I resigned back in 1997, and have always been grateful for people like Eric Kettunen and Richard Packham for the invaluable information and tools they provided then, and continue to provide now, regarding Mormonism. My summary is athttp://www.exmormon.org/whylft73.htm

On Tuesday evening I received a short email from a former LDS missionary to the Porto Portugal mission at the time I served there from 1988 to 1990. In his short note he inquired: "Have you considered coming back to the Church?"

Since I am recovering from a lithotripsy procedure to eliminate a kidney stone, I did not receive his question until this morning. I am sharing this here as some of you may receive similar inquiries as the LDS folks may start contacting you if you have posted information at this site, or similar sites. While this type of contact is rare for me, I always respond. Here is my answer to the interrogatory:

Good morning J,

My reasons for having my name removed from the membership roles of the church, at the time were many fold (and are still relevant today); ultimately, it boiled down to my personal opinion and belief that the institution is not what it claims to be. Joseph Smith was merely an extremely charismatic charlatan, so much so, that many have overlooked (or not realized because they have not more closely examined his history) Joseph Smith’s pronounced narcissistic and egomaniacal traits. In reviewing more contemporaneous religious cult figures, Joseph Smith seems to be of the mold of Jim Jones, David Koresh, Warren Jeffs, and others like them.

The corner-stone of the LDS faith, as per the late Ezra Taft Benson, is the Book of Mormon. Back in 1997 I came to the realization that it was a work of fiction – as it was full of anachronisms, plagiarism, and seemed to be heavily influenced by the work of others contemporaneous with Joseph Smith. I spent a great deal of time in 1996 and 1997 at the University of Texas library reviewing a number of original publications by the LDS church – A Comprehensive History of the Church of JC of LDS, Journals of Discourse, The History of Joseph Smith by his Mother, etc.; actually, I had reviewed these types of historical LDS materials quite a bit while attending law school at Texas Tech University in Lubbock from 1993 to 1996 as part of preparing countless elder’s quorum lessons during that period. The historical and doctrinal issues that I encountered are plethora, and for me, were unreconciliable.

All of these sources raised questions in my mind as to why they tended to differ significantly in content from what I had been provided in years of seminary and institute course offerings. My conclusion then was that the LDS church was a fraud, and as mainstream is it would like to appear, tends to deploy cult-like tactics in recruitment and retention of members (just like Scientologists, Jehova’s Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventists, and others do). If I had a testimony today, it would be more on the lines of how grateful I am to have discovered the LDS fraud – that Joseph Smith was no more a prophet of God or of a restoration than was Jim Jones or David Koresh. I learned that making significant life-changing decisions on the basis of an emotion was unwise as emotions are not a reliable barometer or truth. I learned that decisions should better be driven by analysis of facts, using logic, inductive and deductive reasoning; there is a place for emotions, but, it should be in the context of rational, analytical thought.

As a missionary, I trusted and believed what had been handed down to me from multigenerational paternal and maternal lines and was too superficial in simply accepting what I was told by my family, LDS church leadership, and LDS friends and acquaintances. There were times before my happy exodus in which I had to soberly look at myself in the mirror and question – “Mike – you’re either all the way in, or you should more thoroughly explore these doctrinal and historical LDS problems to get all the way out.” I am happy to have opted for the latter.

I have always tried to be true to myself – to be honest and develop and demonstrate integrity in my interactions with others. From that perspective, I do not regret having been an LDS missionary; however, from the perspective of knowing what I know now, I deeply regret that I was not engaged in something more useful during those two years – something more humanitarian and universal (more on the lines of a Peace Corps assignment).

While in law school, I was part of a small LDS group that met socially regularly. On one occasion, we all tried to describe one another with one word. The one word that was used to describe me at that time, that I will always remember was – “serendipity”.

