Occasionally I have a meal in the home of one of my TBM family members. Of course they bless the food before anybody takes a bite. And they never ask me to say the blessing.

But I've been thinking about what I might say if I were. It might go something like this:

==========
Dear Heavenly Father,

It's us again, we're going to eat now, so we have to take a minute or two and chat with you. So, how've you been since last time? How's Heavenly Mother? Please give her our apologies that we don't keep in touch, but our leaders have told us she's too sacred to bother. We're sure glad that you're not too sacred to bother, too, otherwise we'd have to eat this stuff completely unblessed.

OK, back to the food, which is starting to get cold. Here goes: O God the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy son Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this food to the souls of all those who eat of it; that they may do so in remembrance... sorry, I got off on the wrong prayer. Here's what I meant: Dear Dad Up There, please bless this food, that it may not make us sick, that it may nourish and strengthen our bodies and not make us gain too much weight, especially Harry, who is really putting on the pounds lately and is starting to look gross.

Bless the hands the prepared this meal, and the rest of their body parts as well. If they accidentally had cut themselves or got a burn, heal it up quick without us having to get out the concentrated oil, which would take some time to find - we know you can do it!

Bless the sick and the needy - they really need your help, and we shouldn't have to ask you to do this. You know what they're going through and you could fix it for them in a minute if you just put your mind to it.

Well, everybody is starting to mutter and fidget, so I'll sign off.

We ask all these things in the name of your oldest kid that you loved so much you let him be tortured and killed so that we wouldn't have to be punished. Thanks a lot. Yours truly,

Amen.

Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, YAY G-D!

michael Wrote:
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> Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, YAY G-D!

YAY, GOD!

There, fixed that for ya, your typewriter seems to be missing it's O...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2015 11:41AM by csuprovograd.

csuprovograd Wrote:
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> michael Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, YAY G-D!
>
> YAY, GOD!
>
> There, fixed that for ya, your typewriter seems to be missing it's O...


Nope. As a Jew, I don't write out His name completely. It's a Jewish thing.

Ah, trying to fool 'im, eh?

I'm thinking that this god guy is sharper than you give him credit for...

I bet he knows you're talking about him, even without the O.

The StalkerDog™ Blessing for Food.
----------------------------------
Bless this food that came in the door.
Please let some of it land on the floor.

Bless this food I pray to thee,
Don't let my folks forget about me!

Bless this food, full meal or snack,
If I don't get some I'll attack!

Bless expecially the meat,
Sure is better'n a doggie treat.

Bless the veggies, nice and green,
If I don't get some I'll be mean.

Bless it all, meat, leaf, and root-
Now give me some because I'm cute!

~Reggie The StalkerDog™ and Prayerful Pupper

Hilarious!

Too good!

I'd go with something like this:
"Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the South call you: 'Jee-suz'. We thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family: my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome striking sons, Walker: Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And, of course, my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox, who if you would rate her *** on 100, it would easily be a 94. I also want to thank you for my best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton Jr, who's got my back no matter what...Dear Lord Baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father Chip. We hope that you can use your Baby Jesus powers to heal him and his horrible leg. It smells terrible and the dogs are always botherin' with it. Dear Tiny Infant Jesus..."

never ask me to say the blessing.

I believe that the correct term is "ask the blessing"

I could be wrong but that would be the first time in my entire life. It is so great to be Me!

Those prayers are powerful enough that saying them every January should take care of it for the year.

Saying words on food isn't my favorite activity but I can stand it if it doesn't happen too often.

Children sometimes love it. It calms them down and tickles their imaginations to say magical words on food.

Bravo Richard! Made my day. I will remember this every time I have to sit through the same old blessing with the family.


" . . . and the other body parts as well!" LMAO

On my mission one of my companions and I agreed that after we returned from the grocery store on P-Day we would just do one blessing on all the food while it was still in the grocery bags before we put it away. This method was more efficient and saved us time because we wouldn't have to say a prayer at every meal.....I got along well with this companion!

I see nothing wrong with this. Blessed food is blessed food!! Surely, the blessing doesn't wear off just because the food sat on a shelve for a couple of days before it was eaten?

My wife has never been a member of the church. But, when our first kid was about two-years old my wife’s mom came down for an extended visit. Because this was her first grandchild I guess she wanted to set a good example and so she asked my wife to say, “Grace,” before we ate.

I knew I married a similar sole when my wife complied, and said the word: “GRACE!”

Short but sweet!

It was fine meal!

With my own family, we sang the prayer, (the Johnny Appleseed Prayer) and it does involve a touch of yelling, which went over well.

Oh the Lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord
For giving me the things I need, the sun and the rain and the appleseed
The Lord is good to me. (Yell this part loudly) AMEN!

I remember that prayer, as I learned that actually from Girl Scouts. It's about the closest thing to religion that we ever got in my troop.

One of the first things that made me go "hmmm..." when I was a teen:
I was dating a Catholic girl. Went over to her home to have dinner with her parents.
The dad says, "...before we eat, would it be OK with you if we gave thanks?" "Sure," I say.

First "hmm" moment: he asked a guest in his home if it was OK if they did their usual ritual. As in being accommodating to his guest, rather than demanding the guest go along with his ritual.

Second "hmm" moment: he called it "giving thanks." Not a "blessing," as if there was something wrong with the food and it needed to be healed, just an expression of thanks. I remember thinking at the time, "gee, I've never heard anybody in TSCC call it giving thanks..."

I don't mind the idea of simply being thankful and saying so. It means I realize how fortunate life is that there is food on the table and the means by which to purchase/grow/prepare/share the food.

