Remember my teenage nephew that died unexpectedly last year? I was at my SIL's house today and she had displayed on her bookshelf a missionary nametag with my nephew's name: Elder "Smith" and the mission designation "Heavenly Mission."

It made me want to peel my skin off with a rusty potato peeler but I suppose if it comforted her ... Anyway, I didn't say anything but I found it appalling.

I've never seen or heard that.

It is creepy. I'm sorry.

ya, that doesn't sound healthy but if it's helping her relieve the trauma then maybe it's ok.

Parents sometimes do strange things when their children die, so please don't judge her. This is one of those coping mechanisms that make parents feel better and it's harmless.

Keeping a lock of hair isn't too creepy, but my mother told about her great aunt, who lost a child through a tragic accident. The little boy fell into a tub of boiling water. She saved his burn scabs.

I'm not judging her - Sorry, I thought that was clear in my original post. I do think whomever bought it for her is pretty creepy. I know she wouldn't have bought it for herself, even if she did decide to display it after she received it.

If it makes her feel better, then I'm glad for her but the whole idea that someone would market something like that or a religion that promotes that idea or that someone would think that an appropriate sympathy gift - that's a special kind of weird. I hope it doesn't catch on.

I have a friend who after her mom was cremated had a little charm made with a little of her moms remains in it. She wears it around her neck. All members of her family have done it. I find it highly disturbing and creepy. She went on and on about it and I guess because I was quiet had to ask what I thought of it. I had to tell the truth.

poor kid...

imagine trying to lie on your missionary stat reports with elohim as your mission president.

On the same theme, a phrase I find personally distasteful is "born to heaven" for miscarried babies or just when people die. I get that some people find it comforting, but it just really bugs me a lot (and I have experienced both).

A lot of cemeteries including one near me have their "baby lands" -- sections reserved just for the burial of little children. Always creeped me out a bit but then I never suffered the death of a child....

I don't mean to be flippant, but the concept escapes me entirely.

come on, don...

who's gonna teach anne frank the gospel?

Adolph Hitler, and her future sister wife Eva Braun?

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/02/1070016/-The-diary-of-Anne-Frank-Mormon-heaven

and

http://www.happletea.com/2012/02/28/consequences/

Enjoy! ;)

Pure awesome

Thanks for those images. Totally made my day!

Those are hilarious!

I have a non mo friend who's mom died about 10 years ago. Said friend wears her moms socks and comments about them being her dead moms socks. It just really rubs me the wrong way, and unfortunately after a night of drinking I told her to stop wearing her dead moms socks. It made her cry. I felt and still do feel down right awful about it. It still creeps me out, but honestly if it makes her happy then I should just be telling her what nice socks they are and how well they make her ankles look. Please don't tell her it creeps you out. Let her have the little things that help her get through the loss of her baby.

I wouldn't say anything - if it makes her feel better I suppose there are weirder things. But like those diamonds they used to market made from the ashes of your deceased relatives, some things are worse than others. Actually, those diamonds are worse than this.

Doing that is fine, but constantly mentioning it when you do is not.

Our Bishops son was killed in a car crash right before he would have left on his mission. A friend created a masterpiece of a drawing that depicted him with his name tag on a mission in the Spirit world. Nothing creepy at all about it. It was an incredible comfort for them and many others in our ward! We knew and loved that boy, he was a good friend to our son and family.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/28/2012 12:09AM by sithlord.

I'm glad they felt comforted by that thought but even as a TBM, I would have hated that picture if it were my son. But everyone mourns differently and if the artist knew the family well enough to create something that lifted their spirits, good for him/her.

I do think a drawing by an artist that knows the family would appreciate it is a better idea though than Mo-mass-marketing a cheesy nametag.

it sounds like they are working through it....I wouldn't worry too much.

Judging how a person finds comfort after losing a child is the ultimate triumph of the habit of judging superseding the natural urge to compassion over a mother suffering such a loss.

We all know it's the worse thing that can happen to you in life, bar none. I remember the physical pain of my heart actually hurting during my son's funeral and I understood for the first time why people call certain losses "heartbreaking."

You would be amazed what people to to find comfort. Grief like that is like being in excruciating pain with no relief. You just hate to wake up every day. Here are some of the things I did, which I am sure some might think are "creepy:"

*Made a pillow out of my son's favorite shirt and hugged it at night because it made me feel close to him.

