Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 

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13 years ago
Cheryl
But I'm not convinced that this kind of "testing" is good and appropriate in a loving relationship, not that I'd blame someone who felt otherwise and tried it. I think I'd probably just lay it out, "If I was leaving the church and unwilling to marry in the temple, would you still be as interested in pursuing a longterm relationship with me? Is it me as a person, how I look, thin
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13 years ago
Cheryl
Some people who were NEVER exposed to mormonism will seek it out, convert, and become fanatically TBM. Others who were BIC and received daily doses of mormonism will leave it. Influences in childhood are important, but those ealy experiences don't determine how anyone will later intrepret their upbringing or choose to live in adulthood.
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13 years ago
Cheryl
It's long long time before she will even be in middle school, so being a grownup or maturing into old age is far far away. No need to think or worry about it now. Then change the subject and talk about the here and now. Talk about fun things and brain storm favorite foods, colors, clothes, TV shows, toys, holidays, music, and friends.
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13 years ago
Cheryl
I'm so glad you're protecting your child. That's even more important than keeping your wife happy. It must be hard for her to believe this situation. : (
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13 years ago
Cheryl
DH and I asked the police for help with mormon harassment. The chief did write a letter and sent it to the bish, the SP, and the MP, telling them to keep local mormons off out property. For us, this was easier and cheaper than going through the legal system to get a court order. Not all local police departments would step in to help in this situation. It might depend on how busy they were, how
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13 years ago
Cheryl
didn't click for me when I first read the subline so I didn't reply right away. My warmest thoughts to you and your husband. I hope he's in Germany now, in good care, and starting to recuperate physically and emotionally. I'll be thinking about you, and I appreciate your post. Nice of you to let us know what's happening. Take care.
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13 years ago
Cheryl
It's a good thing. That's how we and they learn. I don't agree that *all* tribes do this equally and if they did, so what? Just because *all* teen girls tend to giggle, doesn't mean that we or they can't mention it. And it doen't mean that a teacher can't ask them to stop if they're doing it during a class lecture. Everybody does it is the worst excuse there is for destructive behaviors. *C
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13 years ago
Cheryl
Your attitude reflects a huge step in recovery! Congratulations on learning to be real and authentic. The rest of us have a lot to learn from your example. I'd like to point out something else about the woman who showed up at your door. She assumed she knew what you were thinking and feeling and responded inappropriately because she got it wrong. This muddled communication is common among
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13 years ago
Cheryl
n/t
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13 years ago
Cheryl
As are present day TBMs.
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13 years ago
Cheryl
I've been out of the morg since 1969 and I'm still elated when I think about it on Sunday. : )
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13 years ago
Cheryl
Is the mormon church harassing people where you live while your landlord and the police refuse to help? And your wife is planning to take this up with the bish who might influence her status in the US?
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13 years ago
Cheryl
It's embarrassing to learn of "ugly Americans" going into other lands. Sorry about that. : (
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13 years ago
Cheryl
Cults set people up. The primary directive in the morg is to build and reatain membership. They don't have the power to fine or jail people who leave or pay them money to stay, so they use peer pressure as manipulation, in other words, lovebombing and shunning. Your former friend as a newly returned mishie was just following his cult programming. The gossips gave him ammo to use against you an
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13 years ago
Cheryl
into thin air. Jenn, you're dealing with a health issue and that's more than enough for anyone. It's terrible that your family is too damaged by mormonism to step in and help when you need them. I hope your husband will have a talk with his mother and let her know that you need help. She must have a heart and you're not asking her to do nursing care, just take time with the kids and maybe d
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13 years ago
Cheryl
If your son wants to be in scouting, could you find a nonmo group for him to join? Local ward policy and the personalities of those in charge determine how aggressively your child will be pursued. In extreme cases, local mormons have sent missionaries to talk to young children without telling the parents. They have done this at a neighbor's house or on the route from school to home. In one cas
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13 years ago
Cheryl
You must be the extremely generous techie who worked so hard to pull off this miracle. Sending lavish praise and gratitude your way!
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13 years ago
Cheryl
You learned these lessons early, now it's his turn. His experience reminds me of what happened with my parents many years ago. DH, my young son, and I returned home from a Suday outing to find my parents sitting in their car, fuming, and waiting for us. They said they'd arrived two or three hours earlier, hungry, tired, and in need of a bathroom. My father tried to jimmy the a sliding door
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13 years ago
Cheryl
Better to move on and seek out real friends than to be manipulated by fake cultish ones, such as those missionaries. They're just following directives and working to impress their church leaders. You and your needs are secondary. Perhaps you could check out clubs and interest groups in your area. Talk to your neighbors. Invite someone over for coffee. Instant friends? There's no such thing. Fr
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13 years ago
Cheryl
Thankfully, you were there for those endangered little kiddies! The mormon church needs to address this problem with special parenting classes in RS and priesthood meetings.
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13 years ago
Cheryl
You perhaps saved someone and, possibly their children, from a lifetime of needless suffering.
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13 years ago
Cheryl
When you tell them you're not going, they won't be of a mind to hear logical reasoning about why the church is not true. I think it's better to tell them you're not going and not get into scripture or history. There's time for that later if they're interested. You're an adult making the decisions for your life. It would be a mistake to go down a path that doesn't work for you. Once they reali
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13 years ago
Cheryl
because mormons are trained to be "nice" but also unreasonable. Perhaps the quote means that mormons rely on faith over reason? And they see this as a good thing? That's all I can come up with.
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13 years ago
Cheryl
Mom and Dad, you're going to be disappointed and I'm sorry, but I've absolutely decided that it would be a mistake to go on a mission now or in the near future. I don't think it's a good idea to give all of the reasons because they would upset you and incidentally, none of them are related in any way to sinning. I'm just doing what is best for me at this time in answer to sincere prayers, study,
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13 years ago
Cheryl
Hope I can soon learn what I'm doing on this new board. : )
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13 years ago
Cheryl
when it's total strangers sending out greetings and bringing by little gifts like this. Guess you have to laugh or send them packing with their tails between their legs.
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13 years ago
Cheryl
You know he won't like it if you say, "We were in the same mormon ward years ago before I left the church." The above response would be normal and natural if you were talking about a bird watching club or a former school class. But the morg sets us up to feel ashamed about admitting that we've left a cultish church. We tend to think we're being confrontational when we respond to chur
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13 years ago
Cheryl
If so, I'd say two contacts a year constitutes disrespect and the other 363 days are not days the mormon church is actually demonstrating respect but just showing a small measure of restraint, playing a little brinkmanship game. My personal feeling is that birthday cards are inappropriate from organizations we're no longer affiliated with. To me the resignation is a key way of demonstrating th
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