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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: lifecurrentlysucks ( )
Date: May 05, 2018 11:00PM

Hello to all, don't mind me, just an incognito fifteen year old atheist. My parents wont let me get my drivers license until I finish personal progress, also known as a temple worthy baby-maker cookie cutter. I was looking through it to see what I could fake finishing to get me closer to being behind the wheel, and I realized how stupid it actually is. "Write about certain recipes you will want to cook for your future family" was one of the most stereotypical Mormon woman thing I've ever read. The bs doesn't stop there, though. Through girls camp, a summer camp trip the yw take, all we ever do is sit around, craft, cook, and go swimming. On the other hand, the young men camp provides the CLEARLY more worthy and deserving priesthood holders with opportunities to go zip lining, boating, and one year, a freaking helicopter tour. Activity nights aren't better. Young women get to learn how to sew and cook different foods "for our future family" while the young men get to do actual activities. It's only going to get worse when people actually realize I'm being serious about not having kids. I'm excited for the day when I get a patriarchal blessing and I laugh when they bless me with some stupid bs. Anyways, just sharing my opinion. #3moreyearsbeforeIMFREE

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 05, 2018 11:05PM

Gotta hand it to you, you're on the right track!

Yeah, three more years of homemaker arts and crafts... It's a wonder you can sleep nights!

Keep reading RfM, and keep commenting, so that we can be entertained, and so we can re-enforce your wonderful (to me, at least) perspective.

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Posted by: Bite Me ( )
Date: May 05, 2018 11:06PM

Love it!

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: May 05, 2018 11:07PM

List recipes like Beef Burgundy and Coq au Vin.

If hassled, you can reply innocently that all the alcohol cooks out, and just leaves flavor.

I remember joining Girl Scouts, with the primary intent of going camping, just to get the BLEEP out from under my mother's roof for a day or two.

It never happened. Every time the Scouts held camp-outs, my mother came up with some lame excuse to keep me from going. One that galls me to this day was the wedding of the daughter of a lady Mother worked with. She kept insisting, "They would be SO HURT if you didn't come to the wedding." BS. I didn't even know the girl, and I barely knew the mother. My mother was a master at guilt-tripping. The Mormons weren't even in the same league.

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Posted by: cftexan ( )
Date: May 05, 2018 11:09PM

You just mentioned all the reasons I hated young womens. I definitely did not fit into the Mormon woman mold. I didn't figure out I didn't want kids until later on. That's cool you already know.

You'll be free sooner than you know it, and it will be awesome!

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Posted by: anon2day ( )
Date: May 05, 2018 11:15PM

Until you are 18 your parents will come up with other stuff to entice you.

Why not have fun and play along. Make dinners and burn them, bake a cake and substitute salt instead of sugar. Be creative. Go to camp and trip often.

Snore and pass gas.
You can always say but I'm trying.

Having a three year fight can be stressful. Be creative in looking like you are trying but get no where. It will stress them instead.

Go to institute and ask dumb questions and give wrong answers.

Just a thought.

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Posted by: lifecurrentlysucks ( )
Date: May 06, 2018 12:23AM

Reminds me of the time I cracked a whole egg into a cake and the eggshells got in there, too.

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Posted by: sbg ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 09:31AM

Make frosting and use granulated sugar instead of powered sugar. It will be grainy and taste appalling. I know because at 10 my neighbor and I did not know they were different and made her dad a cake and did that. Bless the guy he ate the entire cake and never complained.

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: May 05, 2018 11:38PM

Thanks for posting. Your insights & obvious intelligence gives those of us that are a few decades beyond age 15 hope for the future.

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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: May 05, 2018 11:39PM

Tell your YW leaders one of the following:

1) you want to cure Parkinsopn's disease

2) you want to learn cuneiform

3) you want to be sealed to Joseph Smith.

Or maybe all three.

Then watch them squirm.

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: May 06, 2018 09:24AM

Tell them it’s a shame Brigham Young didn’t marry one more woman to make it an even 57, like Heinz ketchup.

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 04:23AM

Nothing wrong with learning how to cook. You might add how to choose the right wine with dinner and cocktails to entertain with to the lessons.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 05:43AM

It must feel so frustrating to never get the kinds of activities that you want. My suggestion is along the same lines as the board members above: Try to get something out of these lessons and activities, because after all, we all have to eat and sew the occasional hem or button.

I'll tell you a funny story. When I was a sophomore in college, my then boyfriend was rather a good cook. He and his pals told me that their moms were terrified that they wouldn't eat well when left to their own devices, so the moms sent all of them off to school with cooking lessons, a repertoire of recipes, instruction in how to iron clothes, etc. The boys were better prepared than we were! ( -- because the girls were already seriously over all of the domestic things, lol.)

Good luck and hang in there. Try to save as much money as you can before you leave the nest. And get good grades because whatever you do, that will help you out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2018 05:44AM by summer.

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Posted by: Gatorman not logged in ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 08:48AM

Whoever suggested passing gas at girls “camp” is really inventive. Can also suggest belching loudly after sacrament is passed... continue to post PLEASE

Gatorman

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Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 11:55AM

I was never Mormon, but that's the kind of thing I would love to do.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 09:40AM

I get in trouble if I peek at young women...

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Posted by: Ex-CultMember ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 11:18AM

Share a lesson in YW about what a trial it must have been for all of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young's 14-16 year olds wives to have to be marry and share their creepy old husbands so the YW today got it made!

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Posted by: Dorothy ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 11:33AM

Sounds like pure sexism is still being promoted as God given. It doesn't seem like anything has changed. Damn.

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Posted by: Mother Who Knows ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 11:51AM

I'm sorry to see that YW's has not changed. You would think the Mormons would try to keep up with the times.