One serendipitous episode in my life was in 1997 when I discovered others like me who had significant questions about the LDS church’s doctrines and history. I was fascinated at the information available and how it was invaluable to me – information developed and published by Richard Packham, an “exmormon” website with email listserves spearheaded by Eric Kettunen, and many others. More than sixteen years later, the Exmormon.org website is going strong and there are many other sites dedicated to exposing the issues that those inclined to leave Mormonism for historical and doctrinal reasons choose to make their break. It has been interesting to see these websites flourish; similarly, since that time it has been interesting to see publication of books like “An Insider’s View of Mormon Origins” by Grant Palmer, “Losing a Lost Tribe” by Simon Southerton, and many others (such as “Heaven Up Here” by John Williams).

It has been my personal serendipity to unlock a very limited world view by opening my eyes to what I believe are the countless facts that reinforce (at least for me) that the philosophy and religion in which I was immersed as a youth, is based upon bad theology and a dishonest self-portrayal of its history. I was 30 years old when I left the LDS church; and, in many ways, I was fortunate to get a fresh start. Since that time, I have happily married (10 years ago as of August 29th of this year), have a beautiful four-year old daughter, and will be eligible to retire from employment as an executive in Texas state government in about 7 years. Life is good – and – I continue to experience serendipity as it continues.

This was a long way to answer your question of whether I have thought about going back to the LDS church. The short answer is, no, I have not – because it has never been, and never will be, what it proclaims to be.

Sincerely,
Michael J. Jensen (Mike)

Thank you so much for sharing that. So well said.

That's a great letter, Mr. Jensen!

How did he get your contact details?

Last year there was a thread about Mission Presidents in which I participated. I included my name and email address hoping that a former missionary companion would get contact me and let me know how he had come to the same conclusions that I had. That thread is: http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,557206,557822#msg-557822

A number of other former missionaries who served in the same mission around the same time also sent me short notes.

I presume that is how my contact information was gathered - from that post from a year ago. What that means is there are former missionary colleagues who may be reading archived materials at this site. And if so - I think that's great as even the most ardent believer will be exposed to some great information at this website.

I love reading something that concise. What a perfect response.

Very well written. He may not agree with your decision but there can be no complaints at all that you've just left on a whim.

Thank you for posting your letter and the link to your exit summary. Very nicely done.

Excellent summary!

The answer they could really understand is "HELL NO!"

There are some literary gems in here that capture my feelings exactly. I hope you don't mind me paraphrasing a few of them in my letter to my parents I'm drafting, explaining my recent resignation. All the best

>>> “Mike – you’re either all the way in, or you should more
>>> thoroughly explore these doctrinal and historical LDS problems >>> to get all the way out.” I am happy to have opted for the latter.

I would either delete or rephrase this part. To me it sounds like you were looking for a reason (i.e. and excuse) not to believe. I would say something along the lines, that your thirst for truth is what lead you to where you are now. And if the church really was true you needed to know for sure.

I'd also add that you studied ALL sides, both critical and apologetic, so you know the issues and arguments and aren't simply being deceived out of ignorance.

I would also include a link to MormonThink.com and cite it as a website from Mormons and ex-Mormons that try to present a more honest and objective view of Mormon history and practice.

But seriously, won't you come back?

(joking)

The notion that we would decide to come back merely because someone asked us is frustrating, even a little insulting. It suggests they think we made this choice lightly and for trivial reasons.

Many mormons really don't understand us or why we left.

Curious if the former mish companion asked you why you left or just invited you back.

Neat (now that word just popped out and takes me back to my high school days) that you took the time to share your feelings about leaving the church whether he asked you or not.

Enjoyed your concise and well-written words----

Their response will be to ask if you would consider taking a building cleaning assignment.

I salute you, Mr. Jensen. Fantastic letter!

