Susan I/S posted a warning on another thread, to the girl who was being harassed about attending a baby blessing, that at family functions, Mormons often go after the children of the family to find out what is going on with the family regarding Mormonism. I started to respond, but didn't want to hijack the thread. Because my pet peeve is the way Mormons go after your kid, either for information or in attempts to reactivate the family by convincing your vulnerable child to believe, then go get you to believe. Kind of like Satan does with Eve in the temple movie, when he convinces her to eat and then tells her to go and get Adam to partake.

I have to chip in again to say I second what Susan I/S said. They WILL snoop around your kids, asking questions about how they like Primary or if they had fun at church. I was absolutely appalled when the HTs were over, right after we quit going but while we were still being pestered. I walked out of the room to answer the phone and they asked my kids if they'd like a copy of The Friend and The New Era. But they WAITED til I left, clearly blaming me for taking my kids out of the church when they had NO idea who made the decision to quit attending ... or even if we had quit attending. We hadn't been to church in a few weeks but we'd spent half those Sundays at my sister's ward. But the judgment had already been made. And honestly believing I didn't want my children in church, they tried to sneak them into participating behind my back.

If that were the only instance, I wouldn't bother to post this but I've lost count of how many times Mormons have gone after my kids. One time, a bishop's counselor caught my kid walking the dog and offered to give him rides to YM and Sacrament meeting. This was a 30-something man approaching my 13 year old son, offering him a ride alone somewhere. My son said "No thanks. Mom will take me if I want to go." The counselor looked really surprised that I'd drive my own son somewhere he wanted to go. Other leaders have very pointedly waited til I was gone and one of my children were alone to invite him/her places. Most recently, the scout leader I'd been talking to a day or two earlier, invited my son to go on a hike he hadn't bothered to mention to me. He waited til my son opened the door alone to invite my son instead of telling me about it. He waited to catch my son alone. And don't EVEN get me started on how my mom, the minute I'd leave the room, would begin to ask my kids if they were going on missions or bear her testimony. That one backfired though because inevitably, my kids would come to me later and thank me for getting them out of Mormonism before they became religious fanatics like Grandma. And I've used every opportunity to point out to my kids how inappropriate Mormons are behaving and warn them that if they decide to be Mormons, they will have strangers interfering with their parenting and their children like this their whole life.

Deplorable and despicable. There are no other words for this. A sure sign of desperation.

And it's kind of creepy...an older man inviting a young teenager for a ride. In the Mo mind, it probably seems natural because the older man has a so called calling (in this case a bishop's counselor). In the real world, reasonable people would consider this strange and maybe dangerous behavior. It's totally outrageous that children are approached when the parents are not around.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/30/2013 11:19AM by iris.

The biggest problem I have with them talking to kids behind parents back is that they would NEVER tolerate that when it comes to their own kids!!

My plan if they ever go behind my back is to tell them I'm a scientologist and I would absolutely LOVE it if their kids could join our kids at church. See how fast they back off.

Thanks!!

Very true. They would be appalled and really pissed if you started to talk to their kids about the problems with the Book of Mormon or invited them to some Baptist Bible camp.

During Elder's Quorum meeting the Ward Mission Leader had this to say, I'll paraphrase, "I was looking at the ward map updating all the information we have on the households and realized how many non-members and less actives there are in the Ward boundaries. It is up to us to get the less-actives going again and share the message with non-members. We need to focus on the children in these households, invite them to primary and activity days. Children are more teachable."

Yikes. Teachable or impressionable and more easily brainwashed? I have no doubt that if his kids received a reciprocated invite to a Lutheran/Baptist activity, he would be beside himself and thoroughly offended.

When you think you are right, everyone else is wrong, and it's your mission to change the world...you end up doing very arrogant stupid things.

On a recent visit, my sister said she wanted to burn a couple of cds of kid music for my little ones. She indicated the songs were just for fun.

She introduced the music to DD while I was in the next room over. It was a Capella style primary songs!!! The album titles are "Primary Colors" & "Sharing Time" by Inside Out.

Seriously?! What part of my untestimony of the church, JS, & the BOM didn't she understand? Why would I want my kids to go around singing about the restoration, baptism, or missionaries? Give me Raffi any day!

I haven't figured out how to handle that yet. I'll probably give her a wish list of approved kid music. Or I may write her a note thanking her for reminding me to always question what people offer my kids "just for fun."

I am deeply annoyed by this approach.

But yeah, we've also received letters from primary leaders addressed specifically to the kids. Hmm. Guess who checks the mail? Not my 6 & under kiddos! Nice try, TSCC.

She stepped over the line, and she did it deceptively.

"Hey Sister, I don't know what you were thinking when you gave churchy music to my kids and told me they were just fun songs. You know where I stand with on the LDS church. Don't think tricky attempts to preach to my kids are going to go unnoticed. Now I know you have a hidden agenda for my kids, and that's a problem. I would NEVER try to deconvert YOUR kids, and believe me, I feel as strong about my beliefs as you do about yours. I expect the same respect."

+1

Shredder. Take them shred them.

This is always my warning those newbies to Utah:

"They may eventually give up on converting you, but they will never give up on your kids! Beware."

wasn't there a conference talk several years ago where a man proudly boasted about how he basically harassed a teen aged boy into coming back to church? I mean, full-on stalker mode - stuff like going into the house to drag the boy out of bed for church

anyone else remember this?

found it!

as soon as I posted I remembered that surfing was part of the story - lots easier to find that way...

anyway, for anyone that hasn't read this one:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2004/04/strengthen-thy-brethren?lang=eng

They called it "rescuing" and "rescue mission" to get lapsed, inactive youth back into full activity. Yikes!

