off the hook ever since they left their non-masturbating days.

Let's roll....

Anagrammy

Funny how some posters don't seem to notice that this is from a church site!?

I think porn is 99% fantasy; Fantasy about:

-Having women fawn over you (the male in most cases)

-about how women...within a minute or two after meeting you, have an insatiable desire to F you.

-(some cases) Having a bigger penis.

-other variants to the sex 'most' guys get, most of the time:

-other racial

-for prolonged duration

the 'money shot' in porn is the guy cumming on the woman's face and/or breasts and/or other external areas....
how often does that happen IRL?

seriously, guys, Let's face it (no pun!)

Is the problem that it's fantasy or that the fantasy is so uninspired?

Once upon a time a female friend was thumbing through Playboy, clucking her tongue. "Look at these stupid settings and poses. Women wouldn't do that."

"Exactly," I replied. "That's why it's called fantasy."

I agree! Fantasy can be a lot of fun. Nearly all the movies and entertainment on t.v. is fantasy. Even so-called *reality* t.v. is fantasy. Fantasy is makes up much of our play. (Play is also abused in Mormonism!)

Besides the fun it can provide fantasy can also be seriously valuable. We can learn a lot about our thoughts, values, desires, and relationships by paying attention to our fantasies, including sexual fantasies, in a respectful, non-judgmental, non-literal, curious, below-the-surface way.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/28/2011 03:26PM by robertb.

about some people expecting their SO to be more "pure" than they are. I actually have experienced that even with my gay ex. I KNOW he expected to marry a virgin though he wasn't one because of his mormon upbringing. There is a different standard set.

I've known many RMs who had sex with a girl and then broke up with them because the girl tempted him and now she was soiled. (Yes, I do know several.)

BUT--No, you don't have a porn problem. This is one of my biggest irritations about the church right now. I would suspect about 90% of the males in mormonism have a porn problem because they might view it sometimes or think about it. The rest have a low sex drive or have succeeded in suppressing their feelings well enough.

Just like alcohol it really depends on how it affects your life and family.

Some people can drink responsibly others cannot and are alcoholic.

The same goes for pornography. For some it consumes their life.

This questionnaire does a good job at making you look at how porn is affecting your life. Please don't make light of porn addiction it is very real for some people.

I suffer from this addiction and it escalated to ongoing addictive sexual contact outside my marriage. I can trace the roots of it to my Mormon sexual repression and now I have to work hard in 12 step recovery.

Luckily though, recovery ultimately opened my eyes and I'm resigning the church with a much happier marriage.

Some people do have an addiction to porn and I have a lot of empathy for them. I'd actually say my ex is addicted to sex (and he would agree). He has a lot of casual sex. I attribute some of it to his upbringing in mormonism and I think if he hadn't been raised in mormonism, he'd probably have found a long-term partner by now.

But mormonism makes anyone who looks at porn even once think they have an addiction. We had some guy come here some years back who had looked at porn once in 6 months and masturbated once in 6 months and his wife made him go repent to the bishop.

I also see my siblings, who started drinking in rebellion, who drink to excess. I did have one brother who ended up in jail for a while for his many DUIs.

I'm sorry for what you've been through.

rt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> - Do you spend more money than you can afford to
> spend on pornography? No.

This is something that I've always questioned. I've heard several times from "the pulpit" that porn is a $60 billion a year industry. Forbes Magazine did an analysis and estimated that it was $1.5 to $4.0 billion at best.

I still don't get it. I look at porn on a fairly regular basis, and other than an internet connection (which I would have even if I didn't look at porn), over the last 15 years, I've spent exactly $0.00 on it.

Interestingly Forbes estimation puts porn in a similar financial bracket as the Tithing industry - based on UK published accounts Mormons spend circa $2 to $3 Billion a year purely on Tithing.

Question for the lurking Mormon's - do you spend more on porn or more on Tithing and by how much?

My TBM friend was devastated when she found out her DH had a porn addiction. Apparently he was spending $50.00 a month on porn. I don't get it at all. I still don't know if it was Internet porn or maybe it was Playboy Channel or something similar? If it was the latter I could see that adding up.

$50 a month? Good lord.. that could be one subscription to a porn site.

And besides.. anyone who pays for their porn is just foolish.

that you can just purchase, like a block of a few hours or so, to watch and not actually subscribe? That is what I'm talking about. It seems like there was something like that years ago. I still don't know why you would purchase it when it is just one, easy, free click away.

I spend zero on porn or tithing, but I least I get some tangible benefit from the former :)

...but, the way Mormonism approaches pornography creates more addicts than pornography itself.

the 'Jr. Psychologist' in me says this:

there could be two reasons why you ask:

1.Bored out of your tree; Nothing better to do.

2. You do have a problem with porn; U might have been accused or dis-respected because of it, etc.

of course, there could be others; those are just my top two picks.

and, notice: I didn't say there's anything wrong with fantasy!

http://www.cfsh.ca/Your_Sexual_Health/Sexual-Pleasure/Masturbation.aspx

One of the benefits of masturbation?
- can help build self esteem and learn to love yourself

Totally opposite of what Mormonism teaches. I see young men freaked out about masturbation because religion teaches them it's wrong and they're dirty or weak for doing it. It ruins their self-esteem.

T-Bone