President Monson's New Iron Lung

The Brethren were in a dismay
Because Monson didn't leave his bed today
Fear started slowly setting in
All their PR tossed in a trash bin

For who of all was next in line?
Only a living land mine..
Boyd K. Packer was his name
Of "So called intellectual fame."

"If he's the president the church is through!"
Said one of the Quorums self-righteous dudes.
We must do something to save Monson
Said even Neil L. Anderson

But I think Packer would do a good job
Said Bednar, ie, Packers Lap dog
Hey I know "Why don't we go to the Lord in Prayer?"
Perhaps he'll answer and dispel our fear.

So the Quorum gathered round
Thankfully Packer was out of town
And asked the Lord what they should do.
Waiting for an answer they soon snoozed.

Then with inspiration whatshisface Cook rose
And screamed "I know!"
We need to outfit Monson with an Iron lung!
To keep his Little Factory chugging along.

They would keep him hooked up long enough
For Boyd K. Packer to bite the dust
And if Monson died anyways
They would play the Weekend at Bernies.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2015 09:35PM by ultra.

I like the ending.

Somewhere in the COB, two young go-getters are looking at each other after reading the OP and saying, "It. Could. Work!!!" (Think Young Frankenstein)

Elder OldDog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Somewhere in the COB, two young go-getters are
> looking at each other after reading the OP and
> saying, "It. Could. Work!!!" (Think Young
> Frankenstein)

Okay...I've been gone for most of the day (this is our weekend around here), but what a "Welcome Home" to find...

This is hilarious!!!

And oh yeah, Elder OldDog...you are totally spot on:

"It. Could. Work!!!"

:) :) :)

Top for those who missed my masterpiece.

What if they're already doing the Weekend At Tommy's thing? =8^0

Follow the profit, follow the profit, it knows the waayy. Follow the profit follow the profit you'll always paayy....

Thank you, Ultra! LOL!

Now, no one's going to believe it when TSCC announces that Monson and his family are all going to Hawaii, while Monson recovers from his cold. Via Huntsman Jet, of course, so the public can't witness the family's tear-stained faces, and Monson being loaded on a gurney--into the baggage compartment. They could keep him in Hawaii for quite a while, splicing together recorded old talks (he uses old talks already), arranging a satellite TV fireside (Hmmm, he looks 8 years younger!), and having someone else preside for him, like Hinckley did for Benson. Monson's family will be safely out of the picture, and we all know how good Mormons are at lying, and how expert the PR dept is at putting lipstick on a corp-, er, pig.

Enjoy!

http://youtu.be/mMQE7fo5WXs