Where were this kid's parents???

The kid even tried the "free agency" argument, and the church dude just brushed it off! Incredible! How can anyone consider this kind of way-over-the-line boundary violation to be a good thing??

Bizquick, your last sentence is a great quote----"when you think you are right, everyone else is wrong, and it's your mission to change the world...you end up doing very arrogant stupid things."

Yep, so called "caring" mormons, thank they have the right to your kids because the child's parent or parents is not going to church, maybe an apostate, perhaps goes to the beautiful canyons for a lovely hike on Sunday (shameful), etc. etc. etc.

I too have experienced this evil arrogance and judgement with a neigbor and TBM. a person my daughter baby sat for and very much admired, confiding in this person and asking her for some help and quidence. One of the issues troubling my daughter was very serious (she had no clue as to its seriousness), and the neighbor went completely behind our backs, took my daughter, with the bishop's involment, to a medical doctor and then to mormon social services. (My husband and I should have sued their sorry a#@*s). Time passed and finally they told us because, get this, what they were doing was NOT working. Their prayers, and fasting, and social services were not doing the trick.

I, in attempting to be fair, do realize that the person my daughter turned to was taking valuable time to help someone. I know that she genuinely cared about my daughter, but she was also a person who had children of her own, the oldest being nine. Being a Mom herself, how could she not put herself in my shoes??? .....

Hold on, I know the answer to that one---BECAUSE HER FIRST AND ONLY THOUGHT WAS FOR MY MORMON DAUGHTER'S SOUL. She, being a TBM knew best, not my daughter's very inactive and questioning parents.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/30/2013 12:26PM by presleynfactsrock.

Umm, I beg to differ. If it were THAT serious, unless it was a sharing of parental abuse info, the lady should have helped your daughter go and tell you, by either coming with her as a support, to maybe explain it better if your daughter got tongue-tied, or by helping her find the words to tell you herself.

Imagine if she were- IDK, Catholic and she took your kid to her priest, and Catholic Social Services behind your back. Would you say that was kind or intrusive? In fact that would have been better as catholic priests are trained and Mormon bishops are not.

I think you are angry because a part of you knows that this was inappropriate and not a 'helpful' thing to do. Unless of course this friend is 25 or under and has been a Mormon all her life and just has no clue about the real world. Then I could see this being the best 'help' she could come up with, being so naïve and all. Or maybe older, if Utah women just don't grow up??

Unless you feel she is so insecure and naïve that she had no idea of what to do except to ask the bishop for advice (then go after the bishop who DEFINATELY should have known better), then you now have more info as to what kind of friend she really is and how much you can trust her.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/30/2013 12:32PM by karin.

presleynfactsrock

Was your daughter a minor? I would have flipped my lid too!

No doubt your TBM neighbor felt she was doing the correct thing, talking you her (and I assume "your") bishop and getting help through church approved resources. To a TBM this is the correct course of action.

To the rest of the sane world, this is just not done. Helping a minor is okay, but the parents need to be involved if it is this serious. Mormons do not put themselves in the other person's shoes. If their child had come to you, and you took them to a medical doctor, and then social services without telling them...I'm sure they as parents would have been very upset with you.

Untrained clergy, what a great idea! Dentists and insurance salesmen know best.

I experienced it myself as a child. I was told by several people that it was my responsibility to get ExMo aunts I was close to temple worthy and to say things like how sad I was that we would not be together in the CK. WONDERFUL thing to say to a kid in grade school. I had nightmares about it for years. And then sure enough, they did the same thing with my kid after I left. Or rather tried.

How many more plates of cookies do I have to accept for my kids, from primary teachers and relief society women? My kids are in preschool and the preschool being completely TBM, the women all seem to plan their attack. My kids are in the crosshairs. It was just a few months ago when the RSP and VT's were told that that no further visits or contact is wanted. Now, brining cookies to my kids trying to get in anyway possible. Anything to make my kids say "mommy I want to go to church. I want to feel bad for the woman brining the cookies, she is doing what TSCC asks. I don't think I can have many more visits before I throw the beef on the table. When that happens I will more than likely have to find a new preschool as with everything church, once you have made your disdain public, you face major social battles. Social battles where its hard to associate with people who you know just want your rear end in dress, suit and tie sitting in sacrament meeting listening to propaganda on how to fund the LDSINC's fundraising efforts.

Honestly, reading all these posts makes me want to say to the next Mormons who try to go after my children, calmly and sweetly "Are you trying to get my kids to go to your church?" And when they reply in the affirmative say "Fair enough - then I am going to try to get your kids OUT of Mormonism. I'm so much happier since I left and I want to share that joy and give them a chance at a decent life outside your cult. By going after my children, you've given me tacit permission to go after yours. Thank you for that."

And if they ask if that's a threat, I'm going to smile and say "I see you understand."

Of course, I won't actually go after their kids - I don't want to stoop to their level. I just want them to feel, for one second, what we feel when they victimize our children.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/30/2013 05:44PM by CA girl.

I like your style...

Is it time to report these mormons to the police for going after your children without the parents knowing? If an adult offers your child a ride to church, how would you know the person would actually take them to church? Predators use all sorts of ploys to get at children. In mormondom, why not say your with the TSCC?

Plenty of Mormon sex crimes against children. Going all the way back to the early leadership. Any smart parent SHOULD be protective.