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Posted by: jay ( )
Date: November 14, 2018 09:48PM

at an LDS meeting house? I did, tonight.

If so, what . . . the F word? GD? something else?

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Posted by: anonculus ( )
Date: November 14, 2018 11:07PM

"shitpot"? (Brigham Young)

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Posted by: Hedning ( )
Date: November 14, 2018 11:22PM

If you grew up before about the 80s it was pretty common for some of the farmers and ex- GIs to fall back to their native dialects in Fast and Testimony meeting. " that Son of bitch" I must have heard 100 times.

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Posted by: jay ( )
Date: November 14, 2018 11:50PM

Tonight I heard the daughter of an LDS GUY AT HIS FUNERAL, she told a story - and in the story she referred to her Dad saying “god damn it” —-

I thought the bishop smiled.

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Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 12:35AM

I repeatedly heard the worst profanities ever. Stuff about perverts supposedly being prophet and apostles -very offensive to anyone with any sense of decency !!!!

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 01:05AM

Though I'm not old enough to have met him personally, J Golden Kimball was well known for his profanity.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: November 16, 2018 01:19AM

and in a way, his profanity made him quite popular with the clod-kicking contingent of the Mormon kingdom.

I can't find it right now, but I remember reading an article not long ago where the author was pointing to J. Golden Kimball as an example of how nepotism in the LDS hierarchy had gotten so out of control that they had gotten quite a few guys in positions of leadership who obviously had no place being in such positions (based on the standards preached and taught by the Church).

Of course, nowadays, they're very careful to project the proper outward image at all times (language, attire, mannerisms, etc.). But I'm quite confident that a large number of the neatly groomed businessmen masquerading as GAs these days don't have anything even close to a real "testimony" of the kind that ordinary TBMs think they have.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 01:34AM

When I was a kid, there was an urbane older man in our ward who curiously never had a church job. Ultimately I learned why. He gave a sacrament speech in which he dropped a couple of "damns" and "hells" and everyone looked shocked.

Which more than did the trick.

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Posted by: scmd1 ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 01:54AM

I've heard "damn" or "damned" in expletive form from the pulpit, but nothing beyond that.

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Posted by: Now a Gentile ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 08:06AM

In a singles ward the first counselor got up in sacrament and told a joke about crossing J. Golden Kimball and Spencer Kimball.

"Do it, damn it."

While it was not in a church meeting, it was in a church where I swore at a funeral.

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 08:23AM

Someone on the testimony meeting thread told of a new convert confirming his testimony by repeatedly using the phrase "I shit you not".

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: November 16, 2018 01:04AM

It was a new convert guy at the first F&T meeting after his baptism.

I don't think he even realized he was doing it. He had probably used the expression so much that it didn't even seem like cussing to him.

But he sure made the Bishopric and half the congregation squirm and grimace. He must've said it a dozen times or so in his rambling testimony. "And then, I shit you not, the missionaries showed me that scripture...and, I shit you not, it was exactly what I had been wondering about and...."

I don't know whatever happened to that guy. My bet is that he went inactive not long after that. I'm pretty sure he had no idea what the LSD Church was really all about when he got baptized. Long hair, lived in a trailer, loved beer before getting baptized, seemed to have a lot of girlfriends.... Now that I think about it, maybe something about Joseph Smith resonated with him.

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Posted by: Dennis Moore nli ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 08:33AM

No, but I've actually wanted to let the cuss words fly. My inner monolog has cussed up a storm at church (when I went).

Does that count?

-potty mouth Dennis

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Posted by: Hockeyrat ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 08:38AM

Long time ago, when I just started attending, a young priest kept messing up on the blessing and he had to keep starting over, he just whispered “ damn” to himself, but ones sitting near could hear.

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Posted by: Elder What's-his-face ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 09:17AM

one time a missionary was giving a talk and during it he said"..I mean I'm not totally anal about the commandments, but..."

We had a new missionary the following week.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: November 16, 2018 01:33AM

being that it's just shorthand for the "anal-retentive" term used in Freudian analysis.

But that's probably why I wasn't good Mormon material.

I've always thought it funny the way that Mormons will use substitutes like "shoot" and "darn" and "heck" and "fudge" which everyone knows are stand-ins for shit, damn, hell and f*ck. If you're going to basically try to use the taboo word while pretending that you're not, why not just use the taboo word.

