Posted by:
watto
(
)
Date: April 12, 2013 06:38AM
I first posted on this forum several weeks back when I poured out my heart and some of my life story (in perhaps a little too much detail) and received tremendous support and enouragement from a number of contributors who had been through it before - thank you Anagrammy et al.
I have been a frequent visitor but have seldom posted since merely enjoying reading what others are saying.
Living in the UK, it is interesting to read the experiences of exmos from Utah where you are made to feel awkward by breaking away from the church. I grew up in Africa where I always felt awkward being a member as, for the most part, there was no-one my age that I knew in the Church.
Since disclosing to my TBM wife my "concerns" about the church, it has been extremely trying for the both of us. I love her more than anything and, whilst I suspect she has some doubts now that she has been made aware of various truths behind the history of the Church, I could not see her changing her views any time soon. To her tremendous credit she agreed that we should not force the religion on our children and we agree that our two older children (14 & 13) are old enough to make the choice for themselves and we can sit down with them and explain our different views as parents. The wonderful thing is we agree that the most important thing is that, whatever their choices, they must know that we will respect them and our love for them and each other will not diminish in any way.
Now to get to my point. My wife serves on the YW presidency in our ward and one of her closest friends and confidantes is the YWP who I had always seen as a TBM but who would shake things up with the Bishop every now and again, mostly over his antiquated views on what to expect of YW.
A couple of days ago I received a text message from the YWP asking if she could meet with me, preferably alone. It was an unusual request as, apart from the usual Sunday pleasantaries at church, the only contact I had previously with her family was through my wife and our children who are good friends. It transpired that she had come across information about the church on the internet through sites like mormonthink and was very quickly coming to the conclusion that she has been duped her entire life. I felt for her as I know the turmoil she must be going through being a fully active and participating member. Unlike me, who had been inactive for some time before properly looking into the origins of the Church, she has been fully committed and has been diligent in her calling as YWP. It will thus be that much harder for her to walk away than it was for me, particularly with her daughter being in YW at the moment. She is however fortunate that her husband is a great guy who has been inactive for a while and who I suspect will not take much convincing to form the same views. At the time we spoke she had not expressed her doubts to him. We had a lengthy conversation during which we both unburdened and I think it was mutually beneficial. I was fortunate to be able to share some of the advice I have gleaned from this forum.
Whilst I sincerely feel for what the YWP is going through, I could not help but feel a little selfish optimism that perhaps this might be a catalyst for my wife's eyes being opened. It could be that she will be more open to hearing the truth from someone who she has worked so closely with in the church over the last few years than from her husband who has not been going to church for some time. My fingers are crossed. Will wait and see.