Posted by:
corrodedinnervessel
(
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Date: December 09, 2010 12:15AM
Ah, I've got a few things attributed to Churchill. First, the one you referred to:
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Woman on Street: Sir, you are drunk; very, very drunk.
Winston Churchill: Madame, you are ugly; very, very ugly.
I shall be sober in the morning.
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George Bernard Shaw once sent two tickets to the opening night of one of
his plays to Winston Churchill with the following note:
"Bring a friend, if you have one."
Churchill wrote back, returning the two tickets and excused himself as he
had a previous engagement. He also attached the following:
"Please send me two tickets for the next night, if there is one."
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These types of statements led to the following parody:
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Churchill was known to drain a glass or two and, after one
particularly convivial evening, he chanced to encounter Miss Bessie Braddock,
a Socialist member of the House of Commons, who, upon seeing his condition,
said, "Winston, you're drunk." Mustering all his dignity, Churchill drew
himself up to his full height, cocked an eyebrow and rejoined, "Shove it up
your ass, you ugly cunt."
When the noted playwright George Bernard Shaw sent him two tickets to
the opening night of his new play with a note that read: "Bring a friend, if
you have one," Churchill, not to be outdone, promptly wired back: "You and
your play can go fuck yourselves."
-- "The Churchill Wit", National Lampoon
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/09/2010 12:16AM by corrodedinnervessel.