Posted by:
jaxxtraxx
(
)
Date: October 31, 2011 02:17AM
Dear Father,
My present desire and belief, as a dissafectted mormon, is not something that occured through a shallow desire to sin, being offended, irrational decision making, laziness, or unwise choices. I decided by my own will, not through my peers, friends, family, or any other source of influence. I am grateful you find satisfaction, joy, peace and inspiration through the LDS church and kinship and respect in your fellow saints and leaders. It pleases me that you have a community and religion you belong to and feel a part of. Perhaps If I stayed in the church I could forge such friendships and ties with leaders and fellow saints. Sadly I could not find inspiration, peace, joy or even satisfaction in the religion and its systems of beleif that you have found. I see all too much a religion made by men for men and devoid of the hand of god and his direction all together. Where you find great leaders who dedicate their lives to the cause of the most succesfful schism of Mormism, I see many great and sincere leaders dedicating their time and talents to a false cause built upon a foundation of lies. I see a church that claims to have living oracles and modern revelation yet utterly dissapoints in that respect. Claims are made that it is the only church capable of speaking in the name of the Lord to the world, yet it's prophets reveal nothing, are silent on so many important and fundamental questions, and even lack the integrity to be honest about doctrines and teachings of the past. I see a church that was originally set up to be radically different than all other christian churches at the time, a church that claimed to be unique and peculiar, a church that was not affraid and even proud to profess certain doctrines at odds with christiandome. Now I see a church that desires to be "Christian" just like everyone else, a church that belittles, backs down, and denies past doctrines and revelations from God because they are at odd with mainstream christianity. I see a church that claims to be the corrector of all truth, the bearer of light and every good and godly thing, the restored gospel setup to correct the wicked and ungodly ways of men, yet it has descriminated against blacks by spewing forth racist revelation, doctrines, and policies of an abhorrent nature, it has held and holds similiarly ignorant and ridiculous views towards women and homosexuals. I see a church who claims to live by the very Gospel of Christ and requires members to pay their full tithes in order to recieve salvation and exahltation, yet with those sacred tithes that are often given through sacrafice and great harships they spend billions on hunting reserves, PR and media marketing to appeal to mainstream christianity, real estate, and for profit business' such as the uncompleted city creek mall and condos which have surpassed a 4 billion dollar budget. How can I have confidence in a church that spends a meager total of $750 million dollars in humanitarian aid over 22 years and four times that on a mall. I suppose I can continue this list for many more pages, but my intent is not to explain why I feel the church is false or why I no longer beleive. I simply feel it necessary to give you an example of how I percieve the church as apposed to the way you do and how I can never have those same feelings for it that you now have and want to share with me. It is impossible.
I am flattered that you see great potential in me not just in capabilities and talents, but that you also recognize me as a good and responsible person irregardless of my dissafection with the LDS church. Might I suggest that it is through your example and others that I have grown up with that I have turned out to be a good person and may continue to grow and progress regardless of the church. The capability and talents you see in me exist indepdendant of the LDS church. You need not fear that these things will be stunted or destroyed because I have left the church. The church is not what instilled good character or inate talents in me to begin with.
Without doubt I appreciate and respect your love and concern for my wellfare. I surely share the same love and concern for you. I know that you believe I left the church because of reading some garbage, being offended or strayed out of sin, etc. That is simply not the truth. I have not made my decision hastily or done so out of comfort and ease. To the contrary. The conclusion to leave the church and lose my beliefs in the claims and teachings of the restoration were not sought out or even desired. The journey out of the church has been fought with great pain, sorrow, hardhips and misery. There was no bliss or satisfaction found in fully rejecting something that seemed so essential and core to my very being. After all is said and done I have taken the path that my concious has dictated is the correct and good one. I am grateful that I sought the truth out regardless of the hardships the journey brought.
I feel the warmth, love and kindess you have for me in the words and feelings you expressed in your note. I too am grateful that you are my father and have been an exeptional example. It is with that same kindness and love that I tell you I have no interest in going back to the church for any reason. It is all too clear to me that there is no divine hand leading the bretheren. I only see a corporation that has been disengenious and hypocritical. I cannot belong to a religion that intentionally decieves the members and the world about it's unflattering history or has a mouthpiece of God lie to millions on national t.v. I cannot find the value and spirituality that you find in the LDS church because I view it so fundamentally different than you.
Love, blahhblahh