I like the idea of saying thanks, instead of blessing it. Seems more appropriate.
So, thanks for the idea next time I'm asked to 'bless' the food by a TBM.

Do the Catholics say a 'set' prayer over the food? If so, I'd like to say it next time I'm asked.

I'd also like to say something like, "We are thankful for this food and all that went into the preparation so we could share with loved ones." No ending mentioning JC, but is Amen appropriate as it means The End?

Catholic blessing for Liz...

"Bless us, oh Lord, and these thy(or your) gifts from thy(your) bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen."

In the Name of the Father, and the Son and Holy Spirit ...
or In nomini Patri, et Fillii, et Spiritus Sancti, (for the uber traditional)

which is a good way to alert everyone at the table to sit-up and shut-up.

Yes, Catholics have a set prayer -- The Stalker Dog got it right. But in my family over the years improvised prayers for thanks were likewise acceptable.

It's interesting that Mormons bless their food. Catholics, on the other hand, merely give thanks for it. It is possible to give thanks without invoking God's name at all, i.e. "For the bounty of delicious food laid before us, for the company of family and friends, let us truly be thankful. Amen."

summer Wrote:
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> It's interesting that Mormons bless their food.
> Catholics, on the other hand, merely give thanks
> for it. It is possible to give thanks without
> invoking God's name at all, i.e. "For the bounty
> of delicious food laid before us, for the company
> of family and friends, let us truly be thankful.
> Amen."

While I don't remember the exact words said in my story above, I recall it was something like that. Just a simple expression of thanks, without even naming a deity or ending in magic Jesus' name. :)

I decline when asked to bless the food. I started to feel so disingenuous when I said a blessing or prayed many years ago, that I stopped doing it.

Ron Burr

Good bread

Good meat

Good God

Let's eat

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dIYxAsZIIP0

They'll never ask me again.

If asked to bless the food, I would say something like this:

Dear Heavenly Mother,

Thank you for this food that Gaia has most graciously provided and please bless the plant and animal spirits for sacrificing their lives to feed us. Thank Isis the God of fertility for the mating rituals and creation of the life forms that now lay prostate before us. Amen.

Love this! ;-)

I have the distinct impression that TBMs don't want non or ex-mos saying the blessing. When I have the family together, I intentionally (being the oldest present and still patriarch in my own home by my sayso) usually call on myself to say grace and I make sure it is an inclusive one including for those of other faiths who may be present. Thinking of grace, I often include how we are saved by grace and not by our works.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2015 03:38PM by rhgc.

The inlaws once asked me to bless the food. We had previously gotten sick at a family party. My blessing went like this. Our father in heaven please bless this food so we dont get diarrhea like last time. In the name of jesus christ amen.They never asked me again.

Good, except you might have left out the one word. You also could have thanked God for your recovery.

Why should we give "thanks" for the food? Nobody provided it as a gift. Certainly not god. If anything, maybe we should give thanks to our employers or the farmers who grew the food.

We eat as a result of our own efforts. I would like to think we should make an "acknowledgement" of our accomplishments or some other form of recognition that gives us at least partial credit for the bread on our table.

I am so tired of the blessings at the dinner table at RFMs that go on and on like a boring general conference talk by... you pick the Black Suit.

Let's see, first the voice of the prayer giver has to get reverrrent, that means so very quiet and fake-sounding, then the next part is the opening with speshul-speshul words for HF, like our very most dearest Hf or our kind and oh, so loving HF.....

It just goes on and on and feels so much like they are trying to outdo whoever gave the prayer the last time. One of the latest additions I've noticed is the thankfulness that is given that they can fill the chairs around their dinner table and have no empty seat. Well, by God, I can take care of that one for them as the cook here is amazing and the lay-out is much better than the mac and cheese I often have.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2015 05:52PM by presleynfactsrock.

Why do we say a prayer over the food we eat? Where does that
custom come from? It's not a commandment anywhere in the
scriptures.

baura Wrote:
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> Why do we say a prayer over the food we eat? Where does that
> custom come from? It's not a commandment anywhere in the scriptures.

It is a longstanding Jewish custom, for one thing.

It may not be a specific commandment, but there is a general commandment to thank God for "all things." 1 Chr 16:8, Ps 105:1, 106:1, 1 Nephi 2:7, 5:9, Ps 92:1, 1 Thess 5:18, etc.

And we have the example of Jesus [if he existed :-)] who, when he fed the multitude, "took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude." Matthew 14:19 and synoptics.

It's superstitious nonsense that probably originated as a byproduct of not understanding the causes of diseases (food poisoning) and death. Better safe than sorry?

My TBM ex only asked me to do the blessing once, and he hated that I kept it short so the food didn't get cold.

My family is 50/50 TBM/somewhat agnostic. These changes in belief being out in the light of day in the house is a recent development. All age groups in the home. Wife in and I'm out. There is an increasing awkwardness around prayers.

I could use some practical suggestions of substitutes for TBM prayers that us non-believers can do when our turns come around. DW is a 'family before church' believer and I expect would be open to mixing in prayer substitutes that maintain a feeling of family unity.

I always like to thank the animal that gave up its life for our nourishment...

I do too, although I realize that is quite odd as well, as I am pretty sure that animal didn't give up his life voluntarily..

but I still appreciate it.. ;-)

My TBM brother would jokingly say:

Heavenly Father
Holy Ghost
He who grabs
Gets the most

This one time...well, now that I think on, it was the last time I was asked at a ward social to bless the food.

It went (paraphrasing)

"Dear Heavenly Father, please bless the food for those whom you consider worthy to have such a blessing."

there was a number of ward council members who seemed to only consume drinks that evening!