Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: BeenThereDunnThatExMo ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 03:54PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 03:57PM

First tell me Elohim's last name...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: BeenThereDunnThatExMo ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:07PM

Hi EOD...

Best I can come up with is Elohim God???

Or so it seems to me...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:09PM

El O. Him, Esq.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:13PM

Nah,

El O'Him.

He's another Irish Laminate.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: September 29, 2018 12:32PM

Or a laminate.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:15PM

They don't use middle initials.

Yeshua is his hebrew name.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:26PM

Yeshua L. O'Him?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:27PM

Because he's Irish.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:31PM

I think she gave Jesus' Hebrew name. I think Yhwy O'Him is Jehovah's Latinized full name.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:33PM

There we go!

YHWH O'Him

We got it!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: BeenThereDunnThatExMo ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:38PM

Hi Amyjo...

They both HAVE to use Middle Initials...they're both Mormons aren't they???

Or so it seems to me...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:40PM

J. Esus Christ

Y. HWH O'Him

In Mormondom, those are acceptable substitutes.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/28/2018 04:40PM by Lot's Wife.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:42PM

Maybe they have secret temple names, and use a secret handshake.

But I doubt it. :)

I worked for a call center where some of my outgoing calls were to people named Jesus. I didn't know going into that job that Jesus is pronounced "Hay-su."

So ... when the person on the other end of the line said hello, I'd say back, Hello, I'm calling to talk to Jesus. They'd say, "What?" I'd say it again or something like, "Is Jesus there?"

All the people sitting around my cubicle would giggle in laughter. Finally someone told me it was because I was asking to speak to Jesus, instead of Hay-su. It cracked me up too once they told me that. It did sound pretty funny.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/28/2018 04:42PM by Amyjo.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 08:01PM

No one ever offered the alternative pronunciation, Hay Sus?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 08:08PM

That seems more reasonable, I'd think.

Thank you Elde Ol Do.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Jersey Girl ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 04:35PM

Very old Joke: How do you know Jesus was really Irish? He was 30 years old, not married and lived at home with his parents, had 12 drinking buddies he hung out with, and his Mother thought he was God.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: September 28, 2018 09:10PM

"Elohim" is just a stage name. His full stage name is "Elohim Omuhgawd."

His real birth name is Virgil T. Godfrey. ("T" is for Tiberius)

"How do you know this, Wally Prince?" you might ask.

Simple. When I went through the temple for my first time, I got "Elohim" as my new name. "No forkin' wayyyy!" I exclaimed. "I'm Elohim."

The guy behind the veil didn't believe me until I showed him my new-name slip. "Do me a miracle," the guy says. Turns out I ain't got no super powers. But the way the world is I figured that don't mean I ain't the real Elohim.

Anyhowz, I got curious, so I started digging and found some things out in the Akashic Wikipedia. The original Elohim was born as one Virgil Tiberius Godfrey on Planet Hubkap, near unto Kolob. Due to a freak laboratory accident he became a god-like being and decided to turn it into a cosmic stage act. He never liked the name Virgil much, so he decided to call himself "Elo Him Ohmugawd, the Magnificent!"

When he got more famous, performing in the original "Las Vegas" in a galaxy far, far away, it was just shortened to "Elohim."

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Dead Cat ( )
Date: September 29, 2018 09:40AM

Even

Elohim Even god the father.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: September 29, 2018 09:43AM

You go yahweh, I'll go mine.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: September 29, 2018 10:30AM

I figure if GAs are required to have one initial, God himself should have two.

So... L. O. Him. Sort of like lol.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: September 29, 2018 03:51PM

First, Christ has no middle name. Nor does he have a last name, the single name is Jesus. Christ is a title not a name. There is NO "H" middle. About the only person with a single letter for a middle name was President Truman.

I was at a camp once where I had a roommate with first name and a last name both of only three letters. In college I had a roommate also without a middle name and his first and last names were each only four letters - and I believe he is the only living person with the that first and last name. My name, excluding spaces and roman numerals, is over 30 letters.

BTW, the reason for the moniker "Jesus H. Christ" is simply used to avoid taking the Lord's name in vain. Perhaps someone actually has such a name.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2018 03:57PM by rhgc.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: grudunza ( )
Date: September 30, 2018 12:36AM

Actually, his middle name is Aitch.

Ya know, like Homer Simpson’s middle name turned out to be Jay.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Happy_Heretic ( )
Date: September 30, 2018 12:40PM

Elohim Nielsen O’reilly the 37th. Gay as he could be.

HH =)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: October 01, 2018 10:04AM

P.
For "penis" of course.

Visual evidence of this is found in the graphics accompanying the "Book of Abraham" in LDS canonized scripture, where Elohim is shown sitting on his throne with a fully erect one.

His full name is Elohim P. Hornswoggle.

I know these things to be true innanameofcheezeandriceamen.

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Subject: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
  ******    **     **  **     **  ********    *******  
 **    **   **     **  **     **  **     **  **     ** 
 **         **     **  **     **  **     **  **        
 **   ****  **     **  *********  ********   ********  
 **    **    **   **   **     **  **     **  **     ** 
 **    **     ** **    **     **  **     **  **     ** 
  ******       ***     **     **  ********    *******