Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: nlocnil ( )
Date: October 24, 2011 07:09PM

It was early 90s.

When we got married our Bishop told us that we should have sexual intercourse while wearing the garments. I was confused because the woman's garment doesn't have a flap like the man's.

I think this guy and his wife must have still been wearing the old one-piece garments, since both genders had flaps.

My wife and I both agreed that was really weird.

Did anyone else get this strange advice?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Mia ( )
Date: October 24, 2011 07:49PM

maybe he's only having sex with himself.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: anonemouse ( )
Date: October 24, 2011 07:52PM

Mid 70's instructions wear your garments day and night. Finally had enough guts to ask the bishop in an interview. Emabrassed and flustered he said what goes on in your bedroom is between you and your wife.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: October 24, 2011 07:58PM

What was he? An insurance rep, a CPA, a computer programmer? Creepy to have him inserting himself between husband and wife.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: KC ( )
Date: October 24, 2011 08:00PM

but I was married in mid 90's and no such council. Sounds like an out of date bishop to me. This was an 80's thing.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: upsidedown ( )
Date: October 24, 2011 08:38PM

That bishop might just be missing out on a interesting little thing called NORMAL SEXUAL BEHAVIOR!!!! He's got no so many in LDSinc.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: freeman ( )
Date: October 24, 2011 09:04PM

Weird, even by Mormon standards.

And further proof, as if we needed anymore, that church "leaders" are not inspired.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: another guy ( )
Date: October 24, 2011 09:23PM

My ex- would have LOVED to have received this advice during our marriage. She WORSHIPPED her garments. She tenderly removed them right before 'the act' (folding and laying them carefully on the chair next to the bed), and quickly put them back on again as soon as the train left the station. It was SO difficult getting my mind past this insanity so that we could get on with it...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: honestone ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 01:25AM

Too funny! I feel for you guys!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: AtheistMarine ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 06:07PM

Man, seeing that kind of nonsense would've put me out of the mood. Garment worship=flacid haha

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: WiserWomanNow ( )
Date: October 24, 2011 09:34PM

1. The exmo husband talks about what a difference it made, once he & DW left the church and stopped wearing garments, to have skin-to-skin contact with his wife:

Married Mormon Sex after Mormonism

2. In the following article, note in particular the subsection "How to Destroy a Temple-Married Woman's Sex Life”:

Sexual Repression and Depression in Mormon Marriages

Both articles are tremendously insightful!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/24/2011 09:34PM by WiserWomanNow.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: sophia ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 12:31AM

It wasn't quite as bizarre as it sounds in a subject line. He came and spoke to an adults-only meeting in which he talked about the temple and about garments. It was actually quite a sensible talk, an attempt to explain some aspects of the temple in a pretty sane and rational way. As part of his message he talked about when it was appropriate to take them off, like for sports and swimming. He didn't say what to do between a husband and wife, but he did say not to defile them by wearing them if you committed adultery.

I don't remember exactly how he got into the topic of garments and adultery, but I didn't see it as weird at the time. Looking back on it and telling the story it really sound's strange to me now though.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: freeman ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 05:05AM

I expect the same applies to solo masturbation.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: justanotherprettypiece ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 05:24AM

How weird. Because if you are committing adultery not wearing your garments will make it not as bad of a sin??

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: freeman ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 06:49AM

You will have committed two sins, the second being defiling the holy garment.

If you then go to church and partake of the sacrament, you have further compounded the sin.

Best, if you are going to sin, to mitigate it by taking your garments off, getting drunk, and avoiding church.

