No, I guess I don't have the spirit. I have to hand it to your in-laws though, they're the wheat. They're the wheatiest of the wheat. They're so wheaty, their picture ought to be on a cereal box. Amber waves of grain, they are. Except that the "end of the world," per JS, is the "end of the wicked," which occurs *before* the Big Mill. And if they have to read between BKP's l
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Okay, all together now… The end of the world will not come in 2016. The prophets and apostles have said so. Your TBM families must listen or they'll be in apostasy. First. Joseph Smith Himself said that Jesus cannot come in any year that a rainbow is seen. Anywhere. So if anyone sees a rainbow, you're safe for another year. Does your family think that no one will see a rainbow in 2016?
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Well, as I've said numerous times, I was a known rule-breaker. In one area, my comp and I went on a group date with the sister missionaries in our Ontario-NY district. Two of us and three of them. Our DL was not invited. I'm positive that we paid for their dinner though, and in my mind that qualifies as a date. I came so very close to making out with one of them one evening. We were trading
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Is it possible for a true Scotsman to make a "no true Scotsman" fallacy? Consider a (hypothetical) individual with these qualities: 1. Born in Scotland, still lives there 2. Rocks the tartan 3. Possesses mad bagpipe skills 4. Always refers to children as "wee bairns" 5. Makes his own artisanal haggis Would the very act of making a NTS fallacy alone disqualify him fr
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Slight problem here. SWK had had most of his vocal cords removed many years before, and could not speak in anything resembling a "commanding voice." This episode almost certainly did not happen, and BKP was in all probability lying. Again. Eugene England, "A Small and Piercing Voice: The Sermons of Spencer W. Kimball," BYU Studies Vol. 25, No. 4 (Fall 1985), p. 81: &qu
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joebagodonuts Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > God, we will do this your way. Please let us know > if you'd like us to be Mormon and continue this > charade of our current involvement or break away > from the church and deal with all of the carnage > which that brings. If You would have us find a > truer, different spiritual path, then we
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"Anderson said he had already had his calling and election made sure and was looking forward to the added insights/powers that comes with the apostolic office." No doubt one of Andersen's new and improved "insights" was this, delivered in the Oct 2014 GC, only a month before the church released the Nauvoo JS polygamy essay: "I give you my witness that Jesus is the C
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Not all of them. Just the ones who won't get off my lawn.
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The wardsters are channeling their inner pioneer. "Brother Brigham" is what Young was called, way back when he was alive. Young was a truly nasty SOB. Search the RFM archives for many of his terrible deeds (try "handcart" for starters). His doctrinal quotes are repeated here constantly for general ridicule and merriment. Here are two of my favorites: Brigham Young, Mar
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A few months ago, I read on (ahem) a different board that Trimble monetizes his blog through advertising, and he's paid according to the number of hits his website receives. If true, he has an incentive to maximize his viewership by posting outrageous statements. He may not even believe everything he writes. He doesn't care whether you love him or hate him, as long as you pay attention and kee
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This is a key phrase to me: "All the other brothers in the family have served missions" Your mother is the one that's being selfish. She's quite willing for your brother to spend two years in misery ("fake it till you make it") just so she can be the mother with a perfect score. She wants to be able to lord it over her RS frenemies, to strut around on Sunday with everyon
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Joseph Fielding Smith was, not to put too fine a point on it, a complete waste of a human life. It was JFS who (along with his pompous SIL, Bruce R. McConkie, although BRM largely followed the lead of JFS) bears most of the responsibility for the church's present sorry state: anti-science, anti-intellectual, anti-evolution. From what I've read, it appears that JFS was as widely disliked in his da
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Okay, I have to confess that I don't understand the outrage on this one. It is true that the artwork frequently shows Smith with his pen, writing it down himself. That is absolutely misleading. But it's not true that the church has been hiding the fact that Smith worked through dictation. It's never been a secret that he used scribes; why else would he need them? The idea is even in the can
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Have you read Nibley's "Tinkling Cymbals and Sounding Brass"? Part of it is an attempted counter to "Wife No. 19." In his single-minded intent to defend the character of Brigham Young, Nibley resorts to the same kind of personal attacks on Ann Eliza as well as the rest of the Webb family.
