Posted by:
randyj
(
)
Date: December 08, 2014 03:50PM
Now that my wife and I have been out of the church for 16 years, I can make good comparisons to how our respective lives have gone. I'm the youngest of 12 kids. Here's a rundown of how my most-TBM siblings' lives have gone during that time:
*My oldest sister and her hubby had nine kids. Five of the nine left the church as soon as they became adults. She and hubby went on a senior genealogy mission when they retired. While on their mission, she contracted horrible cancer. They had to come home early, and she died a painful, horrible death at age 61. Two weeks after her death, her hubby (former stake president and regional rep) began a sexual affair which brought shame on our entire family.
*My most TBM brother's wife divorced him after 38 years of marriage and 8 kids. He has since remarried and divorced three other Mormon women over the last decade. The last one was a gold-digger, which was kinda funny because my brother has zero gold. He's now 70 and still looking for a "good LDS woman."
*#2 most TBM sister (age 67) and her hubby divorced about 20 years ago. She struggled financially to raise her 3 kids with no child support from hubby. She tried valiantly to keep her home which she'd lived in since the early '70s, but last year she finally gave up and let it go back to the bank. Fortunately, one of my jack-Mormon brothers is letting her live in an old trailer on his property, so at least she has a home. Incidentally, 2 of her 3 kids are doing very well financially, and are TBMs too, but I've seen no evidence that they're helping their mother out after all she did for them.
#3 most TBM sister (age 63) has had three temple marriages and two divorces. Her 3 living children have left the church (a fourth died in an accident at age 13.) That sister has been in and out of poverty and welfare throughout most of her adult life. A few years ago, she re-connected with her first teenage boyfriend, who was a non-Mormon. He was going through a divorce, and my sister got him to join the church and they are now doing fairly well compared to her previous 2 marriages and past 35 or so years.
#4 most TBM sister married a non-Mormon US Marine and they had five kids, four of which have left the church. Her hubby has abused, mistreated, and beaten her throughout their half-century together. But she's still a TBM, so there's that.
My best-off sibling hasn't darkened the door of a Mormon church in 50 years except for weddings and funerals. He made (reportedly) $15 million in the banking industry, retired at 55, and he and his wife have spent the last two decades traveling the world, investing in real estate, and spoiling their grandchildren. They've been involved in politics and have hobnobbed with nationally-known movers and shakers.
As for me, I'm just a middle-class guy. I've owned a small business for 18 years, and although I'll never be wealthy, it's paid the bills, which is better than a lot of Americans have done during this current economic situation. My wife and I have been married, faithful, and happy together for 36 years. After being a SAHM for 28 years, my beautiful wife now holds a prestigious position with a senior care non-profit org. For a country girl with just a high-school education, I am VERY proud of her and lucky to be her man. We owe no money except for our mortgage, and the balance is low. Our house is worth about 3 times what we owe on it.
We have four grown kids and one precious grandson, and they're all doing reasonably well. None of them are wealthy, but OTOH none of them are in jail, pregnant out of wedlock, or drug addicts either.:-)
Our health is reasonably good for our ages (59 and 56.) I haven't been to a doctor in almost two years. My wife recently went in for a checkup, and the staff was shocked when she told them that she wasn't taking any medication of any kind. I realize that we'll have health situations as we get older, but that's no different from anybody else. We have a little money in the bank, and our life insurance is paid up, so whichever one of us survives the other can get by. :-)
That about sums it up. All things considered, my wife and I have done better since we left the church than any of my TBM siblings have.