At least that is the logic of TSCC.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: sophia ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 10:16AM

Freeman is basically correct. Take them off to avoid defiling the holy garment.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: justanotherprettypiece ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 05:22AM

Growing up I always heard you could take off your garments for the 3 S's- Sports, swimming, and sex. That's both crazy and sad to think some people never had sex naked if they were getting that advice.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: freeman ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 06:47AM

I heard it as the four s's - shower.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: justanotherprettypiece ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 07:45AM

Dang it! I knew I missed one :)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: They don't want me back ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 05:23AM

and they were having great sexx.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 06:53AM

...a friend told her that we are lucky, because we don't have to have sex with garments on anymore. She was really perturbed by that. The friend was in her 60s and this was 1993, so I'm guessing it was some sort of wacky Mormon 1970s disco thing.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 07:07AM

The Bishop was speaking as a man.

Official Church instruction leaves a lot up to the discretion of the individual member. The phrase 'to be worn at all times unless the activity cannot be reasonably done with them on' comes into play.

Can you resonably have sex with them on - the Church is okay with you deciding that for yourself, regardless of what the Bishop thinks.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Pista ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 08:07AM

Our stake president said that if we happened to fall asleep together afterwards without putting them back on, god would understand. He probably thought he was being edgy.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: imalive ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 08:54AM

I personally nhever got that counsel to wear garments while having sex, but I remember hearing about it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tabula Rasa ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 09:34AM

You guys had sex when you were members? Fuck me runnin'... we never did.


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 12:18PM

Because sex WAS possible with garments given that men had a fly and both sexes had the enormous butt flap. When the two-piece garments came out, I thought that the stupid argument had gone away.

I suppose that among the believers of any religion there are those who niggle over The Law, but Mormonism really lends itself to it. A good bishop will be the one to say, "Whatever floats your boat." There aren't enough of those, and two many of the ones who want to niggle or promote their own belief above that of others.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: justanotherprettypiece ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 12:21PM

My parents got married in the early 80s and I know for a fact they had sex without their garments on because I walked in on them once when I was about 11 *blush*.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Misfit ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 04:01PM

In our more TBM days, this was the nonverbal communication at bedtime between DW & I:

Climbing into bed w/ PJs and garments on = Not tonight, honey, I have a headache.

Climbing into bed w/ only garments on = they will probably get removed in short order.

Climbing into bed her wearing lingerie/him-boxers w/ heart pattern = Let's play Hercules and Xena.

Climbing into bed w/ nothing on = GET OVER HERE, NOW! I WANT YOU!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nonmo ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 07:46PM

Nice translation...but:
"Climbing into bed w/ PJs and garments on = Not tonight, honey, I have a headache."

That just sounds uncomfortable...wearing basically 2 sets of clothes to bed.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: lazarus ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 05:51PM

I tried to find this online, but couldn't - so take it for what it is worth. I remember talking about this with my dad. He said that the policy used to be that even sex was to be while wearing garments. A recently called prophet got up in priesthood meeting and said "Brethren, garments are for your protection. I don't know about you, but I am not scared of my wife." That did away with the policy.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/25/2011 05:51PM by lazarus.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: ed wood ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 06:11PM

One of my bishops gave me some very good advice just before I got married, he sat me down in his office and with a straight face proceeded to let me know that sex should only be had for the purpose of procreating.

Well I looked at him, expecting that he would allow more leeway and the occasional roll in the haystack just for fun but no there was no more. But I must say he did practice what he preached, at least I think he did, because he had twelve kids back then and later I found he had increased his tally to fifteen ( he wasn't going to wait to get to the celestial kingdom to begin populating other worlds).

I left his office somewhat despondent and decidedly determined that this was one piece of good advice I would ignore and thankfully I have. I have not only rolled in the haystack, I have backflipped, sommersaulted, dived, crawled through over and under my beloved haystack.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: anon2day ( )
Date: October 25, 2011 07:56PM

How it went for me in the early years

Oh oh Please oh do not look at me in my garmies
Oh Oh Please oh do not look at me in my
Oh oh please oh do not look at me in
Oh Oh please oh do not look at me
Oh Oh please oh do not look at
Oh oh please oh do not look
Oh oh please oh do not
oh oh please oh do
oh oh please oh
oh oh please
oh oh

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In

Sorry, you can't reply to this topic. It has been closed. Please start another thread and continue the conversation.