Posted by:
SusieQ#1
(
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Date: March 24, 2013 03:29PM
I have found that my best relationships are based on my ability to understand, at least on some level, the other person in regards to their beliefs, their customs, their family, their particular familial dynamics, their history, their particular language, and on and on.
One of the reasons my marriage to a believing Mormon lasted for over 50 years is my willingness to understanding his perspective and religious culture as I had been immersed in it until the last 15 or so years of our marriage. I was a convert when we married in the temple. It wasn't my familial, social, cultural background. It required that I get well acquainted with his.
Later in life, I could change my mind and let him be.I understood that he would always be a believing Mormon, no matter what I chose to believe or what I shared with him. It was not always smooth sailing, but the more I let go of what I could not control, the better things were. I understood what was about him and what was about me.
He could live the 11th Article of Faith as he promised. And we could respect each other's different opinions and beliefs and perspectives.
I can understand the perspective of many different religious views. As a convert, I had some understanding of other religions before I joined the LDS Church, having grown up in a different kind of home and been very active in the church of my youth. My DNA is filled with religion: Christian ministers and missionaries for several generations.
Yes, I have a good idea of their perspective and understanding of the world. That works to my advantage.
My husband and I were such opposites, I don't think we thought alike about much of anything! I learned early on that it was imperative that I gain some understanding of his perspective of how he saw everything in his life, including Mormonism. I think he did the best he could to understand me, but I think I still baffled him, at times !:-)
Of course, I understand the perspective of LDS folks as well as possible as I was a convert. I lived the religion for over three decades as an adult as I understood it.
I may be an odd-ball here, but I have never used the term: recovery for my process leaving the LDS Church. I have called it an"Exit Process from Mormonism" which was a result of changing my mind about what I wanted to believe. I don't know anyone personally that uses that term about themselves either. Maybe it's our age group, or our perspectives.
There is no right or wrong way to leave the LDS Church/Mormonism. We do it our way. This is how I do it. It's my way.
A posting board is a very interesting place.
We share snippets of our lives - some larger than others.
We try to make sense of our lives after we changed our mind and left Mormonism for any number of reasons.
We have dozens of variables in our lives.
Many factors made my change reasonable in the most part, with a few wild and crazy parts, that I weathered.
I'm so grateful that my family has been so supportive of me and each other. It was difficult to lose their father and my husband. But, we are adapting and remembering the funny times, the fun times, and the special times.
Life is so, so, so short. My view is to find a way to make peace with all of our life.Forgive everyone everything (helps to have a bad memory)!