I told my bishop my husband did not satisfy me and I masturbated after sex. I asked if that was all right.

About a week later this guy in the ward who was separated suddenly struck up a conversation with me. Out of the blue he said my husband was a lucky guy blah-blah-blue and then in closing his burblings he added, "I know you'll be fulfilled if not in this life then in the next."


Anagrammy

once i told a bishop something in confidence, even made sure it was in confidence and it took the buttwipe less than 3 hours to betray me. i called him and screamed at him told him what i thought. i will never tell any of them anything ever again, never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was nothing serious, i was just defending my wife against the ward gossip who happened to be his wife.

yes, i can only presume he did. I told him (after some prying on his part) that my testimony was rather shaky at the time- and i didn't know if jesus loved me. I was at the tail end of working thru some childhood abuse issues and i was rather raw at the time. I had mentioned this to only 2 others- one of whom was away on vacation during this time frame and the other was a woman who didn't gossip- she knew my whole story.

Anyway by the next week the primary pres. had called me and said she wanted to meet. i presumed (silly me) that she and i were going to finally figure out an assistant for me in the nursery. Instead she asked me if i wanted 'help' regaining my testimony. Wondering how someone can do that for someone else, i said no. So she said that she wanted a spiritual person in the nursery and she was going to release me. I thot she was kidding but nope, she did. Since i hadn't told her anything, she must have heard it from him. i never confronted him about it as i didn't know how to respond if he said that he did do it. I still wonder about it. BTW i was actually running a nursery program with lesson, crafte, songs etc. The kids were enjoying it so much, i could leave the door to the classroom open and not worry.

As you pass out the cookies, break up quarrels, change diapers, and read baby books - you must do so with an eye single to his glory and you must glow out spirituality from every oriface.

What a crock of poopie that primary prez was.

All I know is that when I was in the Bisho-pric, the bishop told me everything about everyone. His line was, "I'm only telling you this because you're my first counselor, and in case something happens to me you will be in charge, so you should know these things...don't tell your wife..etc" He told his wife everything. So did I. There are no secrets because mormons don't believe in secret combinations.

I didn't realize they released you if you were doubting your testimony. Everyone doubts their testimony at some point or another! I'm sorry you were judged so horribly.

i was 25. had not lived with my parents for 8 years. i had an interview with my bishop in which we discussed some private details of my life.

a week later i was at my parents house,(we weren't in same ward) and my mother brought up every thing i had talked to my bishop about. that was it! i never talked about anything to a bishop that i didn't want my parents to know.

I can't understand why anyone would want to tell an unpaid, untrained LDS Corp bureaucrat anything that would be personal, or that you wouldn't want to be spread out into the world. When I was in the Corp, I never did. But I also couldn't stop my TBM ex (when we were married). She ran to the so-called bishop and blabbed stuff that was no one's business but ours. Once, she told me what she was going to say. I told her that - if she did - I'd never go back to that ward; it'd be too embarassing to show my face there again. She waited until we were about to move to another city, and did it anyway. I have no idea why she would do that. It must be a mental sickness.

It wasn't a leader I confided in, but a good friend of mine in the ward. I told her a couple things I was questioning about the church. My parents had no idea we were questioning the church or not attending meetings. Next thing ya know I get a call from my bishop informing me that my dad called him up to see if it was true we weren't going to church. My bishop told me (he thought I should know) someone in the ward called my parents and told them I was reading garbage about the church and that we weren't attending. Instead of my parents confronting me about it, my dad called my bishop. I was irate at my friend for calling my parents behind my back. When I confronted her, she said she was inspired to call them. And I was upset at my dad for calling my bishop instead of confronting me.

Because minding your own business and keeping private stuff in confidance is just too much work.

What's 'Wonderful' about ALL THESE THINGS is how ChurchCo evades responsibility!

the Teflon church!

My FIL was very invasive, nosy, and dictating my life. My husband had moved me and our child next door to his parents then went to work so far from home he was only home on weekends.

I went to the Bishop for advise on how to set boundaries with my FIL.
The DamnBishop told my FIL everything and made things worse.
I was so well trained TBM at the time it never occurred to me to call him out on it and chew him up one side and down the other.

I've also had councilors discuss my personal business with their spouses who gossiped with others and it got back to me.

Mormons gossip especially if you are confiding in the Bishop!

Wow reading this thread made me really, really pissed off. I had no idea stuff like this happened.

I confessed to the bishop a lot of times but I don't know if he told anyone or not what I said.

When I was 16 there were rumors going around the stake about my boyfriend and me. I remember I was at a dance with him and this random boy comes up to us and asks if we'd had sex. He said that people were saying we had sex. We hadn't had sex, first of all, and it was really strange some person we both didn't know would even have the gall to ask us something like that. No boundaries! I always wondered where that rumor came from though and why people were talking about us.