UPDATE: I received a response from "J" to my email as follows:
That answers the question I had, for sure. And I like words, too—it’s hard to get away from them in this profession, as we are “wordsmiths” of sorts. Garner’s “Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage” is about as good as it gets for a lawyer. I believe he is from down in Texas like you. In any event, it sounds like you are set in your beliefs, and I respect that. I’m interested to know what your beliefs are, as opposed to what they are not, if you care to share. J

FOLLOW-UP RESPONSE:
Good afternoon J,

Normally I am pretty occupied with life and work, but, two days ago I had lithotripsy to break up a sizeable kidney stone so I have time at home to recuperate. I no longer actively practice law, but, I do maintain my Texas license and state bar membership. I see that you are an experienced estate planning and trust practitioner; had I elected to continue a legal career, that is what I preferred myself - estate planning (much more than family law - which would have provided a constant stream of clients). I have spent the last 16 years employed by the state of Texas in various capacities - none as an attorney - but mostly as an administrator over finance, procurement/contract, and budgetary matters. My current role for the past four years is that of CFO at XXXX.



My wife is the true accountant in the family. She was born in France to Russian professors, raised in Kazakhstan where her maternal grandparents were influential in establishing the country's legal system, and earned her bachelors and masters degrees in economics and accounting (fields in which her father was a leading USSR academic expert). I mention my wife, V, because her background is sharply different than my own (and vastly more interesting); while she has strong cultural and familial ties, particularly on her maternal side, she was raised in an environment that placed a premium value on family, duty, morality, integrity, education, professional accomplishment, sharing and mentoring. These type of traits and characteristics were fostered without the need for a formal or informal religious structure.

My core beliefs are simple:

-I value integrity (which can encompass many things - being honest, being moral, being ethical, etc.).

-I believe in doing the "right thing" even when it is not the easiest choice.

-I believe in doing good for goodness sake (as the song "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" states) and in seeking motivation in taking positive action (good action) regardless of potential outcomes. Good for goodness sake is not driven by a "reward" or "punishment" mentality. A corollary is to help others when positioned to do so without any expectation of reciprocity, reward, or praise. Performing small, medium, or large acts of kindness and assistance are important and healthy (especially when they can be done anonymously).

-I am a man of my word and value the trust that is earned from others by being honest and approachable.

-I believe in accountability (which means learning from my mistakes as well as from my successes), and as a corollary, I believe in "doing no harm" (specifically to avoid "intentional" actions that harm others, but also actions that might cause unintentional harm). I believe in admitting mistakes and mitigating any harm that I might have had a hand in causing.

-I believe in responsibility and in being a good steward (whether in a professional role, or in the role of husband or father or other family affinity).

-I believe in fairness, justice, and equality. While I believe in forgiveness, it can mean many different things to different people. I have never subscribed to a strict mosaic "eye for an eye" perspective; and, I suspect, under some circumstances, I could not subscribe to a categorical "turn the other check" or strict "forgive and forget" perspective either.

-I believe in love of "family" and of "country". I love my wife and I love my daughter (the best thing that ever happened to me and that continues to provide the greatest joy is watching my daughter grow up). My vocation/profession is merely a vehicle to provide for my family. Even though I am not particularly social, I believe in community and believe in public service and in being a productive member of society.

-I value nature and its healing properties and feel a stewardship toward conservation of natural, historical, and cultural resources.

This short list could go on and on and transform into a much longer one. Things of value, such as honesty, morality, ethical conduct, family, education, knowledge, etc. tend to be of value to most human beings regardless of religious affiliation or philosophy.

I could apply various labels of "atheist" "agnostic" or "non-theistic" - but, these do not adequately describe my specific personal values and my specific moral code. I remember back in elementary school and middle school when my class studied Greek and Roman mythology; I thought it peculiar that those people worshiped and believed as they did. Now as I look at modern religion, including the LDS religion, it strikes me that the "new mythology" is not much different than the old mythology (just variations on ancient themes and some innate need by humans to relate to a "higher power" in a way that is familiar or similar or comforting to us human beings).

I hope this provides some insight as to what I believe, as opposed to what I do not.

Thank you for your questions and your interest in hearing what is important to me.

I wish you continued success with your career and your family.

Sincerely,

Michael J. Jensen (Mike)

It would be unfortunate if a clear, uniform message were not developed to address the ad hoc, engagements resigned members of the Mormon cult will receive through the current Social Media campaign.

Now would be a time to demonstrate to Mormons we are organizing/organized and not just a random group of sinful malcontents.

That would be a powerful message. A uniform response.