Surely I am the most undeserving of all who call Him Lord, but still I must petition for assistance. Last night his spirit came upon me in a most strong fashion. Yeah, even my private parts did tingle so great was the spirit. And it came to pass that my soul did hunger to sing praises unto my Lord. Sadly, I realized I had no hymn to offer my Savior. For this reason I have come to converse through the veil of the web.

Our Lord, Raptor Jesus, deserves a mighty song of praise. I am willing to attempt such an undertaking but I know I will fail miserably if I try it on my own. Can any of you help? All I ask for is a simple reply to this thread. Within that reply you can list the attributes of our Lord that should be preserved for all eternity upon the servers of YouTube. Perhaps some words that rhyme or a lyrical phrase that could be set to a familiar tune. I'm kind of leaning towards "Plastic Jesus" as sung by Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke.

Your's in Raptor,

Stunted.

I tried to be a faithful and righteous disciple of Raptor.

I found I couldn't be both righteous and his disciple.

You should probably mention his sceptor...

"I'm not worthy to polish His sceptor"?

"Jealous of His mighty sceptor, it can't be called his little Raptor" ?

I have also seen reference to His flaming sword, which I'm assuming is another term for His sceptre. But it occurs to me that His sceptre/flaming sword is too holy to discuss in a public forum. (Not secret, of course, just sacred.)

I have heard it's quite something to behold, but you won't catch me next to RJ in a group hug ;)

In my overwhelming righteousness, I have in a previous thread volunteered to be between Raptor and flyboy in a group hug (or group whatever). For I have no fear of Raptor's sceptre, nay, nor yet any fear of flyboy's flaming sword. All are alike unto stb.

So, uh, I'll bring the wine coolers if Raptor brings the rubbers?

To quote you, "Giggity!"

I'm just trying to get an accurate mental image.

I'm female and 42, but the truth probably ruins everybody's fun. Let's pretend I'm Mylie Cyrus for purposes of this discussion.

I grew up on American Pie. Honey, you ain't spoilin' no one's fun.

Hmmmm... you are notching points left and right today ;)

Although an object of worship for some it seems to be neither secret nor sacred.

With which he'll change the world!
His truth laid out so clearly
Is like a flag unfurled!

When I think about his smarts-
His wisdom beyond issue,
My eyes tear up in humble joy,
I have to grab a tissue!

That's pretty bad but I gots more...

Oh crap! I want to participate but I have to leave for work in 9 minutes. Hopefully there will still be room for submissions in a few hours.

Remember that you saw it here first, folks. LOL!

Song for Lord Raptor Jesus (tune of Plastic Jesus)

I don’t care ‘bout
Global freezes,
‘s long as I’ve got
Lord Raptor Jesus
Sittin’ next to me in my car.

His breath of death is
Phosphorescent;
His mighty carc-
-ass is iridescent;
‘Cuz Raptor Jesus is a dinosaur.

Teeth are sharp and
Claws are slimy, it
Keeps them Holy
Rollers stymied.
Then we go drinkin’ at the bar.

Through Comet-strikes,
And Evolution,
Religious Right-
Wing Revolution,
With Lord Raptor Jesus I’ll go far.

...

Hat's off for that one.

That HAS to be a winner!!!

Keep 'em coming!

delightsome! ;-)

Somehow you need to include a line about his lovely mane of hair. And maybe something about his potty mouth. I shake my head sometimes when I read his thoughts, "Did he just say that?" and then I giggle incessantly.

Love the Raptor!

Praises to His Mighty Pen!
With which he'll change the world!
His truth laid out so clearly
Is like a flag unfurled!

When I think about his smarts-
His wisdom beyond issue,
My eyes tear up in humble joy,
I have to grab a tissue!

His words are truly wonderful,
And ever so profane,
They make me long to hear some more,
As flowers long for rain.

Since He was just an Egg I've been
His loyal acolyte,
I'd even clean his toilet
Any day or night!

His countenance just glows anew
With fervent Love for all,
But perhaps I am mistaken,
And He just wants to maul!

So this I say, my Deity,
My holy, scaly god,
If ya eat yer followers,
It would look mighty odd...

But such is the joy of Raptor,
How you can laugh at fools,
The persons who don't realize
That RAPTOR MAKES THE RULES.


::::::::::::::::running, dodging overripe tomatoes:::::::::::::::::::::

Good writing gives me the warm and fuzzies :)

LOL! Fantastic!

Wow. Tight. If this keeps going we are going to have a whole hymn book. I hope somebody here is an organist.

Oh Doggie! That was so good! Worthy of Lord Raptor!

Wrong spot.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2012 01:45PM by blueorchid.

My Raptor Jesus is great!!
He doesn't want hate!
And he feeds me chocolate cake...

Oh darn, the muse is gone.

;)

He's a raptor god and he's ok, he sleeps all night and spirtuly pro-creates all day.

Ill be back with verses later.

To the scepter of the east
To the staff of the west
To the flaming sword of above
To the claymore of the highlands
We kneel in obedience