My dad was a bishop for about 5 years and I remember one time he came home and mentioned something about a family in the ward. I can't remember what it was and I don't think he told specifics, but it was enough info to make me think, "Why did he tell me that? I shouldn't know that!"

I am sorry that you ended up in a situation where you felt betrayed......
but I have to ask
WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER TELL A BISHOP ANYTHING LIKE THAT !

I know a story much like yours. I goes like this.

I was mowing the lawn. I wanted to get it done quickly. The discharge became plugged up with grass clippings. I did not want to take the time to shut off the lawn mower to unclog it.
I figured it would be Ok to clear the grass clippings with the mower running. After all I thought, if grass clippings were plugging up the mower, they couldnt be THAT close to the powerful whirling blade.....

I'm not sure if they ever said anything directly, but I would not be surprised.

In the ward I grew up in for about a year the bishop and the RS pres were husband and wife. A friend of mine was one of her counselors. The RS pres used to share information with my friend that the bishop should have kept in confidence.

Yes.

The bishopric are notorious gossips themselves in the ward I attended. Stuff came out as to why i was in hospital not too long ago and that's part of the reason why i said fuckit and stopped going.

When I was ward clerk I had to ask the bishopric to please stop telling me stuff about other members. I eventually just stopped doing my job and they released me.

The gossip is not good for children. Confidential matters can end up getting discussed during dinner in a priesthood leader's own home. His children grab all the juicy parts and spread them around the hallways of Junior High. The child of the family being talked about learns about his parents from other children.

She heard it at the dinner table from her Dad, a member of the bishopric. Of course, my excommunication was broadcast in PH and---I was told, SM. News was all over the neighborhood by Sunday afternoon, hours after my court of love. This was 1978. I found an apartment across town, took a week off work, moved my kids to another school, and sold my home for MUCH less than the market price. Before the sign was in my lawn, I had an offer and they had their properties effectively devalued. (I was just a titch bitter at this moment).

DON'T mess with precious children's minds. Don't do it.

It's a gossip and masters of the universe session.

"I just learned that Mr. Primus plays with his ding-dong. I need all of you to show forth a bit more love towards him and have more 'law of chastity lessons, especially if he is around."

if you are a full tithe payer. Why would anyone pay tithing to a ward so that everyone knows how much you earn?

When was tbm and I paid tithing, I always sent it directly to SLC so the local bishop didn't know how much I paid. If not, then the most private part of your life is known by at least 5 men and their wives in your ward.

the Dear Bro Joe(like he is dear Abby) blog yesterday...where Ole Joe... espoused the view that you should go to your "Bishop" with your problems because he will keep it in confidence!! what a crock!! i wish he would come back here and read this thread!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/01/2011 09:55AM by bignevermo.

Yes. Several times. Nothing...and I mean NOTHING you tell the bishop is safe. It will be repeated in bishopric meeting and told to leaders in auxiliaries, the bishop's wife, friends, etc. Just another problem of having businessmen playing counselor on Sundays. I think I am going to start playing lawyer, accountant, etc for the leadership of TSCC so they can see how that works out for them.

My relative was on the bishopric and his wife used to listen in to his church calls on their second telephone. She then used to tell another relative all the 'juicy gossip'.

There is a bright side to this if you learn to play their game. I was tired of teaching the youth and talked to the Bishop about wanting to see a church councilor about depression. He gave me the name and I was released in two weeks. hmmmmm I wonder why.

Yep, me too ... it was a legal issue that I just had to wait to sort it out (nothing that would affect "worthiness" in any way). I wouldn't share it but I just moved to a new ward and wanted to warn the bishop not to give me some major calling since I may be leaving the town any time. I specifically told him not to tell anyone including his counselors, that I consider it a personal affair and just wanted him to know for that reason. Two weeks later a random guy at church asks me about it. I only answered that I told that the bishop in full confidence and it's none of his business. Then my HT and VT asked too ... then other random people. I was pissed.

Even confronted the bishop and he said he didn't tell anyone ... yeah, like I would believe that. What they mean by that is that they only told their counselors and everyone in the ward council (presidents or counselors in all church organizations), RS president and her counselors, your HT and VT, and whoever else they thought should know. Confidential? Don't think so.

I've been in the bishopric meetings, the PEC meetings, the ward council meetings.

Bottom line...don't tell them a damn thing!

LOL we had one SP in a stake in California who would invariably bring up members' problems during his talks, especially in stake conferences.

Although he did not name names I almost always knew who he was talking about, as did others.

Makes you wonder about the intelligence of the people who actually went to him, or to any bishop in the stake, with their problems.

My niece can go to her priest (Catholic) and tell him anything, with full confidence that whatever she tells him is between him, her and God. Anything. I (non Catholic) could tell him anything in confidence as well because he is a trained member of the clergy.

I talk to my friend, an ordained protestant minister and know it's confidential. He doesn't discuss anything with his wife (she would get very pissed) and, as they both know, he was taught in his seminary why there must be trust and confidence.

