Date: October 19, 2018 08:22PM
One day, when I was alone in the house, (after I had been perusing RfM for a while and exchanging correspondence with the late, great Kathy Worthington,) I gathered up my nerve and decided to compose my letter.
I didn't bother with all the reasons I had for resigning; I figured the clerks don't read that stuff anyway. I basically said, "I'm outta here and I won't be changing my mind. Leave me alone." I used very formal, Victorian, stuffy language (which seems so much more cutting, if you see what I mean.)
my barely 18-year-old daughter breezed in at the moment I was wrapping up, and asked, "Whatcha doing?" I felt a moment of panic over how angry my husband would be if we both left, but I figured, she is old enough. She can do this. And Lord knows she wants to. She HATES church, despite being BIC.
After I printed and signed my own letter, she asked me to leave up what I had written. She put a few tweaks into it, (her own name, DOB, etc.) and printed it. She wanted to know where to send it, so I shared the info I had.
She signed and sealed her own letter, and we grinned at each other. I said, "We need to take these to the Post Office. Wanna hit Baskin Robbins afterwards, to celebrate?" She did.
We dropped our letters with a great flourish into the postboxes at the local Post Office, and then had marvelous sundaes at Baskin Robbins.
That was 14 years ago, and we both still enjoy the memory. She is actually my stepdaughter, but I raised her from the time she was in diapers, and we are very close. It is a happy memory for us both.
Over the years, her sibs have drifted away as well, including her temple-married, RM brother. My DH still believes, but he can see through a great deal of the official BS. I think that if he found another faith-based community, he would love it. When I did my stint returning to the Presbyterian faith of my childhood, he enjoyed attending that.
He was astonished to be invited to attend a monthly "Lunch Bunch" with other, retired guys from the congregation. He said warily, "But I'm not a member of your church." They told him, "We know, and we don't care. You seem like a nice guy and we'd love to have you join us." Until he was diagnosed with diabetes and had to reduce caloric intake, he enjoyed lunches with the guys. He was stunned that they didn't pressure him to join the church.