Apologetics I read say that Nephi wasn't commanded to build the boat after they'd been doing the shifting sands shuffle for 8 years!

I realize the BoM is bad fan-fiction, so is the wandereing bit an homage to the Jews wandering in the desert for 40 years (on a trip that should have taken 3 weeks, tops) so that Lehi (or Nephi) comes off as a Moses-type guy? Or was JS hedging his bets in case someone noticed he got geography wrong? Or course, for apologists, he got frikkin' lucky by choosing a spot on the map that kinda-sorta is a place that fits the BoM where could build his boat and find food.

Plagiarists always think just changing a little will fool everyone. You say Cumorah, I say Comoro--Let's call the whole thing off! You say Moroni, I say Moroni, wait, what?

I think the wandering in the desert bit was just too juicy and Joe just HAD to use it. It was probably killing him to use any restraint he had left and not draft a scene with Lehi parting the ocean.

Joe did get his signature "stones" in the Jarodite boats though and even made them glow. Gotta have a gimmick!

Once your eyes are opened the BoM just gets "fraudier and fraudier."

Do you mean the Bushnell Turtle submarine used in 1776 to attack British warships in New York?

Two shells banded together and sealed with pitch to make it air tight.

Openings at the top and bottom though the top was for air and the bottom was really ballast control.

It had thick glass windows in the "conning" tower.

Light was provided by the decay of fox fire fungus.

Of course this bears no resemblance to two halves sealed with pitch and tight as a dish ships with openings on top and bottom lighted by glowing stones.

Nope....no similarity at all.

Thanks, it's nice to finally know where that weird description came from. This submarine is the only real life object I've ever seen that resembles the Jaredite boats. It must have been a fascinating invention for the people of its time.

I had no idea of the Bushnell Turtle--too good. Thanks from me too.

"Once your eyes are opened the BoM just gets "fraudier and fraudier."

I like that--so we have added "truthiness" to the lexicon,and I think fraudiness works, too.

The more you dig in to ChurchCo™, the more it proves its fraudiness.

@Chicken N. Backpacks, I still cant get over the story of Laban. I mean you have an inept prophet of God named Lehi who doesnt even have his own copy of the scriptures so he sends his son to buy the only available copy from an evil drunkard named Laban.

Laban refuses to sell the scriptures to them so they cut his head off and impersonate Laban so that they can steal the scriptures and run off into the desert with them.

There really wasnt even a reason to cut Laban's head off. They could have just taken his clothes without executing him first since Laban was passed out in the street.

This was Joseph Smith's idea of a moral story? It makes the Book of Mormon sound absurd from the very beginning.

Agreed. So I guess Zoram had never met Laban, his master, so Nephi could play the part. Crazy.
Grant Palmer shows where this story may have come from. I think it's the Apocrypha.

Remember TSCC telling us "JS added more words to the English language than even Shakespeare!!"

I love you guys' "Fraudier" and "Truthiness"!!

And someone said "Ker-snick em" in another thread.

:D

You guys are linguistic fun!

The only thing I wonder about is how he got the land Bountiful right. To my understanding, it was next to a trade route for shipping, so maybe somehow, he found a source referring to it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/01/2017 04:55PM by Gd.

Well, he did have access to maps, and I have access to Google.......and lo and behold, one map from the 1700's shows the Arabian Peeninsula with lots of named locations plus the Gulf in latin as Mare Erythraeum--sounds close enough to Irranteum for me!

Chicken N. Backpacks Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I realize the BoM is bad fan-fiction, so is the
> wandereing bit an homage to the Jews wandering in
> the desert for 40 years (on a trip that should
> have taken 3 weeks, tops)

Sorts makes me tilt my head to one site & ponder... how could they be that lost??? A great scene from Hallelujah Trail in a sandstorm comes to mind!

That idiot Moses was somehow lost on that same peninsula for forty years!

It kept going around in circles!

That's why the Jews couldn't have a woman prophet. She would stop and ask for directions.

bradley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That's why the Jews couldn't have a woman prophet.
> She would stop and ask for directions.

Uhhhhhh...

According to Jewish count, in the Tanach (Old Testament) there are fifty-five prophets in total. Of these, seven are female, and forty-eight are male...

...which means that more than 12% of the total prophets in the OT are female.

They are:

1) Sarah
2) Miriam
3) Devorah
4) Hannah (mother of Shmuel)
5) Avigail (who became a wife of King David)
6) Huldah (a relative of Jeremiah; she subbed for him when he was away from home)
7) Esther

And since Devorah, in particular, was known for her military/strategic skills, I think she was likely pretty good with "directions." ;)

P.S. I DO get the joke, and it IS funny...I just wanted to give a shoutout to the women prophets of the OT, 'cause being a female prophet back then was a real achievement.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/02/2017 02:39AM by Tevai.

Compare that to the number of prophetesses in the BoM.

Let's see, I've got 600 years to go to get to the birth of Jesus. 8 years in the desert. 592 to go.

After 40 years wandering the middle east desert manages to lead his people to one of the only areas without oil.

Just saying.

I saw a cartoon years ago about why they were in the desert for 40 years?

Cartoon shows a very long line of people waiting to use 1 porta potty, out in the desert.

They probably had some law that they had to walk backwards every Sabbath.
Or, maybe they had to stop to get the prophet's instructions because someone was having their period.

I always thought the desert thing was a little strange. I thought god would do better than that or the writers but i guess they wanted it to sound treacherous and epic.

I bear solemn testimony of one of the wondrous legacy elements of this memorable movement that the beloved Joseph Smith did teach that the Book of Mormon was the most correct book on earth. This is an eternally unchangeable fact of what Joseph said (and the Church leadership has fully supported without question or doubt for over 180 years so far) that only an evil liar could deny has been a fundamental belief.

Tears of joy should flood our hearts this day as I think of some marvelous ways how the naysayers can be confounded. For example, in about a month from now will be the most amazing event ever in the second half of 2017 when the dearly beloved prophets, seers, and revelators will make proclamations in full defense of all teachings ever made and show the world how super honest and transparent they are so people will want to investigate whether it's a true church. I imagine a re enactment of these holy men in conclusion of the conference of the Jaredite barge with the 2 stones and honeybees using YouTube Live and Facebook Live for over 300 days would do much to confound all these naysaying evil apostates.

.... or maybe those prophets could do something they've never done yet, like make a prophecy!