Posted by:
Nightingale
(
)
Date: July 15, 2013 03:20PM
I came late to SLDrone's party today. From some of the comments after the fact I expected to find a bloodbath on his thread about recovery. That can happen if there is a huge difference of opinion on a hot topic. In the end, I thought the responses were fairly mild. Maybe SLDrone got a bit of a pass from people who remember him from his posting years here. I do appreciate Mak holding Drone's feet to the fire. There is no rank or privilege here, hopefully, and nobody is above being challenged on their views.
For reference, here's Drone's thread about recovery:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,956130A comment by anagrammy is surely going to be the best laugh of the day:
"I have embraced the crazy Mormon me of the past and am now able to appreciate some good things I got from being dominated by a patriarchal cadre of self-serving douchbags."
I had a good long belly laugh at this remark. I find that comments some may call "irreverent" give me the best laughs. Maybe because I spent so many years being meek and obedient. Maybe because reverence is overrated. Maybe there just isn't enough irreverence about to keep the score even. Maybe because it's just a hilarious spoofy kind of thing to say. There are layers that perhaps only exmos will "get", which is one of the reasons ana gives for participating at RfM for many years; it's not a measure of a recovery that is "too slow" but rather a recognition and appreciation of the strength and benefits of mixing with those who get your jokes without explanation and who know the lingo and understand the sacrifices and wounds and ongoing pain incurred from experiences that in many cases weren't even of our own choosing. (But even so, speaking of choice, converts should get a break as well. Sure, they chose the Mormon font, compared to BICs who were pushed in, but thereby hangs a tale for another day).
For me, a convert who has been reading RfM for 10 years now and posting for a slightly shorter time, I've never considered that I need "recovery" in the medical or psychological sense of the word. But no doubt talking over the experiences, my own and those of others, has been helpful as well as interesting, enjoyable, fun, informative, insightful and enlightening. I've never thought there is a time limit or expiry date on my RfM ticket! Until, that is, I don't find anything new to read or appealing to write about. Or until they kick me out for being stale-dated. :)
Lately I have written about subjects that felt too personal or painful for me before. Interesting to note that it has taken me 10 years to get there. I have recently posted details about being a JW. Previously I was too embarrassed to admit readily or frequently that I was a double-dipper, joining not one but two cult-like groups (as others see both JW'ism and moism). For various reasons I didn't gravitate to something simple like any one of dozens of decent-enough mainstream Protestant denominations. I have also been able to recount in more detail my very unhappy baptism experience (where immediately before the font time the bishop, who I had never met, was "inspired" to judge that I or my friend who was baptising me, or both of us, were not worthy to participate and accused us of having an affair - my friend was married). Too, I have participated in some of the threads about women being abused/attacked by men. Call me slow but this is how long it's taken to move from writing about non-personal to personal topics. So, in my experience, RfM's gifts just keep on giving. Its usefulness spans a wide range of needs.
I remember how helpful it was for many RfMers in the past to speak to SLDrone and get his perspective on things, as a former MP. There are SO MANY ex-missionaries here and its easy to see why it would be great for them to get a chance to see things from the viewpoint of an exmo who was an MP, an important figure in their mo-mishie lives. I'd love someone to explain to me, for instance, how an MP I knew could leave a missionary in a domestic abuse situation, denying that it was occurring, when I had the hospital bills to prove it. Something to do with being Mormon I expect <sarcasm>.
I do know how our words and ideas can come back to bite us, often out of the blue. It's interesting to see how people perceive us, sometimes reading something we didn't intend or didn't even write. Maybe it would have been easier for some of us to understand SLDrone's points if he was a more frequent poster, so we'd be used to his style or opinions. My post isn't meant as criticism of him. Mostly I just wanted to say I expected a bloodbath but didn't really see it, a tribute to SLD and the contributors to his thread. And also that ana's comment really tickled my funnybone, and it applies to far more situations than Mormonism! I might have to pin it to my wall. :)
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2013 03:30PM by Nightingale.