You are wise for your years! You are ready to take charge of your own life. I'm NOT talking about rebelling, arguing, or making a fool of yourself. I'm talking about ADDING things to your life. Don't depend on just church for your fun and activities.

Add more studying to your life. Your parents can't argue against that. Read anything you want to read. You can read anytime, anywhere. Read during boring church meetings. Read alone in your room, if your parents are bothering you. Reading is the classic escape--and it's parent-approved.

I had a bully brother at home, so I joined some after-school sports teams. My favorite was tennis. I also did high-jumping. In high school, I was a cheerleader. These kept me busy and "obligated." In addition to the sports, were "sports meetings" and "official practices" and other excuses to not join in the YW homemaking meetings.

I played the piano, and accompanied the school choir and other groups. This got me out of a lot of church stuff. Sometimes the school choir would sing on Sundays at other churches, which I thought was fun. Playing at Christmas time put me in the Christmas spirit--Mormons hardly celebrate Christmas at all. Later, I evaded the more boring callings, and didn't have to teach lies to children, because I was the primary pianist and the ward organist.

Whatever it is you like to do--pursue that! The Mormon church used to teach women to "magnify your talents."

Training service dogs, bicycling, skiing, music, going to the library, babysitting for money, other after-school jobs, volunteering at the hospital or in the community--there are hundreds of ways you can enhance your life! My niece liked dancing, and she needed money, so she taught dancing to little kids. I taught swimming at the community pool, and tennis at a summer school. Money will bring you more freedom to go get ice cream with friends, or see a movie, or pay for gas, when you drive.

Seriously, no matter what, it always pays off to be nice.

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Posted by: sonofthelefthand ( )
Date: May 08, 2018 12:04PM

Thank you so much for the insight. I hope the 3 years fly by for you.

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Posted by: fordp ( )
Date: May 09, 2018 04:45AM

One of the guys I knew growing up didn't go along with everything. He just flat out said he liked stuff that the church said was bad. It wasn't like he was rebelling, just strangely like someone who lived their past life in a casino or something and was patiently waiting to be liberated.
The interesting thing was his dad was in the stake presidency. His mom in some important role also, and all of his younger brothers and sisters weren't like that. It made me wonder if he might have told by his parents that it was better to be yourself than to pretend to be something your not.
He didn't break any rules or do bad things that I know about. He did the prayers and all the stuff church kids are supposed to do. But at the same time he was open about waiting till he was 18 to live how he choose. How can you discipline a persons preferences. I don't know if they tried. They all still seemed like a tight knit functional family, who just accepted their brother the way he was. Last time I looked they were all still close but he wasn't living the Mormon life.
I admire him now for the way he was when he was young. I'm still trying to get over habits I formed from putting on appearances, trying to be what a Mormon boy was supposed to be like.

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Posted by: nonmo_1 ( )
Date: May 09, 2018 08:49AM

fake it til you make it...(or get it, the dl)




god luck

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Posted by: cricket ( )
Date: May 09, 2018 09:13AM

lucky they are to have an authentic and free-thinking young woman for a daughter. They should be encouraging you and enjoying the ride of exploring life along with you instead of resisting.

In a sad and ironic way, your parents love you but through the membrane of Mormonism. They mix their belief in Mormonism and the Church that manifests its truth with how they love you.

They love LDS and so the more you "obey" and act LDS the more they will love you.

I do hope that eventually you and your parents will sort this doctrinal dance out and end up liking and respecting each other. There's no way to tell, so I'm hoping for the best.

This forum is a great place to process the goings on of your growing up in the context of Mormonism.

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Posted by: logan ( )
Date: May 09, 2018 09:35AM

Whether you are atheist and believe in evolution or you believe in God, or exploding stars, you will more than likely at some point develop a desire to have children. While there are a few exceptions, there isnt much you can do to fight natural instincts and natural order. You are still young, there is a natural desire to have children inside of you, you just dont realize it yet.

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Posted by: primarypianist ( )
Date: May 09, 2018 11:02AM

It sounds like much hasn't changed since I was in Young Women's, approx. 15 years ago.
I remember being jealous of the young men, because they almost always played basketball or volleyball for mutual and we had to do crafts, or activities that prepared us for motherhood. It was so crappy, that by the time I was a Laurel, my mom didn't even make me go to mutual the last year or so.
And don't even get me started on camp. It was awful! Our whole day was planned out for us, with stupid activities, and we'd have to meet every morning and night with all the other wards to do prayers, cheers, etc. And then there was testimony meeting around the campfire, where all the girls bawled like babies. I hated camp!! Luckily, my mom didn't make me go to the last year or two of camp either.
I guess I should be glad that they haven't changed their ways, cause this is the kind of stuff that drives the youth out of the church. Having a bunch of old geezers, who are so out of touch with the youth, is bound to have a negative impact on the church.

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Posted by: Avocet ( )
Date: May 09, 2018 02:02PM

That is so awesome that you already know you don't want children. When I was your age, about thirty plus years ago, I thought I wanted kids. But that was just programmed thinking. Once I realized having children was an actual choice, I felt so liberated. Take it from an old, past-her-prime lady, I never regretted not having children. What truly sealed the deal for me was observing everyone who did have kids. They said one thing about how awesome parenthood was, but the way they actually lived day to day said something entirely different. So good for you!

Also, until you are out of the house might seem like an eternity right now, but it is just a blink of an eye. Take time to think about what you want in life and how you are going to get there. You are the captain of your ship. No one else will be living your life but you. Find your passions and pursue them.

Shout out from another Atheist. Religious belief sucked for me, big time. I always had to work at it. Then I realized it was a choice. You see, there's a theme here. When someone else isn't calling the shots in your life, guess who gets to do that? There's a reason why it is called sweet freedom. You sound like you are definitely on the right track for peace and happiness.

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