*Made an album of his life and a separate one of his death (the funeral, the cemetery service, the reception, etc.). I never look at the death one but it's somehow important that I have it.

*Wrote down every memory as it came to me in a book I call "I Will Never Forget You.

*Had a shrine with incense and candles that I lit during my active grieving period. It helped me get my feelings out without which I had terrible headaches.

*Kept "evidence" that I did everything I could to help him overcome his addiction--receipts, brochures of rehabs,etc. Only recently have I been throwing these away and it's been 18 years since his death.

I think the necklaces with ashes are a wonderful idea, as is anything that helps except street drugs.

Here's what I think is creepy--

*the Mormon idea that a baby's spirit will come back in another body. I had a neighbor who drove herself mad trying to get pregnant so she could get her miscarried dead baby "back."

*The Mormon idea that death doesn't matter because we'll see them all anyway in the CK. Members demonstrate their faith by their lack of visible grieving. That is sick and unhealthy.

*The Mormon idea that if you don't pay up and overcome your sins, you will never see your dead child again. Another friend of mine had a photo of her dead 18 month old IN EVERY ROOM. I asked her why and she told me it was a reminder to be good so she could raise him in the CK.

Anagrammy

I did some of the same things, Anagrammy, and I thought I was losing my mind.

yesterday was my son's birthday. He's been gone nearly nine years now. I lit a candle and incense and spent a lot of time thinking of him and how I miss him. I can't bring myself to get rid of his belongings, it would feel too much like "erasing" his life, but they are in boxes in the back of a closet, not out on display.

The one break I will give to anyone is in how they express their grief, I don't care if they're members of the morg or not. Losing a child is the absolute worst nightmare ever and for anyone, I don't care who you are, to judge how that person grieves or what they do to get through it is detestable (sp?). I truly do wish people would have compassion and set differences aside.

I hated it when people would tell me my son is with God now or he's fighting in God's Army. WTF?

Lighten up. You don't know what she's going through and feeling. Let her grieve and find comfort in her own way.

I remember monson giving a talk where this little boy died around the same time his older brother went on a mission. He said they were both called on missions, but to different places. I find this really disturbing. Its like the church is trying to make his death all about them. Also, i find it depressing that if there really is an afterlife, there will be mormons harassing us there too.

I imagine it takes a lot of spirit missionaries, since it's something like a thousand times harder to accept The Gospel™ in the afterlife.

Depending on the age of the child it disturbs me. I really hate how kids get "claimed" for their parent's religion before they really get a chance to decide who they are.

I kept a green tee shirt of my adult son's but put away all photos.
when I cleaned out my daughter's belongings a couple of years ago, I kept some of her stuffed Teddy Bears.
what I think is creepy is my sister in law building a shrine to her son in the living room, complete with photos, flowers and inspirational prayers.
both she and I nursed our children through terminal cancer and lost the fight.
I had to take her address off my e mail, because she posted her dead son's photo on her name, and I want to forget this stuff and move on.
these losses are still the first thing we think about in the wee small hours of morning when we can't sleep, so everyone deals with it in a different manner.
My sister in law talks on the phone for hours, I read Harry Potter.
librarian

I've seen it before. It is creepy. A trend? May be.

I think it's really funny how people are saying not to judge, meanwhile condemning(judging) the OP for having an authentic opinion.
Saying "to judge like that is leftover mormonism" IS the epitome of leftover mormonism. (Oh so judgy of me!)

It is perfectly okay to have a personal opinion about someone else. It is not always okay to say it out loud or share it, which the OP didn't. Good tact.
Not everyone will approve of everyone else, and trying to force that is quite "mormoney" in itself. LOL!
Ah, projection...

I agree that the name tag is creepy, but then I really like the idea of human/pet ash jewelry. OMG I have opinions! Look out, nonconformist coming through!

The son of may former friend was stillborn. At the funeral the talks were about not crying about the loss but beeing happy that he was called to serve a heavenly mission. ... Very creepy for me :-(

There are worse things than this...and everyone deals with loss in different ways. I have pictures of my mom in her casket. Everyone year or 2 I get the urge to pull it out and look at it again...over time I forget some detail like the color of her dress and whether or not we put flowers in the casket. She had a small stuffed animal that she held alot when she was sick, it made her pain lessen a bit. We put it in with her body.