Posted by:
miggols99
(
)
Date: January 27, 2013 04:17PM
After my experience in the MTC and the temple (see
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,711118,711118) and discovering the truth, I really don't want this church to be a part of my life. At the moment though things have become more and more tense, especially between the family I'm staying with and my parents.
Today was quite bad, as this morning I received a text from my mum saying "Are you going to church today?". How am I meant to reply to that?? A few minutes after I get that text I get a call from her and my dad asking if I'm going and I say yes. I did go, but it has become so painful going there. The only reason I go is because of my host family putting pressure on me to go as well as my parents.
At church bishop wanted to talk to me as he had an "impression" that he should. I didn't want to be rude so I spoke with him. He asked me if I was okay and how my testimony was blah blah and if there was anything he could do. I just said that I want to feel more comfortable but we all know that's impossible. :( He also said that my "countanance looked better since we last talked"..earlier though I looked at myself in the mirror when I used the restroom and I looked like a wreck :'( Living like this really is taking its toll..
After church on the drive back home I was asked "so how was church?". I said it was okay, and then I got back "just okay?". Then I had to explain myself..I just told them that I'm finding it difficult going especially as I don't really have many close friends there.
So what am I to do? I'm also getting pressure from the missionaries as well as they practically "forced" me to set a date for them to see me this week...I couldn't say I was busy all week!! They will be coming over for dinner on Wednesday so hopefully it will be just that - dinner and a short "message" afterwards.
As I said in my earlier post I will be moving out to live with some other students in September but that is so long away! When I'm at home with my parents the pressure becomes even more and I just don't want to live like this anymore.
What can I do?? :(
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/27/2013 04:21PM by miggols99.