Just like lawyers, physicians and other professionals, there must be confidence and it doesn't mean just the legal side of it.

This confidence runs deep, because without it we could not reveal anything about an illness, legal problem or anything personal to anybody else. These professionals are taught how to deal with every situation and how to counsel.

The Morons are so proud of their lay, untrained ministry, and there is no ministry at all. Hey, let's talk about Mormon sister's BC pills at the dinner table. The children have been taught that it's ok, so it's all over the schoolyard.

The terms stolen by Joe ("Bishop" Priest, etc.) make me grind my teeth because it's damn difficult, expensive and requires years of study to be a real one. I'm surprised he didn't rip off more from the Jewish faith than he did. "Gentiles?" Really? Got Hebrew Envy? He was a con man and womanizer and would have been kicked out of a real seminary in a heartbeat. Rabbinical school? Hah! His answer was to just make their education and professionality insignificant. Every Mormon is a gentile. Deal.

I confessed some "sins" to my Bishop once and got informal probation. I didn't think anymore of it until a year or so later I started dating this girl (now my wife) from another ward in the stake and was surprised at the negativity there was towards our relationship from her brothers, her parents, her Bishop and pretty much half her ward.

I never did discover the exact whisper chain, but needless to say all these people knew I was on supposedly informal probation, and hence wasn't suitable bf material for their sister / daughter / friend's daughter etc. To compound things, it turns out the rumours were worse than the truth, and not one of them had the guts to speak to me about any of it.

I married her, but I still resent my MIL.

Well yes. I was thrown into the bishop's office and forced to confess that my stepbrother had been abusing me for the better part of my 15th summer. I was immediately blamed, given a bishop's court, and placed on probation. Suddenly, all my teachers stopped asking me to give prayers or bear my testimony (because you don't have one, of course, if you are repenting).

About a year after I was reinstated to full on good-girl membership again, the bishop's son wanted to date me. His momma came over to my house to basically warn me against banging the kid. She wanted her son to come home from dates with me and still be mission-worthy.

Now, how did she know I was such a sexually active slut who went after anything with a penis? I had never dated any of the boys at church. Not one. Except her son and I only went out with him to piss her off. We never even kissed.

They don't have to betray your confidence to tell your secrets. Remember my teenage nephew and his masturbation problem? Every time he skipped the sacrament, every month his priesthood ordination was postponed told EVERYONE in the ward that he's being naughty and it doesn't take much imagination to figure out what that means in a teen boy. Then, by denying him a temple recommend when his mom and step-dad and brothers were sealed as an eternal family, the damn bishop let the entire family know too.

Once, when I was RS president, a young college girl in the dorms got pregnant. She was hiding her pregnancy from everyone til the end of term, then she was going to go live with a Mormon "foster" family til her child was born. She wanted to give the baby up through LDS Family Services and didn't want anyone to know. But she had to tell the bishop, to get in the program. And he told me and my first counselor, because he wanted us to go and talk to her - to make sure she was OK. Thankfully, this 18 year old knew and liked me and wasn't mad I was there. She really did need someone to talk to. But she was FURIOUS at the bishop and later went and told him off. He was very shamed-faced when he related to me that he'd made a big mistake and we needed to leave this girl alone from now on. She'd already told me not to come back or her roommates would get suspicious and I promised I wouldn't.

Last year, DH had a question and asked his friend the first minion in his bishopric. Minion said he needed to make an appointment and ask Bishop Jackwagon but DH declined because he knew the bishop would use any info to manipulate our family. First minion asked DH what he was planning to do when he needed a temple recommend. DH said he'd just wait til we had a new bishop because he didn't trust the current one. About a week later, I was talking to First Minion's wife while we were waiting after school to pick up our kids. Out of the blue, she said how glad she was her husband wasn't bishop because the bishop was burdened with all kinds of secrets he couldn't even share with his own counselors. I said "I thought the bishopric told each other everything" and she immediately rushed to deny that and say how careful the bishop was to keep confidences when he was asked to.

Yeah - right. The fact you are telling me this story, Mrs. First Minion, is proof you are lying.

CA girl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> They don't have to betray your confidence to tell
> your secrets. Remember my teenage nephew and his
> masturbation problem? Every time he skipped the
> sacrament, every month his priesthood ordination
> was postponed told EVERYONE in the ward that he's
> being naughty and it doesn't take much imagination
> to figure out what that means in a teen boy.
> Then, by denying him a temple recommend when his
> mom and step-dad and brothers were sealed as an
> eternal family, the damn bishop let the entire
> family know too.

This was my experience with it. I'm sure they were telling people too, but EVERYONE knows when you can't take the sacrament, get released from callings, don't progress, can't go to the temple, etc. After all that humiliation the gossip really doesn't matter.

Nope, not once. However, I've been told shit that didn't bear repeating by church leaders.

Ron