Posted by:
Greyfort
(
)
Date: December 30, 2012 10:53AM
Warning: Woman problems described below, for anyone squeamish about talking about them.
My Patriarchal Blessing said that I would marry in the temple. I suppose TBMs would argue that I left the Church, but yeah, I didn't do that officially until I was 50.
The biggest blessing fail for me was when I was diagnosed at the age of 30 with developing uterine cancer. They wanted to do a hysterectomy at that time.
But, I received several blessings, from different Priesthood holders, who all said the same thing. "You will be healed. You will bear children." A few actually said, "many children."
I believed those blessings, especially since the promises came from multiple Priesthood holders and so I told the doctors that I couldn't possibly have a hysterectomy. I asked if there was another way to deal with the problem.
I had three D&Cs (not the scriptural kind) in a year and a half, and I was put on hormone pills, which made me gain 20 lbs. I eventually underwent surgery to remove a tumour the size of a grapefruit, and I also had a few ovarian cysts removed at that time. But I still wouldn't let them do a hysterectomy because my blessings were still assuring me that I would be absolutely cured.
Finally, after 14 years of being put through so much, the doctors said, "Now is the time. We're doing that hysterectomy. You can't wait any longer." They actually scheduled the surgery for a few weeks away. They weren't kidding. They meant to do it right away.
But by this point, I was about to turn 44 (while I was in the hospital actually) and was mentally and emotionally ready to give up on the idea of getting married and having children.
I was left wondering how so many Priesthood holders could be wrong.
It makes me angry now, thinking about how I could have put my life in danger because the all-mighty Priesthood holders kept assuring me that all would be well.
Years later, my doctor said to me, "You had a tumour, pre-uterine cancer, endometriosis and ovarian cysts. The chances that you could ever have had children were little to none."
Maybe many of us who do end up escaping Mormonism just had experiences like mine, where we had to question, "Hey, what about this?" one time too many. The shelf where we placed unexplained things finally broke, which allowed our escape.
When TBMs say to me, "I've just experienced too many miracles. I cannot deny them. I KNOW it's true." I say, "Funny, I had exactly the opposite experience, where nothing was ever coming true. It seems that every time I begged for relief or help for my testimony, I was met by silence." They never know what to say to that.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2012 10:56AM by Greyfort.