Posted by:
1997resignee
(
)
Date: July 17, 2013 09:56AM
I resigned back in 1997, and have always been grateful for people like Eric Kettunen and Richard Packham for the invaluable information and tools they provided then, and continue to provide now, regarding Mormonism. My summary is at
http://www.exmormon.org/whylft73.htmOn Tuesday evening I received a short email from a former LDS missionary to the Porto Portugal mission at the time I served there from 1988 to 1990. In his short note he inquired: "Have you considered coming back to the Church?"
Since I am recovering from a lithotripsy procedure to eliminate a kidney stone, I did not receive his question until this morning. I am sharing this here as some of you may receive similar inquiries as the LDS folks may start contacting you if you have posted information at this site, or similar sites. While this type of contact is rare for me, I always respond. Here is my answer to the interrogatory:
Good morning J,
My reasons for having my name removed from the membership roles of the church, at the time were many fold (and are still relevant today); ultimately, it boiled down to my personal opinion and belief that the institution is not what it claims to be. Joseph Smith was merely an extremely charismatic charlatan, so much so, that many have overlooked (or not realized because they have not more closely examined his history) Joseph Smith’s pronounced narcissistic and egomaniacal traits. In reviewing more contemporaneous religious cult figures, Joseph Smith seems to be of the mold of Jim Jones, David Koresh, Warren Jeffs, and others like them.
The corner-stone of the LDS faith, as per the late Ezra Taft Benson, is the Book of Mormon. Back in 1997 I came to the realization that it was a work of fiction – as it was full of anachronisms, plagiarism, and seemed to be heavily influenced by the work of others contemporaneous with Joseph Smith. I spent a great deal of time in 1996 and 1997 at the University of Texas library reviewing a number of original publications by the LDS church – A Comprehensive History of the Church of JC of LDS, Journals of Discourse, The History of Joseph Smith by his Mother, etc.; actually, I had reviewed these types of historical LDS materials quite a bit while attending law school at Texas Tech University in Lubbock from 1993 to 1996 as part of preparing countless elder’s quorum lessons during that period. The historical and doctrinal issues that I encountered are plethora, and for me, were unreconciliable.
All of these sources raised questions in my mind as to why they tended to differ significantly in content from what I had been provided in years of seminary and institute course offerings. My conclusion then was that the LDS church was a fraud, and as mainstream is it would like to appear, tends to deploy cult-like tactics in recruitment and retention of members (just like Scientologists, Jehova’s Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventists, and others do). If I had a testimony today, it would be more on the lines of how grateful I am to have discovered the LDS fraud – that Joseph Smith was no more a prophet of God or of a restoration than was Jim Jones or David Koresh. I learned that making significant life-changing decisions on the basis of an emotion was unwise as emotions are not a reliable barometer or truth. I learned that decisions should better be driven by analysis of facts, using logic, inductive and deductive reasoning; there is a place for emotions, but, it should be in the context of rational, analytical thought.
As a missionary, I trusted and believed what had been handed down to me from multigenerational paternal and maternal lines and was too superficial in simply accepting what I was told by my family, LDS church leadership, and LDS friends and acquaintances. There were times before my happy exodus in which I had to soberly look at myself in the mirror and question – “Mike – you’re either all the way in, or you should more thoroughly explore these doctrinal and historical LDS problems to get all the way out.” I am happy to have opted for the latter.
I have always tried to be true to myself – to be honest and develop and demonstrate integrity in my interactions with others. From that perspective, I do not regret having been an LDS missionary; however, from the perspective of knowing what I know now, I deeply regret that I was not engaged in something more useful during those two years – something more humanitarian and universal (more on the lines of a Peace Corps assignment).
While in law school, I was part of a small LDS group that met socially regularly. On one occasion, we all tried to describe one another with one word. The one word that was used to describe me at that time, that I will always remember was – “serendipity”.
One serendipitous episode in my life was in 1997 when I discovered others like me who had significant questions about the LDS church’s doctrines and history. I was fascinated at the information available and how it was invaluable to me – information developed and published by Richard Packham, an “exmormon” website with email listserves spearheaded by Eric Kettunen, and many others. More than sixteen years later, the Exmormon.org website is going strong and there are many other sites dedicated to exposing the issues that those inclined to leave Mormonism for historical and doctrinal reasons choose to make their break. It has been interesting to see these websites flourish; similarly, since that time it has been interesting to see publication of books like “An Insider’s View of Mormon Origins” by Grant Palmer, “Losing a Lost Tribe” by Simon Southerton, and many others (such as “Heaven Up Here” by John Williams).
It has been my personal serendipity to unlock a very limited world view by opening my eyes to what I believe are the countless facts that reinforce (at least for me) that the philosophy and religion in which I was immersed as a youth, is based upon bad theology and a dishonest self-portrayal of its history. I was 30 years old when I left the LDS church; and, in many ways, I was fortunate to get a fresh start. Since that time, I have happily married (10 years ago as of August 29th of this year), have a beautiful four-year old daughter, and will be eligible to retire from employment as an executive in Texas state government in about 7 years. Life is good – and – I continue to experience serendipity as it continues.
This was a long way to answer your question of whether I have thought about going back to the LDS church. The short answer is, no, I have not – because it has never been, and never will be, what it proclaims to be.
Sincerely,
Michael J. Jensen (Mike)