That's what really blew me away when I thought about, after leaving the Church. I wondered why I'd allowed these men, who were office workers during the day, or whatever they were, to have such authority over my personal life.
They're not my boss. They're not my parent, and I'm an adult anyway. They're just guys who had no more authority in my life than I was willing to hand over to them. Amazing.
DH and i are awaiting the "summons" we know it's coming. Ran into the RS pres. at costo yesterday. She told me they were talking about us in a meeting the other day! RED FLAGS popping up in my head! I just calmly said: "that must have been one boring meeting."Then I laughed and told her it was nice to see her. Have a nice day!
to tell me the bishop wanted to meet with me, I said, "ah, okay." "Can you meet him at the church on [day of week, time] at the church." "Nah, I don't want to meet him there." Awkward pause. "Well, he's a busy man, and it will take a lot of time if he meets you elsewhere." "Okay, well, how badly does he want to meet with me, because I don't want to meet him at the church building." "Ah... hmmm... ahh... okay, I'll talk to him and get back to you." No call back. So, I guess he didn't want to talk to me very much.
yes, and it was a never-ending list of 'somebody's if you were a woman or a low-ranking man
woman> husband or 12 yr old son if hubby not lds or around >home teacher >visiting teacher >relief society presidency > primary or YW presidency if in one of those organizations >bishopric >stake relief society presidency >stake primary/ YW presidency if also in one of those at the ward / stake level >stake presidency >high council??
with the way callings change (esp. home/visiting teachers) that could be just about anyone at any time.
Once everyone else had an input into your life, the only decisiions left to make were the colour of your walls. Most everything else was already planned out or based on what you could afford AFTER all church 'bills' were paid.
1. Was it a vmail. 2. Did you answer the call? 3. Was it the exec secretary? 4. What was your response?
Details! Details!
BTW. They are not in charge of squat. Don't go. Ignoring them is the best way to take your authority over your religious life back.
Or, you can go and "pretend" with them.
Like greyfort said. You are the boss not them. If you go then you are inside the pretenders delusion and your very presence feeds that delusion. Its your choice but my vote is don't go.
Avoidance, just ignoring their calls and requests?
Giving notice, we're taking a break or quitting and we're not meeting with you to discuss anything.
Setting boundaries, don't contact us or show up at our door
Confrontation, Sure we'll meet with you and drag out all the Mormon garbage and tell you what we think about this corrupt organization masquerading as a Church
"Too busy to come and see you." "When can you come in?" "Nonyaf***ingbusiness is when." "What?" "What?" "What did you say?" "What, you have hearing loss?" "That was totally uncalled for." "Okay, well, you can just go ahead and eat a big bowl of shut the hell up and don't call us again."
"I regret to inform you that I will not be available to attend the scheduled visit. My time is occupied right now with finding a Coca Cola machine on Pluto."
P.S. "Please let me know when you find evidence of Lehi's existence, I will let you know if I find a coke machine on Pluto."
For the last few years I attended Sacrament just to support my kids but typically skipped SS and haven’t been to PH for years. Well one Sunday our pompous Executive Sec spots me in the foyer talking to a couple friends. He proceeds to loudly and without any tact at all tell everybody that I was on a list of people who didn’t have a temple recommend and he needs to schedule an appointment with me so he could get me “off the list”. I told him that I had already discussed this issue with the bishop and nothing has changed on my side, but if the bishop has changed his position I’d be glad to talk with him.
So much for keeping personal information private.
If I get a follow up call I’ll gladly meet them at my house, but I won’t go to the meetinghouse.
I do the same exact thing as well and TBM DH is okay with it. But that secretary was a pompous ASS! Frankly, I would've just walked away if that happened to me. I commend you for your response. :-D
The way I have handled it. Keep in mind, my wife is still an active TBM.
I tell 'them' I am at home most evenings. The bishop is welcome to come over anytime. Of if that doesnt work for him, I have a fairly easy lunch schedule if he wants to chat over lunch. And then I tell the guy calling to just have the bishop call me directly.
When the call comes say that the only time you have available is Monday evening at 9:30 PM.
then ask what the subject of the meeting will be.
If the caller does not know then say"I never go to a meeting with my head in a bag. When you can tell me the subject then I can decide if I want to go or not."