It seems that our society has gotten insane to the point where they cannot distinguish between clinically discussing the use of a particular word versus using the word in a spiteful and offensive manner. For example if you talk about the "F" word and nobody knows what you're talking about, then you're failing to communicate. If everyone knows what you're talking about, why not just say the word? I guess in the presence of children... But among reasonably intelligent adults, it just boggles my mind that some people can be so sensitive that you have to protect their ears from hearing a particular word.

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Posted by: Honest TB[long] ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 09:50AM

Wo is me. I called myself a "M" word. Satan got a huge victory on that one. I am such an evil person. Nevertheless, thanks to the sacred Correlation program that has reared me since the time I gained a powerful testimony that the Cheerios in Nursery were true, I have been conditioned to believe that I must repent. I'm not going to do anything despicable like call myself the "M" word anymore.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 10:04AM

Your sarcasm brings up a question, though:

Is the "M" word now on the list of profane terms for mormons?

Yea, verily, the words thou shalt not use are shit, fuck, ass, and mormon. Thus sayeth the profit.

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Posted by: Profaner ( )
Date: November 15, 2018 11:15PM

I swore once as the speaker. I accidentally dropped my notes in the middle of my talk, and “SH*T” came out of my mouth immediately. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED, I must have turned 50 shades of red.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: November 16, 2018 01:11AM

In my day to day life, I have to maintain a certain level of decorum and I usually have no problem.

But in my internal dialogue I often entertain myself with Carlin-esque strings of profanity and try to think of new and fun expletive combinations. I always tell myself that it's just for fun in the privacy of my own head and that is where it will stay.

But on a number of occasions lately, when something unexpected happens, I find myself blurting out one of my patented expletive combinations without my internal editor being able to spring into action soon enough to stop it. Then I look around with great embarrassment to see the shocked faces of the other people in the vicinity and all I can do is say something lame like "did I say that?"

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Posted by: Canyonprophet ( )
Date: November 16, 2018 02:24AM

Well, blessing the sacrament once when I was 16, I screwed-up the blessing mid way through and said "sh1t" under my breath and the microphone definitely picked it up because I could hear it echo off the chapel walls. Surprisingly, no one said a word about it afterwards.

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Posted by: Investigating atheism ( )
Date: November 19, 2018 09:22PM

My brother messed up the sacrament prayer. He didn’t add any swear words, but on his second or third attempt, he emphasized the phrase “Oh, God,” such that it sounded like he was cursing.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: November 19, 2018 03:40PM

I think the ultra-emotional crying is 'profane', does that count?

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Posted by: icanseethelight ( )
Date: November 19, 2018 03:42PM

We had a non member come up and call us all assholes in a rambling 15 minute rant once.

The member of the bishopric who let her rant said it was good to make people uncomfortable sometimes.

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Posted by: matt ( )
Date: November 20, 2018 04:09AM

No. But several times I felt like uttering a few cusswords at some bozo who was pontificating from the stand.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: November 20, 2018 12:13PM

Sad but true.

A young man, who most of us thought highly of due to his energetic talks and profound love of the church, was suffering from mental illness. Despite his best attempts, he continued to make mistakes while reading the the sacrament prayer. When he made another mistake, he stopped and stood up. All eyes were upon him. "God damnit I can't do this shit anymore." He pushed the other two priests out of the way. Everyone was stunned.

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Posted by: pugsly ( )
Date: November 20, 2018 07:15PM

My super TBM brother had a child, about four years old, run up to the podium during sacrament meeting. My nephew grabbed the mic and started singing. My brother tried to grab the kid and grab the mic. My nephew started yelling “SH!T” over and over.
I laughed until I cried. Best sacrament meeting EVER!

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Posted by: m0rtes ( )
Date: November 21, 2018 07:47PM

convert 33 years old works as a correctional sergeant (jail)

so we had this little flip down metal shelf for sacrament prayer i'm kneeling with two young men and as i'm reading the little metal shelf flips up and i lost my spot and had to do it again.
so on the second try it does it again and i say "Stupid "F"ing thing"
which got a gasp out of 99.9 percent of everyone except the bishops wife who SNORTED with laughter.

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