Yesterday we got a call from the ward exec sec for a worthiness interview for one of my kids. This seems like yet another good example of a cult-like activity, constantly on your back making sure you follow.

The "worthiness" of my kids is none of their business. It is my business as a parent, but I don't even like the word anyway. We are good parents, we don't need some well intended interfering "authority" to come in and grill us.

Last time the kids were interviewed the Bish asked questions including: "How many times a week do you have family prayer and scripture study." This question is clearly directed at parents and if the kids answers "no." that potentially puts the parents in a bad spot.

A few years ago, one of my kids went in for a baptism for the dead interview and was asked how much tithing they paid. My kid answered honestly and said "none". Instead of saying "that's okay, next time you come to church see what you can do," they denied the recommend. As we walked out the church I asked what she learned from the experience and she more or less said; "you have to pay to attend the temple." I immediately went home, got $20 and took it back up to the church, and with me glaring at them they gave have her the recommend. I would not do that now because I do not want my kids wasting their time "dunking the dead," but this was a crazy experience I thought I would share and get off my chest.

The Mormon Church is clearly a cult!

It seems cult-like because it is.

How did you respond to the interview request?

Thank God for caller ID. I saw the Exec Sec was calling and let it go. He left a message about the interview. We will be gone for a couple of weeks so maybe they will forget.

If not for my wife (not quite out yet but close) and personal circumstances, I would never allow it. Instead I have to play some stupid game. I'd like to just tell them to F-off.

to being and being supervised by the Church leadership, to live up to someone else's expecations and demands, have no personal boundaries, feel obligated to answer to someone else, and have that all seem normal to them.

Also as a parent, you are allowed to babysit the Church's Children.

Great post. No boundaries etc., its ridiculous and very manipulative. Once you step out of Plato's cave you clearly see it, it's just convincing others that is hard, but I'm working on it.

I think the $20 you paid was worth every penny. I bet your child understood more than most adults do that the temple is pay to play. Basically you bought him a ticket and he learned the true meaning of tithing. Worth every penny.

darkprincess Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think the $20 you paid was worth every penny. I
> bet your child understood more than most adults do
> that the temple is pay to play. Basically you
> bought him a ticket and he learned the true
> meaning of tithing. Worth every penny.

Thanks - I know she understood because I made damn sure she did.

This topic has had me seething for awhile now. My daughter only told me this story two years ago but it happened 15 years-ago. She didn't tell me what happened earlier because she didn't want to cause a "ruckus" in the family and she knew I would. Fifteen years didn't stop me.

Was living the I-15 corridor at the time. I took my shy but very intelligent, 13 year-old daughter to visit cousins in Idaho for a week. While there my aunt, her great aunt, decided it would be a good thing for all the girls to go be dead dunked at the IF temple. She arranged for an interview with her bishop so my daughter could go. My daughter went and was okay with going along with it until the day they were to go to the dunking. When the day arrived my daughter refussed to go. My rabid, TBM, super judgmental, "aunthole" went barking crazy calling my daughter names and insisting she go confess her sins to the bishop. The bishop apparently then grilled her about her worthiness and morality and about the how degrading a thing masturbation was and that she needed to apologize to her aunt for being disrespectful by not going to get dunked. My daughter although in tears refused to talk to any of them and as soon as she was able called me to go get her. All of this was done without my knowlege.

The refusal to go or to respond was because as a 13 year-old she had started her period at that time. She was already a very shy girl, she knew how to take care of the physical part of becoming a young woman. She was no way prepared to deal with the rantings and ravings of a psycotic "aunthole" and tell a man she didn't know she was now menstruating.

Thank goodness our extended families would not do anything like this, but we have people in our ward that I'm sure think we are horrible parents and they know what is best for our kids. Our daughter went with relatives on vaca the same week as girls camp and we got the stink eye for that one.

We also did not make our kids go on the idiotic trek. What a stupid waste of time. At least go climb a peak or do something fun, rather than stomping through the brush in Wyo in August. Good God!

