Another thread is dealing with mormon mythology, and I LOVE those ridiculous stories.

I had fun rewriting one last night. And if anyone is interested, I would be more than happy to rewrite others. If you want to send me a story, I will give it the raptorjesusification and post. (If you have the story in its full, pure form, I can glean more out of it.)

Here is the story I retold last night:


An RM is sitting in a philosophy class.

Which tells you that bad shit is going to go down. Because what mormon story ever involves anything good when you are in a class learning to think?

Anyway. The philosophy professor says that prayer is for stupid butt faces, and that god is a silly nanny.

The RM couragesly challenges this idea in front of everyone.

Not to be outdone, the evil philosophy professors laughs evily and then evilly states, "if prayer works then say a prayer that this chalk won't break when I drop it to the ground," and stretches forth his evil hand evilly.

The RM gives a humble prayer, "dear heavenly father. If thou wilst taketh a moment of thy time from nurishing and strengthening food, to show this "philosopher" that he's an ass for using the brain that thou didst grant him. Then please let the chalk go unbroken in these the latter days. Nameofjesuschristamen."

The professor drops the chalk! Gasp! And the chalk disobeyes all laws of physics and drops at an angle to slide sexfully down the professor's pants to the floor. Unharmed!!!

God 1: Philosophy 0

Did you mean to say the chalk slid sexfully or was that a freudian slip? LOL

I mean, is it prescription or from the guy down the block?