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If you really want to go back, have at it. Enjoy your endless meetings, your trivial callings, the constant guilt as you inevitably fall short. Revel in the judgment heaped upon you as a non-married childless. You won't miss that 10% anyway. Stock up on your supply of white shirts – or else! And be sure to bring a clean brush on Saturday. But you do deserve all sorts of criticism for being t
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This one nearly had me ROFC (rolling on the floor crying). "He told us that there were no sea gals in Utah" Well, of course there aren't. Utah is landlocked. Hill is an Air Force base, not a naval base. Besides, the Navy disbanded the WAVEs soon after World War II. Maybe he meant babes in bikinis, or mermaids? Utah doesn't have any of those either. "i taught three lesso
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"My best friend who introduced me to the LDS faith has been constantly lecturing me about tithing." …because this, of course, is what best friends do. You need better friends. Seriously. Friends that won't suck you into their life-draining cult and then guilt you into giving the cult money.
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"the missionaries are telling me I'm sick because I don't read the Book of Mormon or go to church" You're experiencing cult harassment at its finest. To them, neither you nor your own needs matter in the least; it's all about the cult, all the time. "the missionaries along with some friends from church have called me selfish" These people are NOT your friends. Be very
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Because the pew sitters have been told all their lives that they're on the inside, looking out at the miserable, unwashed masses… and then they find out that, in fact, they're still on the outside looking in. The pitchforks come out; mayhem and hilarity ensue. No wonder the church does everything in its power to discourage talk about it. (Food Network metaphor) If you were a TBM, you've bee
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I was acquainted with Jeff Walker on my mission. Didn't serve with him, but we were in the same zone in Montreal for a couple of months & had a few conversations at church on Sunday. Really bright guy, I would have thought too smart to stay TBM. Damn.
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Sheri Dew is reported to co-own a house with Wendy Watson Nelson, the second wife of Next-In-Line Russell M. It appears Sheri and Wendy were long-term "roommates" prior to Wendy's holy apostolic union. Sheri and Wendy are widely rumored to be, uh, intimately involved, thus the quotes around "roommates." Ah, life on top. http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1417538,14179
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From your post http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1641608,1641772#msg-1641772 asking, referring to your mother, "Many of you have said to cut out toxic people. How does one go about that?" This is an excellent question. I think that if you were to start a new thread with this question as the topic, you might get additional responses. The first step IMO is to understand th
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Your parents and your sister all deserve each other. You don't need them for anything or owe them anything. They bring no pleasure or comfort, only pain. They are nothing but malignant cancers in your life, and cancers need to be cut out and discarded as quickly as possible, before the damage they cause becomes unbearable.
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"I believe he is in the 6th quorum of 70, called to it in April 2010." Five years in, and he still hasn't been promoted from the 6th Quorum? Wonder what's wrong with him. I bet he's got a chip on his shoulder from having to sit at the kids' table for five years. See if you can detect any seething resentment hidden behind his glassy-eyed smiley face. (It's fun to mock and disres
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How can we possibly have this discussion without finding out what McConkie the Bruce had to say about it? Search the McConkie Scriptures and then ponder them in your… brain. Bruce R. McConkie, The Millennial Messiah, p. 229: "This gathering of the unconverted to Palestine – shall we not call it a political gathering based on such understanding of the ancient word as those without
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OK, you're 60% out now. It's not a race, you'll get there in time. The longer you stay in and the more you experience, the more "out" you'll be. Every sneering expression directed your way, every condescending remark by a so-called leader, will add to your percentage. Every mind-killing meeting, every assignment, every class will add to it. Every bit of racism and homophobia and righ
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"The Indy temple is done… it's a big deal to them. So, naturally they want me to see it." "I don't approve of Mormonism…" "…they're trying to make it right." So they're trying to repair their relationship with you, "make it right" as you say, by pressuring you to attend an event that's a "big deal" to them, but they know you don't a
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One wonders, then, if Monte Brough had ever read Joseph F. Smith's "Gospel Doctrine," or what Smith would have thought of Brough. Either that, or Brough as a GA himself felt no need to follow the prophet. Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, p. 266: "I do not believe any man should kill animals or birds unless he needs them for food, and then he should not kill innocent little b
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Over the years, I've read most of Nibley's books. He once seemed to me as among the more reasonable ones simply by virtue of not being a young-earth creationist. He was sane compared to, say, Joseph Fielding Smith, which I admit is not a high bar to clear. At this stage, I'd say that Approaching Zion is his only work that holds any merit. The book offers several scathing critiques of the LDS w
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If you shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, you ought to change your name from Raptor Jesus to Hipster Jesus.
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