Posted by:
Hold Your Tapirs
(
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Date: May 27, 2014 04:12PM
I came out to my family back in March [1] and I had not seen my parents since this past Christmas. My father and I had an altercation over email [2] during the holidays and we haven't had words since.
My 94 year old grandfather went into surgery yesterday so I went to visit him one last time just in case things didn't go well. I knew my parents would be there and I was slightly apprehensive about the encounter. I heard that my father had prepared a harsh response to my 'coming out' email but he never sent it, so I didn't know what to expect. My TBM wife told me to be cordial and if my dad brought anything up I was to simply redirect him to the purpose for our visit and leave it at that.
My mom and older brother were already at the hospital when I arrived. They were waiting on my father to bring some oil so they could give my nevermo grandfather a blessing. My older brother, already knowing my position in regards to the church, still asked if I had any oil. I chuckled and told him 'no'. Dad ran late so my brother had to give a solo blessing without oil so the nurses could go ahead and take grandpa into surgery. I was not invited to join in on the blessing and I didn't expect to be invited either. No surprise there.
My dad arrived shortly after we moved to the waiting room. He looked around the room and saw me and my brother talking in the corner. Dad chose to sit across the room near my wife and kids and he started talking with them. He would occasionally look in my direction, and as soon as I would look up he would turn back to my wife and kids. This went on for 30 minutes or so. I could tell that he wouldn't initiate a conversation so I went over and started talking to him. It was as if nothing had happened at all. He told several church related stories, some mundane work related talk, and then we talked about grandpa's condition. No mention of our previous altercation, my calling him a Pharisee, or anything about me being an exmo.
My parents have always ignored problems so I'm curious if they're just pretending I never said I left the church or that I don't believe anymore. Maybe if they just pretend I didn't say any of it, it will eventually go away.
[1]
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1198577[2]
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1126472