Parents are lucky to know the bish is planning an interrogation of their child. Often, kids are brought in and questioned and the parents only learn about it later.

You are so wise to be concerned about this practice. I hope you'll be able to take measures to prevent them asking your child about personal family business and other even more personal activities which are no one's business.

Knowing what I learned here, I would NEVER allow a child I cared about to undergo one of these interviews alone. Some RfMers say we should prepare kids to refuse to answer inappropriate questions.

I agree. But that isn't good enough. Very few children would be able to stonewall an adult authority figure in a one on one face off. I think parents need sit in on these bishop interviews if the family isn't ready to stop attending altogether.

If I went on with the kids for the interview that would be a BIG red flag to the powers that be. I can't see that happening with us. We would be totally out before than will happen.

An increasing number of parents are attending their children's interviews with the bishop.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2013 05:02PM by summer.

'I promised Hector that I'd sit in with him for his little visit with you. Don't worry, I'll try to stay out of the way back here in this chair. I do this with the teacher as well and he/she loves that I take an interest."

Great idea. If forced into it, I will follow this advice. I'll take my phone and surf the rfm page while I sit in the back of the office.

Why isn't the masturbation interrogation illegal?

If not, it should be.

This just reminded me of going in for tithing settlement with me, my wife, and our two year old.

My wife and I were full tithe payers and our two year old paid zero (obviously).

I shit you not...The bishop asked if we could pay $.50 or $1.00 or something in our kids name so he could be a full tithe payer, too. I told him our kid didn't have any income so 10% of zero is zero. He is a full tithe payer. Bishop then said that he couldn't mark my son as a full tithe payer if he didn't pay any tithing. I rolled my eyes and left it at that (without paying). Serious f-ing idiot.

order66 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This just reminded me of going in for tithing
> settlement with me, my wife, and our two year
> old.
>
> My wife and I were full tithe payers and our two
> year old paid zero (obviously).
>
> I @#$%& you not...The bishop asked if we could pay
> $.50 or $1.00 or something in our kids name so he
> could be a full tithe payer, too. I told him our
> kid didn't have any income so 10% of zero is zero.
> He is a full tithe payer. Bishop then said that
> he couldn't mark my son as a full tithe payer if
> he didn't pay any tithing. I rolled my eyes and
> left it at that (without paying). Serious f-ing
> idiot.


We had an experience a long time ago when we had little kids and my wife was not working. I think we paid something like 4K that year, and when we went in for the interview, he looked at the 4K, looked at me, looked at the kids and said: "If you ever need assistance just let me know." Our kids did not ever attend T-settlement with us again. Little did the bish know we ever did pay the "gross." He is still a total idiot. Thank God for paying by internet instead of through the ward. Now all I do is bow my head and say "yes" I am a full tither. Then we walk out and laugh our asses off. No guilt here.

And some say bishops don't make these rules up but follow the handbook.

*

You can't see, or hear, or shake hands with God Himself - but you do see, hear and shake hands with The Bishop who is, basically, your "Assigned Local God".

God can't personally say that you are worthy - so it's The Bishop who says you are worthy.

Obviously, God is more important than parents, teachers, doctors, or any child counselor, so (in a young person's mind) The Bishop, as "God's Personal Representative", replaces all of these other people in importance and authority.

This is especially so when the child's parents acquiesce to the idea.

The potential for psychological damage in astounding. Especially when The Bishop is just some neighbor from down the street who has no exceptional training or skills, who may be a self-important Alpha-male, and who truly DOES believe that whatever he happens to say must, indeed, be "God's Revealed Will".

If Mormonism is true, then God simply wouldn't allow Him to be wrong! And His Alpha-male, local priesthood superiors are requiring Him to believe that is the case -- and to play His God-role well.

...But who stands up for the poor child?

*

I agree this has a long lasting affect on kids. My younger kids are getting a much different experience/education about this than my older kids (we trash the hell out of the "authority" when it acts manipulative). One reason we are not out is because of how the spouses of my older kids might react.