Posted by:
Afraid of Mormons
(
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Date: January 21, 2019 07:40PM
Thanks for this thread, Mel. I, too, enjoy your posts. Yes, you are a quick learner.
The book "Co-dependent no more" is very helpful!
My TBM mother and TBM father of my children were passive-aggressive. I used to think of it as "hatred and jealousy disguised as love."
The passive-aggressive Mormon neighbors who are shunning me, hurt me feelings, at first, but now I understand their underlying resent of me. I'm one of those people who always land on their feet. I seem to always have "good luck". I'm too happy all the time, and they think I'm faking it. They don't know my childhood suffering, how very hard I have worked, and the long hours I've put in, the pain of a chronic incurable disease. Luck had nothing to do with it. It was my knowledge of other things, that Mormons don't teach, and that Mormons actually discourage, that got me through. I learned mostly from books--from "experts." I did not rely on a cult, that wanted to keep me "sweet" and in my place as a piece of chattel. The cult who promised to help me was actually my enemy.
Examples of these "worldly" principles are: unconditional love (Nelson is against it), appreciation, self-confidence and pride (Mormons consider pride to be evil); hope for a future based on personal achievement instead of random "blessings" granted or not-granted by the MorGod; control over my life (instead of blindly taking orders), accepting responsibility and blame and praise, instead of pushing it all onto "Satan" or "fate" or "the plan". There are many more examples.
Oh yes, I love books! You can learn quickly and efficiently, without being harmed, without wasting your life. If a book seems full of BS or is boring or insulting to your intelligence, you just recycle it, and move on.
I learned a great deal from the Mormons about manipulation, also, which has helped me to say "no" and to spot scams and con-artists a mile away. My children won't be manipulated, either.
Still--the abuse we suffered at the hands of the Mormons, when we were members, was NOT WORTH the few lessons we would have learned, anyway, in a more favorable environment. You don't have to live through something, in order to learn it. Our parents could have taught us these lessons, had they not been ignorant, brainwashed Mormons themselves. Plus, there are all those lies we learned, that we had to UN-learn, and all the bad habits, and all the hatred the Mormons tried to instill in us.
Sorry--there is nothing good that my children and I gained directly from the cult. We were used, robbed of our money, and abused.
So many ex-MOrmons express regret that they didn't leave the cult SOONER. I left, and took the kids with me, when my children were young enough to benefit. I would leave all over again, and go through all the harassment (bad experiences, but nothing compared to the ABUSE when we were nembers) all over again--even if I had only a few days left of my life. That euphoria of freedom and truth was priceless! It still is.