Posted by:
anon (unfortunately)
(
)
Date: April 08, 2015 09:42AM
Wow, what a response. Thanks for all of the comments, and good wishes.
A few random thoughts as I read through the thread:
The strange thing is that I don't feel anger towards her. She is on a journey of discovery since she left the church, and I'm just heart-broken that she doesn't think it will be with me.
One element of the story that I kept back from the opening post is that over the last year she has realised that she is bi-sexual. A number of her close friends had always thought she was, and were surprised that she hadn't known it herself (what is the bi- equivalent of gaydar?) I'm comfortable with her sexuality, but she has wondered how it would be with another woman...
She admitted that she feels like 'a bitch' for saying the things that she did, and has wanted to say the things for a while, but couldn't find the right time to minimise the hurt it would cause.
Over the last twelve months, she has been seeing a Personal Trainer, and losing lots of weight. Ironically, for the first time since we were married, she now weighs less than me (I'm a good 5" taller than her, and a 20lb overweight myself). She is now noticing heads that are turning, which is a new experience for her. Doing more exercise is towards the top-end of my to-do list, but I feel annoyed that I've seen through her weight issues for 20 years, and now I'm the unattractive one.
We have never been the Molly M. and Peter P. of the ward. We were both devout, and held major callings at both ward- and stake- level, but never took the LDS culture element too seriously. If I ever tried to influence her by 'using my priesthood', she would either laugh, stick a finger up at me, or both. She has always hated the patriarchy system within the church, which was fine, as I disagreed with it too.
My main concern is for the well-being of my kids and my DW- after all, habits die hard. If the worst does come to the worst, I won't have any financial issues- indeed, I would actually have a little more disposable income (even taking a generous level of child support into account). However, my DW hasn't worked for 15 years, and I really worry for her. I still wish her every happiness.
I know several posters had suggested that she has already strayed. I'm reasonably confident that she hasn't. Indeed, in some ways, it would be easier if she had, as I would have a reason to be angry and throw toys out of the pram :)