That you now consider laughable.

On more than one occasion I won the race to be the first person to change the robes to my other shoulder. Sneakily removing my slippers before the starting pistol and not untying my bakers hat helped a great deal.

HAHAHA What?! I've never done much weird stuff in the temple actually. I don't even know if that's real or not.

I allowed a same sex stranger to touch me near my groin.

What on earth was I thinking....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/12/2013 05:47AM by Stumbling.

The restroom in the Temple can be a nice quiet place for some alone time with ones self.

In the San Diego temple I approached one of the old guys and asked him how long he'd been attending the temple. 30+ years was the response and I looked at him with eyes of wonder and said, "wow. the things you must know..."

Now it cracks me up to think about it. He didn't know shit..

I folded fluffy white towels for four hours.

I bowed my head and said yes. Humbly doing everything I was asked by these servants of the Lord, yea even old temple workers.

And called on God in the Adamic language raising my hands high and lowering them as I repeated the sacred Adamic words...Pay Lay Ale.

Oh yeah, they took that part out. Maybe it wasn't so sacred.

Learned on my wedding day I wasn't marrying my husband as I thought. Silly me, I was actually marrying the church! And to add to the sacredness of the occasion, I had to ask family and close friends to wait outside in 100+ degrees.

Did you get married in the Temple in las vegas

What do you mean you were marrying the church and not your spouse? I've never been to the temple can someone please explain this? Thanks.

Temple weddings really aren't weddings. It's a "sealing," which is priesthood ordinance that's about as exciting as being ordained a deacon, or set-apart for a calling. Except, you're wearing the funny clothes and you've got "eternal" mirrors on both sides. It doesn't last very long.

The exciting (okay, controversial) parts are in the 3 hour endowment session, which most women do before the sealing. (Most of the guys and some gals did the endowment ceremony pre-mission.) Here are a couple examples:

Regarding marrying the church:

The Law of Consecration:
"All arise. Each of you bring your right arm to the square. You and each of you covenant and promise before God, angels, and these witnesses at this altar, that you do accept the law of consecration as contained in this, the book of Doctrine and Covenants [he displays the book], in that you do consecrate yourselves, your time, talents, and everything with which the Lord has blessed you, or with which he may bless you, to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, for the building up of the kingdom of God on the earth and for the establishment of Zion. Each of you bow your head and say, "Yes." "

Also noteworthy, (earlier in the session), is the Law of Obedience / The Law of the Lord. For the sisters, it instructs them to obey/follow their husbands, who follows God. Women go through the husbands to follow God:

"Sisters, arise. Each of you bring your right arm to the square. You and each of you solemnly covenant and promise before God, angels, and these witnesses at this altar that you will each observe and keep the law of the Lord, and hearken to the counsel of your husband as he hearkens to the counsel of the Father. Each of you bow your head and say “Yes." "

Note that in the previous temple version, the wording was to "obey your husband" instead of "hearken to his counsel." Regardless... the woman still needs to go through the husband to get to God, rather than dealing directly with him.

I hope I've answered, and not confused....

I spent 4 hours at a time on 2 different occasions going through every room in the temple on my hands and knees rubbing my hand across the floor.

It was during an open house and I was assigned to rip up the old carpet protecting plastic, pull out any "contaminants" that got through and then lay new plastic down so the heathen feet would not dirty the white(ish) carpet.

They didn't get revelation not to put the contaminants in the floor? How could any temple possibly need its perfect carpet redone?!

Once, when it was very cold outside, the temple offered me a warm place to take a dump. And having satisfying motions was the culmination of my spiritual experience. I bear witness of this in the name of cheese and rice, Ramen.

I would get there for first session of the day so I could look for Jesus' footprints on the oh so carefully vacuumed carpet.

Promising to give everything I owned or ever will own to the silly church.

The first time I went and those words were said I thought, what, what, what? but then I went ahead and made the promise anyway. I wish I had just got up and left---clown outfit and all.

Now I consider it laughable, mainly because my life is not filled with much material wealth (by the church's standards they would not have received a too many quarters which is what they really meant by that promise).

I do consider my life to be filled with unbelievable riches that mean tons to me. Of course, these typesof riches, it is my humble opinion, that the top 15 have put on their shelf---truth based on evidence, freedom to be my own person, honesty, and integrity.

When I was sealed in the temple to my former spouse I was in the locker room changing into the pullover white Pancho to Get washed and annoited. Your supposed to be buck naked under the robe (which I was).....well I put the Pancho on sideways. So instead of the sides being bare my complete front and back was. I didn't care..... and i thought it was on right. And seeing as I played football for many years being naked and exposed didn't bother me the least. Needless to say as I strutted that locker room and saw the shocked and horrified looks on all the old men's faces it was priceless. My (then) father in law was my escort and he saw me and just started laughing his butt off. He quickly rearranged the robe And the show went on.

You should have raced around with your sacred cape trailing in the wind.

Released a rancid SBD

I had to look it up.

http://www.internetslang.com/SBD-meaning-definition.asp

Put on funky clothes,moved funky clothes to other side. made life altering promises w/absolutly on proof of authenity. Rehearsed slitting my throat,disemballing myself etc. Let perfect straingers touch me in places I was taught NOT to be touch.Hmmmso many memories,so many choices....I think the easier question would be what non offensive things did you do in the temple.

Raise my arm to the square and give an oath of obedience to my new husband, who, while quoting D & C 132 felt sanctioned to beat me, strangle me, or do anything he wanted to do to me. He said I was his possession, and that I was to obey. If I cried or objected, the beatings would escalate.

INSANE CULT, and I was insane to stay in that eternal marriage for 14 months of torture from which I have never fully recovered.

Oh, the laughable part--everyone felt so sorry for me when I told them I was getting a divorce, yet being free of that thug and free of my role of "Mormon wife" was one of the happiest days of my life. Also, there was pity during the years I was a single woman, whereas, for me, being single is true bliss! Ha-ha!