Posted by:
munchybotaz
(
)
Date: July 30, 2013 12:03PM
but all I specifically remember is that I'm interesting enough for Satan, or at least one of his very scary minions, to follow around.
I had to attend early morning seminary. Well, I didn't really have to, but it was a way to get a ride to school instead of walking 1.9 miles. At the time I thought it was a mile, but Google Maps didn't exist in the late 1970s. It felt like a long walk, okay? So I got up at 4 a.m. (because I was an even worse hair babe than I am now and it took me 2 hours to get ready) and went to seminary.
The teacher, Sister F., was a kook who claimed to have psychic powers. She was always going on about her visions and things she "saw" and "knew." (Funny how no one's parents complained about *that.*) She and her homely husband, Bob, had no children of their own and I think regarded me as a project. Bob got me a job at a dental lab, working for this hippy evangelical Christian guy named Mack who was the brother of the impossibly handsome dentist that the lab supported. The impossibly handsome dentist also had a hunky partner. I can still see the tears streaming down Bob's cheeks, giving me a talking-to after the other lab tech, Jerry, apparently felt guilty (even though nothing happened) and confessed to Bob that he and I had gotten drunk at the impossibly handsome and hunky dentists' office Christmas party.
Except for the impossible handsomeness and hunkiness, it wasn't very much fun working at the dental lab, and I was eventually fired for writing "f*** this" in teensy-weensy letters on a note pad near the phone. Only I didn't use asterisks. Up to the day he fired me, Mack was always hassling me about Mormonism. One day he gave me some pamphlets, and Bob told Sister F., who asked me to bring them to class.
Then she sort of like forgot to take responsibility when the other kids' parents called mine to complain about me bringing anti-Mormon literature to class.
Anyway, she was a kook. One day she gave me a ride to school and, while she had me trapped in her station wagon, told me that a big, black, scary evil spirit had accompanied *someone* (I got the impression it was me) to class that morning. It was so evil and so scary, it might have been Satan himself! Sister F. trembled and prayed with all her might until it went away.
Sister F. and Bob are now on Facebook. Judging by her wall, she's still a kook, and Bob is as homely as ever, and it appears they reproduced.
Freaks.