I want to impress on you one thing.
Note that you state the things they do make it hard for you to leave... that is part of the trap (it is all planned and it works..it's not god, it's not love.... it's a plan to keep you in the organization!), do not play into it. You know what you want, do it! Don't let others control you. In the end, you will regret it. Trust me.
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